The other
by Shihoin82
Summary: Sachiko attends Lilian University, clinging to the only Rose present there, Sei Probably an unusual pairing to most people, but I've always been fascinated by the idea of these two pairing up. SachikoxSei. Warning: Yuri. Rated T right now, might change.
1. Chapter 1

Ogasawara Sachiko stood in front of the Lilian University, dazed and confused. She had known it for awhile, but had never prepared to witness Kashiwagi Suguru with another man. She had, just yesterday, as she accidentally walked in on her fiance, about to kiss his apparent lover. _I would have to marry that man, who is in love with someone else. And it could never be me, regardless of how I feel for him, or treat him. _

It was her first day in college, and no one to walk with. Her petite sœur, Fukuzawa Yumi, is still in Lilian School for Girls beside the university, and is very much preoccupied with being in the student council. Her only source of hope to at least make this day bearable is, if she bumps into an old friend. Though annoying at best, Sachiko still secretly wished that Satou Sei will find her in this crowd, the only one she can consider her friend that is also enrolled at Lilian University. There is nothing more comforting than stumbling across an old familiar face when you are lost, figuratively and literally.

In the midst of her depressed musings, a pair of arms snaked around her neck from behind and whispered in an almost chuckling voice, "Please give this hug to Yumi-chan from me, Sa-chan".

Sachiko nearly jumped out of her skin at the contact and frowned as Sei ruffled her hair. "Sei-sama, please don't be inappropriate to me, _especially_ since we are in a public area"

"Tsk. Tsk. You make it sound like I was groping you because of you. Like I said, send that to my Yumi-chan"

"If you want to harass my petite sœur, Sei-Sama, you are free to cross the lawn. The Rose Mansion is a mere few meters away", Sachiko retorted as she straightened her blouse.

"Are you sure it's her you want me to harass? Because I could very well see the disappointment in your eyes when I let go of you", Sei snickered and held her arm around Sachiko's neck. Before Sachiko could respond, Sei tugged her and said, "now, come on. I'll take you to your first class. Then we'll have lunch. Why, it seems like I might have a petite sœur even in Uni!"

Sachiko fought against Sei's tight hold on her. "Sei-sama, I was never your petite sœur, nor do I plan to be"

"You're right. I don't plan to take you away from Youko. God knows what that crazy woman will do to me... BUT on the other hand, what she doesn't know won't hurt anyone, my new petite sœur"

"That's suppose to be a mutual decision", Sachiko grumbled while she stared at her class card. "I, uhm, my class is at the 3rd floor of this building, Sei-sama. I can--"

Sei swiped the paper from Sachiko's hand. "Room 315, I see. I'll go with you. My class is next to yours", she said with a grin.

Sei walked Sachiko towards the door of room 315 and gave her a brief and friendly hug. "I can see how anxious you are, Sachiko. You need anything, just go to me, okay?"

Sachiko nodded and smiled a bit. "Thank you, Sei-sama. I will see you after class"

"Great!", Sei exclaimed, flashing her trademark grin and a thumbs up.

Sachiko breathed in, scanned the room and searched for an available seat. She sat next to two girls who seemed to have immediately recognized her. Or at least that's what Sachiko thought.

"Hi, I'm Konomi. And this is Rena. You are?", one of the girls said with a congenial smile.

Sachiko returned the gesture and spoke kindly. "Sachiko"

The other girl giggled. "You know Satou Sei?"

Sachiko nodded, bewildered as to how these girls knew her friend. "Yes...she was a year ahead of me at Lilian Academy...how did you know Sei-sama?"

"You didn't attend the freshmen orientation?"

"Uhm...no...I figured, I've studied at Lilian all my life, there's not much need to know about the university policies"

"Well, we're not from Lilian, and it was the first time we met Sei. She was assigned to our group, to tour us around the university", Konomi blushed. "She is so..."

"Cute", Rena finished wistfully. "And quite a flirt, if I may add"

"Oh", Sachiko said, controlling herself from laughing. _Same Sei...Same effect on girls. Some girls anyway, _correcting her own thoughts.

"Are you and Sei...?"

Before Sachiko could even find out what the question really meant, the professor entered and introduced himself. _Welcome to life, Sachiko. _

---

Sei was already outside Sachiko's room, leaning against the wall, when the bell rang. "Sa-chan.", she said with a cheerful tone. The girls who spoke with Sachiko earlier swooned and elbowed the raven-haired girl. Sachiko, however, frowned. _Do these girls think..._

"Sei-sama", Sachiko muttered. "I would appreciate it if you don't call me by that...by how _he _calls me"

Sei merely grinned. "But I'm not him, Sa-chan. I say your name better than he does, don't you agree?", she said with much gentleness in her smile and gaze that Sachiko couldn't help but relent to her friend's question.

"Fine...but only if you'd be a good 'onee-sama' to me today, and treat me out to lunch"

Sei chuckled. "Onee-sama, huh? Alright, alright". Once again, she placed her arms around Sachiko's shoulders and guided her away from the crowd. Sachiko caught a glimpse of those two girls, giggling. _Now what on earth...?_

Sachiko stared at Sei who was seated in front of her, while the latter ranted about her school load. Sei's hair has grown longer, quite the same as how it was when she graduated. Sachiko liked her that way, and even though she did not care to admit it before, had a curious fascination with how her friend managed to keep it unruly but still looked good on her. Despite her lack of aesthetic care, Sei has a very feminine face that attracts both girls and boys alike.

Sei chuckled then scratched the back of her head, making her hair more unruly. This made Sachiko smile with the realization that she is stuck with someone who must be her complete opposite, but still felt at ease about it. Sei is an old friend, and nothing can be more safe than that.

A group of freshmen girls paused and sheepishly waved at Sei, who eagerly returned the gesture with a grin and wink which led to a chorus of giggles trailing off. Sachiko shook her head in amusement. "Sei-sama, is _that_ why you chose Lilian University above others?"

"Sa-chan, Sa-chan. You make it sound that it's only girls I have in mind", the blonde beauty replied, still grinning. "You know very well, my heart belongs to my Yumi-chan"

"Are you honestly serious about that, Sei-sama?", Sachiko inquired. The way Sei had been extra attentive to her petite sœur, the teasing, the physical closeness, had been a question for Sachiko that had never been expressed before.

"Will you kill me if I am?"

"No...but..."

"Yumi-chan brightened up my life, in more ways than one. I tease her simply because her reactions warm my heart. She is so natural. Too natural for her own good. But to answer your question more directly, I do not love her that way. Did you actually think I was in love with her?"

Sachiko's eyes focused on the plate in front of her, embarrassed by her own inquiry.

Sei grinned. "I would have thought you knew how I behave when I am in love. Teasing is definitely not part of that". Flashes of Shiori's face briefly occupied her mind before she heard Sachiko respond.

"You get googly-eyed, and turn into mush", Sachiko giggled.

Sei's eyes grew big and laughed. "I prefer to be described as simply love-struck. But okay, I'll take your description too" She eventually frowned and gazed at Sachiko. "Why are you asking me that? Are you..."

"in love with Yumi? Goodness, no. She is my sister. Which is the very reason why I asked. I don't want you two getting hurt in anyway"

"Sei in love is equated to hurt?", Sei asked, arching her eyebrows.

"Yes", Sachiko said, laughing. "But since you're not in love with my__Yumi, then I am relieved you won't get hurt"

The blonde girl narrowed her eyes. "_Your_ Yumi? She's mine", she replied curtly, with a smug look on her face.

Sachiko leaned on her chair, closed her eyes and spoke with a petulant tone. "Onee-sama. I thought _I _am your petite sœur, now? Sachiko is getting jealous. Please forget about Yumi-chan or Sachiko will cry."

Sei remained silent for a few seconds then burst out laughing together with Sachiko. "Ah, Sa-chan. I never knew you can be this funny. Remind me to rummage my room for an old rosary and give it to you" This made them laugh some more, and for Sachiko, briefly forgetting about her future with Suguru through Sei's company was enough to keep her alive.

And more importantly, despite it being a source of humor, an unspoken and informal rule was formed that very instant--Sei will somehow be _her_ onee-sama, in a place where it is no longer required, nor expected; but simply wanted, or perhaps needed, by two people lost in a sea of transitions.

---

Sei graciously accompanied Sachiko once again to her next class. Lilian Academy is about order, but its University counterpart was more crowded and less conscious to social rules befitting for ladies. Sachiko knew very well that Sei is aware of her agoraphobia, and has truly appreciated Sei's kindness to her. "Sei-sama, I'm sorry that you've been walking to and fro because of me"

Sei simply waved it off. "Please stop being so apologetic. You're probably my only friend here, so don't think of this as a burden on my end. We Roses stick together. It is as simple as that",she ended with a smile and a pat on Sachiko's head. "I will come for you after this period ends, wait for me, Sa-chan"

The two girls from earlier poked their heads next to Sachiko, which almost gave her a heart attack. "You must feel so lucky, Sachiko"

Sachiko's mouth was left agape. "Pray tell why I should feel lucky when you two almost made my heart give up on me?"

"Because Sei has been accompanying you in all your classes, and then picks you up after.", said the first girl.

"Now that is what I call a dedicated form of love", nodded the other.

"She calls you Sa-chan? That is the sweetest"

Sachiko swallowed forcefully. "But we--"

The two let out a collective sigh, leaving Sachiko dumbfounded by their conclusions. _How Sei-sama and I have been behaving seemed perfectly natural before in Lilian Academy. So...to others this isn't? Does Sei-sama know about this? How would she feel if she finds out some people actually think that we...we're...we're...oh my. _

_---_

Sachiko didn't have to wait for a long time to find out. Right after class, Sei walked towards her and chuckled. "First day at Lilian University, and you are already the center of gossip, Sa-chan. I really must commend you"

"What do you mean, Sei-sama?"

"Passed by a bunch of girls. Heard them talking about a certain Sachiko as my girlfriend. Now, I wonder how that exactly came about?", Sei said thoughtfully, rubbing her chin with her hand. Sachiko turned pale and felt guilty.

Just when those apparent bunch of girls returned, Sei jumped behind Sachiko's back, hugged her and leaned her face near Sachiko's ear. "Maybe it's because of this" she said with a chuckle.

"Sei-sama!" Sachiko's eyes grew big and her cheeks began to burn. She had never been at the receiving end of Sei's teasing, and in just one day, she seems to be the _only_ one receiving Sei's antics. _So this is how Yumi must've felt...surprised...shocked...and...fun?_

The girls let out a collective gasp which only fueled Sei further. "I'll drive you home, my lovely Sa-chan, okay?", Sei said, increasing the volume of her voice a little bit, enough for the others to hear.

"Okay, Sei-sama", Sachiko replied. Once they were out of eavesdropping distance, both Sei and Sachiko laughed simultaneously.

"I figured out that people who do not come from gender-specific schools can barely understand the dynamics of our sœur system. It's both annoying and funny that they would automatically think of..."

"I know, I've realized that too"

Sei sighed. "Maybe that's why I refuse to hang out with other people here"

"Sei-sama, don't make that as an excuse. You've always just been simply an outsider, and you like it that way", Sachiko teased.

Sei nudged Sachiko. "As opposed to you, who secretly long to build friendships with other people"

"But our personalities don't necessarily contradict, do they?"

Sei grinned. "No, definitely not"

Sachiko smiled as they walked side by side. _One friend. This is all I need as a reason to wake up tomorrow. _

---

_I hoped too much to live another day. Sei-sama will definitely kill us both this very instant_. Sachiko thought as Sei darted other cars on the road. "Sei-sama...I'm...I'm..."

Sei pushed the breaks on the car. "Uh-oh". Sei immediately parked at the curb and opened the door of Sachiko's side of the car. The raven-haired girl instantly threw up at the side, leaving Sei grimacing in both guilt and grossness.

Sachiko felt like her soul had been thrown out together with her lunch but immediately felt revived upon feeling Sei's hand gently rubbing her back. "Sachiko...I'm sorry", Sei hushed, her facial expression extremely serious.

"I..it's okay Sei-sama...it's not your fault" _Sachiko? I thought I was her Sa-chan. Hold on. HER Sa-chan?!? Did I just--_

"I've forgotten you're not Yumi-chan. She's the only one who had ever sat there before, and she came out alive"

Despite her situation, Sachiko couldn't help but laugh. "Yumi is a lot stronger than me. Don't you forget that"

Sei chuckled. "You've always been the most delicate rose, Sachiko". Again, Sei had reverted back to calling her by her full name.

_So calling me Sa-chan was just another way of her teasing me? And here I am thinking she could really be my other onee--_

Sei smiled. "Feeling better, Sa-chan?"

Sachiko frowned. _What is it, really? And why am I even problematizing this?_

"Sa-chan?" Sei snapped her fingers, startling Sachiko.

"Yes Onee--I mean, Sei-sama". Sachiko blushed at her own slip. To her surprise, Sei gave a pleased look. "Well, I might as well take the role seriously now. No more teasing", she grinned and rubbed Sachiko's head. "Ready? I'll be really careful driving this time. Onee-sama will bring you home safely"

Sachiko rested her head on the car seat. _Thank you, Sei-sama. _

_---_

_R&R :)_


	2. Chapter 2

Sachiko lay on her bed after speaking to Yumi and candidly narrated the events of the day. She spoke of how Sei had sacrificed her time just to make sure she wouldn't faint in the middle of a crowded area; how Sei is so popular in university but opted to just spend the day with her, and how Sei had teased her just like how she used to tease Yumi. She conveniently omitted the part about some people thinking that she was Sei's girlfriend and how she referred to the blonde beauty as her onee-sama. She's not ready to be teased _that_ way by her own petite sœur.

_Onee-sama sounds like she had a lot of fun with Sei-sama_, Yumi said on the speaker with glee. _Just please don't have too much of it until I get there_, she teased.

Sachiko giggled by herself. She did have fun. It was the surprise of all surprises. Sei, the one person who had constantly annoyed her back in high school. She had gravely misjudged the blonde girl. She deeply cares about the people around her, at least those she considers her friends. And now that there are no distractions, she had finally noticed that trait.

_Come to think of it, _Sachiko thought, _Sei-sama had always looked out for me. She hated Suguru from the start, but I've always attributed that to a mere clash in personalities. I must apologize to her for treating her rather...harshly before. _

More importantly, Sachiko bitterly admitted to herself how much she missed being the petite sœur in a relationship. _Sachiko, you're still a child sometimes, after all_, she admitted to herself.

Sachiko's thoughts were rudely interrupted by a knock on the door. "Ms. Sachiko? Suguru-san is here to see you"

She frowned at the information but remained calm. "Thank you. I will be down briefly"

Suguru looked every inch like a prince but with a heavy chip on his shoulder. "Sa-chan", he muttered.

Sachiko closed her eyes. _Sei-sama is right, she says my name better than him because she says it with kindness_.

"Sa-chan, we must talk. Let's take a walk outside"

"No...I would rather that it would be inside the house...there is no one else here in the library"

Suguru sighed. "Alright...what you saw..."

"Is something that I should've expected...and should expect to walk in time and time again when I am already your wife"

"Sa-chan..."

"I am grateful that you have given me enough candor about your preference in the past. My only request is for you to be discreet about it. I do not wish to be seen in the future as an inadequate wife", she said rather coldly.

Suguru however smiled. "Sa-chan...have you been in love with anyone?"

"You know very well that I--"

"You weren't in love with me Sa-chan"

"How dare you dictate to m--"

"We grew up knowing we will end up getting married. Perhaps you have convinced yourself that you were in love with me. But that is because our minds would make us believe things in order to survive certain...environments. You are trapped and you know there is no escape, and so why not love me anyway? Am I wrong Sa-chan?"

Sachiko fell silent. She had never seen it that way. True, just like any girl, she had dreamt of marrying a prince, and Suguru seemed to have conveniently fallen in that category, but does she really love _him_ and not his version of him on her mind?

Suguru chuckled. "Sa-chan", he said affectionately.

_Not affectionately enough like... _She protested in her mind.

"I would rather that we have a...peaceful coexistence. I don't wish to bring you pain. This is both...hurtful to us already"

Sachiko gazed at Suguru and perhaps saw him for the first time in her life--the real Suguru. There was sadness in his eyes. She wasn't the only one carrying the burden of their impending union. For the first time, she had also felt...sympathy.

"Sa-chan, when you fall in love...you'll understand my...indiscretions. Perhaps Yumi-chan will make you--"

"YUMI?!? Suguru-san, you are out of your mind?!", Sachiko exclaimed.

Suguru laughed. "Or perhaps Sei-san? I had good knowledge of her bringing you home today"

Sachiko sighed. "Just because you are...you are...doesn't mean I am..."

"But Sei is, isn't she", he chuckled. "Perhaps that is why we get a long..._very_ well", he ended with a laugh. "But even I think she's very...attractive and feisty...always a good combination if I may add. I would gladly exchange you for her if I were the least bit interested in..."

Sachiko groaned. Suddenly they found themselves chuckling over the image of Sei marrying Suguru. That was just wrong in so many levels.

She had never been more comfortable next to Suguru, but somehow this conversation had both stripped them off from their masks. None of their problems were solved, but a new level of acceptance about their fate became apparent.

"Sachiko-sama", said the butler. "I am sorry to disturb you again, but Sei-sama is here to see you"

Suguru arched his eyebrows as Sachiko glared at him. "Suguru-san. As I have stated, just because you are you, doesn't mean--"

"Oh but wouldn't it be a cute situation for us?", he laughed as he opened the door. "Sei-san, how are you?"

Sei frowned. "Well", she said curtly and discreetly glanced over Sachiko. She was relieved to see her friend in a cheerful manner rather than with a hollow stare-- one that she had employed every time Suguru is with her. _Everything seems to be going well this time. _

She grinned at Sachiko and held out a notebook. "You dropped this in my car."

"Oh!", Sachiko reached for the notebook. "Thank you Sei-sama"

"Not a problem. Well, that's my only reason for this surprise visit. I'll be heading off now"

"Uh, Sei-sama,w- why don't you join us for dinner?", Sachiko asked in a rather transparent and desperate tone, of which she mentally berated herself. _I sound like Yumi years ago. That's not good._

Sei looked visibly surprised, but was also wise enough not to embarrass Sachiko in front of Suguru. "Heh, that's alright_. _I have an engagement I need to go to"

"Oh, okay", Sachiko remarked evenly, now able to constrain disappointment. "Well, enjoy your date", she teasingly commented.

Sei laughed "I will. And I would gladly tell your onee-sama that as well"

Sachiko blushed out of embarrassment. "You're seeing my onee-sama?"

"Yes", Sei frowned. "I'm pretty sure it will a night of constant nagging from her end. Youko...I don't know how she manages to meddle with everyone's affairs and still emerge on top of her class. Where does she find the time?" She grinned then scratched her head. "Well. I'm rambling. I'll be going now." She leaned closer to Sachiko and whispered low enough for Suguru not to hear "See you tomorrow...Sa-chan"

Sachiko turned crimson red. "Y-yes, see you tomorrow, Sei-sama"

"Smooth, Sa-chan. Really smooth", Suguru muttered flatly. "Perhaps you should take some lessons from me"

"Suguru-san! I do not appreciate what you're implying"

Suguru smirked "And what is it exactly that I'm implying? That you have a wee bit of crush on Sei-san? Those cheeks of yours just gave you away"

"Gah!" Sachiko exclaimed, forgetting all her manners. "You simply wish for it to happen so that your guilt will be lessened", she quipped, as she walked out on Suguru.

---

The next day, Sachiko spent a good amount of time fixing her hair and then frowned. _Why_ _should I waste my time when Sei-sama will simply ruffle it again_. She put down her brush and stood up. _No need to straighten my blouse too_. She walked a few steps away from her drawer and suddenly laughed at herself. _What if she had actually chosen me before as her petite sœur? That would have been a crazy situation...that would've also saved her from..._

Sachiko shook her head. She had always known about Sei's painful relationship with Kubo Shiori. After all, her onee-sama was the one that gave Sei the much needed comfort. _It must've been so...difficult for Sei-sama. But nothing could've saved her from it. She is headstrong and she knew the consequences but still went for it". _She found herself feeling guilty for not reaching out. But how could she? She was also immersed in her own little world of woes. And it was only the time Yumi became her petite sœur that she had lightened up a bit. Sei herself would've probably stayed away from her. _But maybe now..._

"Eh, Sa-chan. What're you thinking about?"

"SEI-SAMA!!!" Sachiko almost tripped on herself at the sight of Sei in front of her room's door. Immersed in her own thoughts, Sachiko probably failed to hear their butler knock.

Sei grinned and laughed. "You're too jumpy in the morning"

Finally gaining composure, Sachiko straightened up and asked sternly. "What are you doing here so early, Sei-sama?"

"Picking you up", the blonde girl replied cheerfully. "I woke up today realizing I have nothing on my pantry but expired bread. And a growing girl like me needs breakfast.", she explained while rubbing her stomach. She tugged Sachiko by the wrist. "Now come on. I promise to be a more careful driver now"

---

"Mmm. Nothing like breakfast food", Sei said in between bites.

Sachiko giggled. "Seems really that way for you" She gazed seriously at Sei who happily chomped on her continental breakfast. "Sei-sama...I really appreciate that you're looking out for me...but...but if you have more important things to do...please don't let me--"

"Tsk. Sa-chan. What did I tell you? Roses stick together. Unless you are truly bothered by me pestering you"

"No! You're not pestering me at all. I really appreciate you keeping me company. You know I have difficulty adjusting..."

"Well? That solves it, doesn't it? I'll be your company till you're able to adjust. I have no complaints over that", Sei said with a smile.

Sahciko smiled back. _I don't think I'll ever be able to repay your kindness, Sei-sama. _

"Sei", a female voice behind Sachiko spoke. "Where were you yesterday?"

Sei made an annoyed sound. "Azami, this is Ogasawara Sachiko, the former Rosa Chinensis of Lilian Academy. Sachiko, this is Takanashi Azami", she said out flatly, deliberately ignoring the other girl's question.

"Oh", the girl glared at Sachiko. "A fellow rose, I see. No wonder you _forgot_ to meet up with me yesterday"

Sachiko gave Sei a questioning look, which was returned by a grin and a shrug. "Azami, Sachiko and I are having breakfast. I'm sure being the control-freak that you are, you have had your breakfast already, so I won't invite you anymore. I'll see you later in class"

Sachiko's eyes widened at Sei's dismissive attitude towards the other girl, who stomped and rudely left without a word. "Sei-sama..."

"Pffft. Don't mind her", she replied nonchalantly. Sachiko's intent gaze however made her feel uncomfortable. "Alright, alright. We...dated", she finally mumbled, admitting defeat over Sachiko's unwavering stare. "a complete utter mistake, if I may add. Youko was right, that girl's psycho"

"Is that why you met up with my onee-sama last night?"

Sei was caught off guard with the question. "Yes, well...yeah, that's why", Sei replied.

Sachiko however sighed. A sudden realization hit her. Why didn't she see this earlier? "Did my onee-sama asked you to look out for me? You gave her a report, didn't you?"

Sei frowned. "You're sharper than I thought, Sa-chan. But you are both wrong and right"

"What do you mean by that?'

"I did gave her a report on how you have been adjusting. Not much to report, mind you since yesterday was just your first day. But it wasn't your onee-sama who suggested that I'd look out for you"

"Yumi, then" Sachiko replied.

Sei laughed. "Yumi would never think of making _me_ look out for _you_. She'd probably believe you'll kill her once you find out"

"Then..."

"Okay, I take it back, you're duller than my 10 year old pencil sharpener"

"You're the one who volunteered...?"

Sei merely grinned then took a large bite of bacon. "Your onee-sama was more than teary-eyed at the idea of me taking on responsibility, by choice. I'd hate to just watch you faint everyday. That would be bothersome."

"Thank you...", Sachiko meekly replied. "But about Azami..."

"When I say don't mind certain things, I mean it, Sa-chan" she replied softly. "She acts out like we're ... Honestly, it never went past the second date, but because we belong to the same circle of acquaintances, she thinks, well, you know"

Sachiko nodded. "So. I'm a convenient excuse not to hang out with them", she chuckled.

"Aww. Don't think of yourself as that. It's more of a...strategic partnership"

Sachiko gave a full-hearted laugh, which shocked Sei. When the raven-haird girl caught herself, she blushed then grinned at the blonde one. _Sei-sama, your roughness is viral. _

_---_

Sachiko began filling her diary with things to do for the rest of the week while she waited for Sei to pick her up. First week, and already there were assignments and books to read. She stared at the boxes with dates on top of it and wondered how Sei's diary looked like.

Wednesday, however, was left blank. In Lilian University, there is a specific day assigned for what they referred to as U-break. No classes for everyone, which meant that day was left for consultations, research and other co-corricular activities. But for Sachiko, she filled it up with only three letters. S-E-I.

For Sei, U-break simply meant a literal definition, a break from the university, which she liberally interpreted as a day _away_ from the university and therefore should be spent lounging around or whatever else she considered fun. The blonde girl was able to convince Sachiko to do the same.

_We're not part of the student council anymore, Sa-chan. No responsibilities! How'd you like that?_

_But Sei-sama, isn't the U-break for--_

_Research, consulation, blah, blah, blah. You mean to tell me you're already going to study? Come on. It's the first week. What's there to work on? _

_Okay...but what am I going to do?_

_Whatever tickles your fancy.. I'll be your driver for the day. You need to know the freedom of a university student. _

Sachiko sat up as she heard a car pull over. _Sei-sama. _

"Oi, Sa-chan! Did I keep you waiting?". Sei suddenly frowned at Sachiko and pointed at her. "What is _that_?"

Sachiko panicked. "What...what do you mean, that?"

"What are you wearing?", she chuckled. "We're hanging out, not going to have tea with the ladies"

Sachiko blushed. Yumi never made a comment about her clothes, and it took Sachiko herself to realize that she has a tendency to overdress for a very casual activity. She glanced at Sei who was wearing a form fitting pair of jeans, wife-beater and a coat. "You can't possibly be comfortable all day in that outfit. I'll wait for you while you change to something more relaxing", Sei suggested while still grinning.

Sachiko returned with something similar to Sei's, and the blonde girl gave her approval with a nod and a wink. "Sa-chan. Don't you sometimes feel like you're in a straight-jacket?", she inquired while keeping her eye on the road.

"Are you referring to my clothes, or my life in general?" the raven-haired girl inquired with a giggle.

"Erm, I suppose, both?"

Sachiko sighed and gazed outside the window. "I can't really answer that because I've never known of any other way of living"

Sei glanced at her with pity, but recovered eventually. "We'll have to do something about that, then"

Sachiko's heart skipped. "What do you mean by that, Sei-sama?"

"You need to have a point of comparison, right? Then we'd just have to introduce you to an un-Sachiko way of living"

"By that you mean, the Sei-sama lifestyle"

Sei laughed and nodded. "Exactly! Today, we begin with the re-education of Ogasawara Sachiko. But before we do that, let's make a quick stop to somewhere important"

---

"Sei-sama? This is Lilian--"

"Academy, not University. I miss my Yumi-chan", she replied with a laugh.

They entered the Rose Mansion as quietly as possible, hoping to surprise the current Roses. True enough, Yumi couldn't contain her happiness upon seeing her onee-sama. Sei began tormenting Yumi, as usual, but this time Sachiko refused to intervene, and instead poked fun at Yumi.

"Onee-sama! You've just started to spend time with Sei-sama, and you're already like her", Yumi grumbled.

"Sa-chan. That means you're beginning to act like a dirty old man", Sei chuckled.

"Oh my" Sachiko replied with all seriousness. "Am I really?"

The three laughed together. Yumi truly felt happiness seeing her onee-sama laugh that way. Any other year, she would've felt insecure and most likely jealous. But she had grown more mature and secure over their relationship as sisters. More over, she couldn't help but chuckle seeing her onee-sama with Sei-sama. _What an oddball of a combination. But it seems to be working just fine for onee-sama. I'm glad. _

Shimako entered the office and her eyes bulged at the sight of Sei who on the other hand grinned and flashed a peace sign at her.

"Onee-sama!", Shimako exclaimed. "Is everything alright?"

Sei chuckled. "See Sa-chan? This is why I'm alright being your onee-sama. Look at my dear Shimako. Serious as ever. I think I'm doomed to be stuck with people who are born without their funny bones"

Sachiko blushed. Yumi raised her eyebrows. "Your onee-sama? I didn't know Lilian University also had a sœur system?"

Shimako on the other hand, understood it right away. "Yumi-san, I don't think they have it there, too. Onee-sama is merely teasing Sachiko-sama"

"Aaaah", Yumi said in a contemplative manner. "Well, then, Sei-sama, please don't harass my onee-sama they way you harass me. She's not used to that kind of treatment."

"You mean like this?", Sei grinned, hugged Sachiko from behind, buried her face on the other girl's hair and inhaled. "Mmm...You smell good, Sa-chan"

"Sei-sama! Not in front of Yumi!", Sachiko protested.

"Would you rather we do this somewhere more private?", Sei replied with much glee.

Sachiko's eyes widened "Ahh no! That's not what I meant!"

"Yaaaaah. Sei-sama! Don't do that to onee-sama!", Yumi ran towards the two senior girls and tugged Sei away from Sachiko. Wrong move for Yumi. Sei quickly grabbed her as well, and held the two Rosa Chinensis in her arms.

Shimako stood in front of the three and muttered, "oh dear...Sei-sama..."

Sei eventually let go of the two, who both gasped for air. "Yumi-chan, this is all your fault. I have almost forgotten why I went here in the first place." She moved next to Shimako and grinned. "Got time for me?"

Shimako serenely nodded and smiled. "always"

Sei's grin grew bigger. She offered her arm to Shimako who gladly took it. "Oi, you two. Gather your senses while my petite sœur and I are gone for a bit"

While Sachiko and Yumi both tried to catch their breaths, they could hear Shimako berating her onee-sama from the other side of the door.

"_Onee-sama, you do realize you have caused Sachiko-sama serious aggravation?"_

"_Aww, Shimako...I missed you, my dear petite sœur"_

"_I missed you too, onee-sama...but do try to behave...and please don't be so irreverent to Sachiko-sama..."_

"_Why am I also stuck with people whose ultimate dream is to become mother superior?"_

---

"Shimako was the important reason why she dropped by here", Sachiko said, smiling at her own petite sœur.

Yumi nodded. "Their relationship is quite mind-boggling, isn't it?"

"Yes it is", the older one agreed.

Yumi grinned. "Ours too"

Sachiko smiled and hugged Yumi. "I agree"

When Sachiko had let go of Yumi, the latter stared at her. "But you know what's the biggest mystery of them all? You and Sei-sama finally getting along", she quipped and then giggled.

Sachiko laughed. "I definitely concur"

---

"So this is the Satou Sei lifestyle?"

Sei stretched her long legs and rested them on a chair. "Yep"

Sei brought Sachiko to her apartment. It was a modest one room apartment which was spartan in terms of furniture. But whatever it lacked on the inside, made up for having a balcony and a priceless view of Tokyo. "Just taking tea and, doing and thinking of nothing else. I love this."

Sachiko smiled. "Sei-sama, I do not mean to be intrusive, but...is Shimako alright?"

Sei opened one of her eyes. "Yes, she's fine. Do you know something that I don't?"

"Ah, no...I just...well you two left and spoke for some time...I just wondered"

Sei grinned. "Nah. Just...spending time with you made me realize how bad of an onee-sama I have been to her."

Sachiko gave her a quizzical look.

"Shimako and I...we had this unspoken rule of live and let live. I believe, in a way, it was good for the both of us...but that unfortunately also meant few memories that I shared with her. I feel that I've avoided some way a form of bond with her because I was scared of screwing up. Well, now that I don't feel pressured as her onee-sama, I want to start building a real friendship with her"

Sei sipped her tea and continued. "Shimako is a lot stronger than me...I probably lean more to her than the other way around. Moments with her, and Yumi-chan, and even Youko and Eriko, they push the bad memories away from my mind"

"No wonder you look so happy"

"Yes. And the fact that...this too, right now, will be a happy memory. Pretty soon, all I'll have would be good ones, and the rest will have no space left for them to exist"

"I'm glad I'm part of it". Sachiko found herself gazing at Sei, whose smile radiated and melded with the sunlight. _Now, you are part of mine too. _

_---_

_A/N: R&R :) I do realize most of you who have read the first chapter went like o_0 at the idea of Sei and Sachiko. So thank you for keeping an open mind. :D_


	3. Chapter 3

The first few weeks went by quickly for Sachiko. She had developed a routine of some sorts. Sei unpredictably drops by to drive her and Sachiko to school and back, so Sachiko's driver is always on stand by. Whatever the case may be, Sachiko had noticed that within school compound, Sei would be the first and last person she would go to.

The Ogasawara princess, however, had also successfully ween herself off from having Sei walk her towards every classroom; she had learned to avoid crowded areas, and bring herself to class without any sense of panic.

It was a quiet friday afternoon and Sachiko fought against the boredom that slowly crept in, no thanks to the endless blabbering of her professor about human sexuality. Her ears however perked up when the teacher mentioned "sexual deviants" that included homosexuals and pedophiles. _Deviants? And on the same level as pedophiles??? That's...that's just so.._

Her blood started to boil. But before she could engage her professor in a debate, a shrill sound interrupted the class.

The professor moaned. "Alright, everyone. Fire drill. Bring your necessities but nothing more and calmly walk out of the room"

Sachiko glanced outside and saw hordes of students lining up towards the fire exit. _Heavens..._

---

Sei suppressed a yawn and tried to take notes inside the auditorium. _Modernist authors are so pathetic. Structure, structure, structure. Endless struc--Huh? Fire drill..._

"..." Sei stood up immediately, panic written all over her face. "Sa-chan!" She pushed her way in front against the rest of the student body inside the big auditorium. "Move it, you sloths!", she shouted at a bunch of girls who lazily walked towards the door.

She ran towards the corridors and looked down at the parking lot where students were instructed to go. _How in the world will I spot...? _Sei ran as fast as she could. She had never felt this sense of worry before. _Stay calm, Sa-chan...I'll find you. _

_---_

Sachiko felt her breathing become heavier with every move, and cold sweat ran down her forehead. She held on to the staircase, taking one step at a time. Miraculously, she had enough strength to reach the ground floor and allowed her body to be pushed by the crowd towards the parking lot. Things, however, failed to become better for Sachiko. The whole school has now gathered in one area, and Sachiko was in the middle of it. _Sei-sama...where are you?_

She knew she was on the verge of fainting. The density of the crowd and the aggregate noise become too much. Her eyes started to feel heavy and her head was light. But before her knees gave up, she felt cold hands gripping both her arms. "Sa-chan...come with me...my car's nearby", Sei whispered in her ear. Sei maneuvered herself and Sachiko away from everyone, shielding the latter by her own body until they have reached Sei's buggy. "Here...sit down". Sei hurriedly moved on the driver's side, turned on the engine and the air conditioning. She reached out and opened the glove compartment, revealing a portable medical kit, and dabbed some ammonia on a piece of cotton wool. Then she held Sachiko close to her, allowing the younger girl to lean against her body. "Hmm...that's it, run this near your nose...it should make the dizziness go away"

"Thank you...", was all Sachiko could mutter, and immediately followed Sei's instruction. Sei then poked around her duffle bag and brought out a bottle of water. "Drink..."

After a few minutes, Sachiko finally snapped out of her dazed state and realized she had been resting on Sei, who repeatedly and absent-mindedly brushed her hair. Her stirring caught Sei's attention and finally spoke, "feeling better?"

Sachiko gently pushed herself away from Sei and smiled. "Yes, thank you" She found herself glancing curiously at the medical kit dumped on the car's dashboard.

Sei chuckled. "Your onee-sama gave me some solid finger-wagging after I slipped about you vomiting. So I figured those things would come in handy. I just didn't realize it would be this soon. But hey, it works!".

Sachiko blushed and looked away. "You must think I'm really that weak"

The blonde one grinned widely. "That was pretty brave of you, being out there"

"You still had to save me, Sei-sama", Sachiko murmured sadly.

The blonde girl stroked Sachiko's head then smiled affectionately. "We all need to be saved by others, one way or another" She chuckled. "Sa-chan, do you know why I love your onee-sama so much?"

"She helped you when...Shiori...left" Sachiko found it hard to mention the girl's name. She wasn't sure how Sei would react to it. But whatever Sei felt about it was masked by her grin. "Well, it goes way before that...but that's something she doesn't know"

Sei focused her eyes on the tree in front of her car. "My onee-sama...always told me, she picked me because of how I look...that I had a pretty face. I figured out eventually it was just her tactic so that I won't feel much pressure about being her petite sœur and all the responsibilities attached to it."

Sachiko nodded, not knowing where Sei was actually heading with her story.

"You remember the time my onee-sama brought you in the Rose Mansion? Her first few words were something like...'Sachiko-chan is pretty like a Japanese doll, so I can't help caring about her'...of which I replied...apologizing for my western face"

"I...remember"

Sei chuckled. "Deep inside I panicked. My onee-sama chose me for a simple and decidedly straight reason...but that was also a fragile reason. I had this stinking feeling she would've dumped me for you"

"Sei-sama..."

"Of course I would panic" Grinning, Sei pinched Sachiko's cheek. "After all, if my onee-sama's choice is based on looks alone, how can I compete with that?"

If Sachiko could blush any further, blood will definitely stream out of her nose at that point.

"Then Youko took you as her petite sœur. Boy, did my heart jump into places"

Sachiko's eyes brightened. "So you mean to say..."

"Youko saved me from being dumped by my onee-sama. That would've been a catastrophe. So by virtue of you accepting Youko's rosary, you saved me too. I'm just paying it back."

Sachiko laughed after finally realizing what that story was for. Though she thinks that Sei made up most of her fears about being dumped by her onee-sama, that wasn't the point. This was to make her feel better about herself, that Sei doesn't see her as a burden.

It was too late for Sachiko to realize her body involuntarily threw itself towards Sei into a tight embrace.

Sei, though shocked in the beginning, returned the gesture and chuckled. "I like taking care of you, Sa-chan"

Sachiko suppressed a gasp. Those words were more than what she had hoped for.

---

Sei plopped herself on the bed, exhausted by the events that day. After Sachiko was able to get a hold of herself from her panic attack, Sei decided it would be best to get her out of school and take her straight to their mansion. Sachiko however, refused to go home immediately, and instead, insisted they play hooky, to Sei's shock.

_Sei-sama...let's go for a joy ride. Now that you have this ammonia with you, you don't have to worry about me getting dizzy. You can unleash your road rage as much as you want. _Sachiko said with an impish grin.

Sei stared at the ceiling recalling giddily what happened afterwards. They first attempted to find a countryside where Sachiko could get some fresh air, but instead ended up in an arcade that was relatively empty since it was a school day.

She fondly remembered how Sachiko's eyes gleamed upon seeing the amusement area as they drove by. "_You've never been inside one of those, have you?", _Sei inquired.

Sachiko merely shook her head and continued to gaze at the arcade.

"_Okay, looks like there's only a few people around. Let's go in"_

Like a kid in a candy shop, Sachiko couldn't decide which game to try first. Sei bought some tokens and guided her towards the "alien catchers". Failing to catch a single stuffed toy, Sei's mood turned dark and mildly kicked the machine, much to Sachiko's amusement. "_Sei-sama, I didn't realize you are a sore loser"_

"_Hmpf. Let's go for some ice-cream"_, Sei suggested, ignoring the younger girl's comment. They moved from one kiosk to another, from ice-cream to hot dogs then soda, whatever and wherever Sachiko's eyes landed with interest. Just like how she loves seeing Yumi's reactions, she couldn't help but baby Sachiko for her reactions as well, of which she had likened to a child on her first amusement ride. Yumi had told them before, much to Sachiko's ire of course, that her onee-sama once searched for cutlery in a fastfood burger chain. Now she understood Yumi's thrill every time she went on a date with Sachiko.

_A date..._Sei's thoughts drifted further, not with the actual events, but on Sachiko's demeanor. When her hair fell on her face, Sachiko would playfully brush it away. Sachiko, perhaps instinctively, held on to the belt loop of her jeans the whole time they walked together, and had occasionally use her other hand to touch Sei's arm.

Sei jolted up, broke her own reverie and found herself staring in the mirror. She looked very much confounded with her own thoughts. _Oh no you won't, Sei. _She shook her head over and over, as if that would shoo away the feelings evoked by today's events.

She groaned as she heard someone knocking on her door. She grimaced upon seeing Takanashi Azami. "What do you want?"

"You didn't come back to class after the drill. Where did you go?"

"None of your business. You can leave now", Sei said, while attempting to close the door.

Azami however, held the door and forcefully entered, throwing herself at Sei.

The blonde girl gently pushed her away. "Come on, Azami. Get a hint, will you?"

Azami however merely smiled seductively and caught Sei's lips with hers.

Sei pushed her this time with more force. "Azami!" She pushed the girl further towards the door.

Azami laughed and shouted before the door was slammed on her face. "Aww come on! Just this one time! You'll _love_ it"

Leaning against the door, Sei sighed heavily and held her tongue. _Count to ten. One..two...three...four..five..._

Sei heard footsteps walking away. _Thank you, lord. _She frowned as she heard another pair of footsteps, this time moving closer. And then a knock. Sei gripped her hands, then forcefully opened the door. "No, I do NOT want to have sex with...you". She turned pale, finding herself in front of Sachiko.

Sachiko's eyes widened, then blushed and avoided Sei's eyes. "I, uhm, I wanted to, uh...thank you for today...so I...I got you something". Still avoiding Sei's gaze, she held out a paper bag.

Sei silently took it and awkwardly invited Sachiko in. "Thanks for...wow...uhm...thank you, really...this is nice", she muttered after finally opening the bag.

Sachiko smiled. "I noticed you always bring a cup of coffee in school..."

Sei grinned at the coffee tumbler, holding it up for scrutiny. "It's perfect...thank you...again", she chuckled. Sachiko carried a rucksack with her, and this didn't go below Sei's radar. "Sa-chan...is everything alright?"

"I...was hoping you would...be charitable enough to lend me some space...for the night"

Without any question, Sei moved closer and carried Sachiko's bag. "I'll bring this to my room...make yourself comfortable", she said with a smile.

Sachiko explained while Sei went in her room and dropped Sachiko's bag on the bed. "I'm sorry for being a bother...my father's home...and I don't know why...but it feels like...like..."

Sei walked back and placed a hand on Sachiko's shoulder. "If you don't want to talk about it, don't force yourself...I'm not demanding for any explanation at all...except that I hope you have informed at least your mother that you would be here?"

The raven-haired girl nodded and bit her lip. "I...told her...you...invited me over"

Sei laughed. "Thanks for telling me that. Well, since you're here now, and it's a friday night, what do you want to do?"

Sachiko sat down in Sei's loveseat and smiled. "What do you normally do on a friday night?"

"Go clubbing and get wasted", the blonde one said with a straight face. "then I'd hit some cocaine as well".

She suddenly burst into laughter at the sight of Sachiko's face, blood seemed to have drained out of it. "Only kidding, Sa-chan! What do I do on a friday night? Stay home, order some food and watch movies on dvd"

Sachiko frowned but finally smiled after some time. "Pizza sounds good...so is a movie"

"Alright. I'll order now. Why don't you choose what movie you'd want to see?" Sei suggested, pointing out a drawer under her television set.

_---_

Sei couldn't concentrate on what the actors were saying-- something about saving the world and alien genetic manipulation. It was all Sachiko's fault. Right about the most important dialogues, she decided to lie down on Sei's lap and curl herself up while watching. Sei was caught in between wanting to know how America--again--will save the world, and stare at the outline of Sachiko's face.

_No, no, no, Sei. Bad, Sei. Bad. _Berating herself, Sei forced her head to focus on the TV screen, but found itself moving back slowly to Sachiko's direction. She closed her eyes and breathed in. _Watch the stupid movie. NOW. _Her face twitched, because the moment she opened her eyes, the protagonists--in a matter of life or death situation--decided to lock in a passionate kiss and then more. _Okay, so you could have developed a slight crush on her bu--_

"Sei-sama?", Sachiko whispered. "You've...kissed other people before, right?"

Sei was silent for a second, but eventually spoke. "Yes..."

"Okay...but...have you...uhm..."

Sei chuckled. "You're curious about my earlier hysterics..."

Sachiko sat up, forgetting the movie, and instead grinned at Sei.

Sei grinned back and shook her head. "She-who-shall-not-be-named came here and went nuts. Practically throwing herself at me. Ugh" Sei shivered at the thought.

Sachiko giggled. "I thought so"

Sei frowned. "Imagine the gall of that girl. Offering sex like it's just...Hell no she won't be my first"

Sachiko's eyebrows curiously arched.

"What? You think I'm the whore of Babylon?", Sei retorted.

"Of course not! Just...well..."

"You think I've done it with Shiori? And get the ire of Maria-sama? You have got to be kidding me. Future nun extraordinaire, losing her virginity to another girl. That would've taken me straight to hell". She sighed heavily, making Sachiko feel a pang of guilt.

Sei, however, spoke again. "Though looking back...I probably wanted to. I just had all these undefined feelings towards her, that I lumped them all together as, I suppose what I believe to be, love"

Sachiko was at a loss for words. She cursed herself for having brought up certain things that shouldn't be talked about. She blamed herself for her inexplainable curiosity about how Sei is in a relationship, and the intimate things she had already done.

The older girl noticed Sachiko's remorseful look, and chuckled. "You look at me like I haven't gotten over her"

"Have you?", Sachiko mumbled.

"No, not totally.", Sei said with a laugh. "But that doesn't mean I'm not okay talking about it with you...but just you, 'kay? Consider yourself privileged".

Sachiko smiled and sighed a sigh of relief. She glanced at the TV screen. Aliens dead, protagonists making out like there's no tomorrow. "Sei-sama?"

Sei smirked then closed her eyes. "Yes, kissing feels good, Sa-chan"

_How did she know?_ She blushed profusely.

Sei however held her finger and spoke with seeming wisdom. " But only if you care for that person. Otherwise, it's just saliva-swapping in my book"

Something, however, has taken over Sachiko. Something about those words that Sei uttered. "You care about me", she mumbled sheepishly.

Sei glanced at Sachiko nervously. Sachiko gazed at her without falter. She leaned closer and whispered. "And I care about you, too"

"Sa-chan..." Sei smiled with much tenderness. "I think it's time for us to rest"

Sachiko sat and smiled back. "I think so too"

That night, Sei insisted for Sachiko to use her bed, while she lay on a futon she had kept. But no matter how much she tried, her mind went haywire. Sei sat up and under the pale light from the moon, gazed at Sachiko's face. Bitterly, she forced herself to shut her eyes. _Sei, don't do this Just. Don't. . _


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This was originally two chapters, but I condensed it to one. So if it's too long for you, my apologies. I do tend to write this way once I get going. :)

---

Sei woke up ahead of Sachiko. Saturdays normally meant waking up when half of the day is already wasted, but not today for Sei, who barely slept in the first place. She crept out of the room quietly and slipped on her running clothes, but before doing so, Sei carefully placed a note beside a sleeping Sachiko.

The raven-haired girl on the other hand had never slept more peacefully. She woke up a few minutes after Sei left the apartment feeling recharged that one can only find after a deep slumber. Her normal grumpiness in the morning was non-existent, and a huge grin instead was plastered on her face as she read Sei's note.

_In case you wake up and I'm not yet here, don't turn the apartment inside out. I'm just buying some breakfast. _

_p.s. Coffee is ready and so is tea, in case you prefer the latter. _

She jerked her head however at the sound of door creaking. She smiled and got up, put on Sei's robe and left the room. "Sei--", she froze at the sight of Azami, who was equally shocked to see Sachiko coming out of Sei's room. "Uhm, she's not here right now", Sachiko muttered.

"This is interesting". Azami cocked her eyebrows. "Exactly what are you doing in Sei's room?"

Sachiko glanced down and felt her whole body blush. She understood the implications of her sleeping in Sei's room if left unexplained to other people. But why should she reason out? She doesn't owe anyone any explanation, not especially to this girl who had been aggravating Sei.

Sachiko glared at Azami and spoke. "What I do is none of your concern. Sei-sama isn't here right now. If you wish to speak with her, then I suggest you come back at a latter time"

"No thanks, I'm gonna sit here and wait"

"I have not been instructed by Sei-sama to let anyone enter. So please leave."

That was the last straw for Azami. She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "You know? Ever since you got in Lilian, Sei suddenly disappeared from our group. _Who _or _what_ exactly are you in Sei's life?"

Sachiko remained calm. Years of Ogasawara training kicked in. "Again, that is none of your concern", she said out flatly.

Azami sniggered, deciding to taunt a cool and collected Sachiko, she moved closer and asked. "You better make the most out of it, babe. If you don't know Sei by now, let me tell you this, she's the tease-them-then-leave-them type. I'm not the first one. You can go ask around the campus."

Sachiko kept a straight face and maintained eye contact, which only angered the other girl further. She turned her back on Sachiko and headed towards the door, but stopped a few inches away. She faced Sachiko again and smirked. "For all her bravado, she's actually really bad in bed. Tell me, was it also bad for you?"

Under normal circumstance, Sachiko would buckle up under aggressive types like the one in front of her. However, having Azami sling mud at Sei became too much for her. A smirk slowly crept out of her immaculate face, she narrowed her eyes and moved closer to Azami. "You want to know how it was last night?"

Azami stepped back, astonished at Sachiko's question. Her reaction however, encouraged Sachiko to move further. "I asked. If you want to know how it was last night. How was the sex, right? I'll tell you then"

Azami was left speechless. Sachiko's smirk turned into a victorious grin and then spoke in a deliberately low and husky tone. "Orgasmic".

Azami gasped and ran out of the apartment. Sachiko held a hand on her mouth and sat down, grimacing at her own action and words. _Oh my_. And then she giggled. _Reading Freud in psych class apparently has its uses. _Then she grimaced again. _What if Azami confronts Sei and quotes me verbatim?_ _Oh god, this is too embarrassing. _True to being out of character as of the moment, Sachiko began hitting her forehead with her palm repeatedly.

After a few minutes of self-flagellation, Sachiko heard the door open and turned pale at the sight of Sei with a bloody nose and disheveled paper bags on hand. "Sei-sama! What happened?" She ran towards Sei and carried the paper bags away from her then rushed to get ice and towel.

Sei looked completely out of it, absent-mindedly plopping herself on the loveseat. "I was about to enter the building, and that she-wolf slash banshee started screaming, then punched the lights out of me"

Sachiko gasped, dropping the ice on the floor. "I'm sorry, Sei-sama! This is all my fault!" She ran towards Sei and cried on the blonde girl's knees. Sei recovered from the earlier shock at the sound of Sachiko crying. She held Sachiko's shoulders. "Don't cry...sit beside me and tell me what happened"

Sachiko forced herself to stop crying. In between sobs, she managed to explain how Azami just entered the apartment and spoke ill of Sei.

Sei frowned. "I knew I forgot something", referring to the fact that she failed to lock the door. "So she said ill things about me...that's not new...what I want to know is...what exactly did you tell or do to her that made her lose all sensibilities"

Sachiko groaned inwardly. This was the part she dreaded, but seeing how serious Sei was, keeping the truth from her was not an option.

Sachiko held her breath, and guiltily stared at Sei. "She...she was...insinuating that we...I mean...she started talking about...how...bad you are...in...in...I knew she was telling a lie! Well...I mean...you said you haven't yet..." Sachiko fidgeted but continued. "I just...couldn't stand there...allowing her to...so I...I...told her that it wasn't true...I mean...oh god"

Sachiko covered her face with her hands. Sei remained silent, trying to make sense of the phrases.

Sachiko uttered something that came out muffled.

"What? Sa-chan?" Sei asked. "blah blah blah something ick?" Sei was on the verge of laughing despite the pain she felt. _What in the world happened here?_

Sachiko sat up, blushed then inhaled and exhaled. Sachiko spoke one more time, with more clarity. "That we had sex last night and it was orgasmic" She shut her eyes as tight as possible, wishing Sei would just simply disappear in front of her. _Why isn't she saying anything? Oh please, don't be mad. _

To her shock, Sei threw herself back on the couch and laughed as loudly as possible.

Sachiko looked at her with much confusion. "Sei-sama..."

"Sa-chan. I'm surprised...you even know...those words. And for them to come out of your mouth. So there's a little devil inside of you, after all", She replied in between fits of laughter.

"Sei-sama!" Sachiko frowned. "You're making fun of me"

Sei raised her hands up. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry"

"You're not mad?", Sahciko nervously asked.

Sei grinned and chuckled. "Mad? You got her hating me so much, I doubt if she'll ever want to see my face again. How can I get mad at you for getting rid of her?"

The raven-haird girl looked incredulously happy. She did something good for Sei and was well-appreciated, albeit unintentionally. She reached out and touched Sei's face, wiping off a blood smear, then caressed it gently. Sei's chuckles slowly died, her breath suddenly becoming erratic. Sachiko moved her head closer, maintaining eye and skin contact. Both, however, jolted when the phone rang. Sei immediately stood up and ran towards the phone, pausing to gather her sense before picking it up. "Satou Sei here"

"_Good you're awake_" Sei calmed down upon hearing the voice of Youko. "_I had this nagging feeling you would forget our lunch today. Where do you want to eat?_"

"I'm just about to have breakfast, and you're already talking lunch" She glanced at Sachiko and chuckled. "Always thinking ahead, Youko"

Sachiko raised her eyebrows and grinned.

Youko laughed. "_I won't be like this, if you haven't stood me up in the past, Sei_"

"Yeah, yeah. It happened once, or twice. Oh fine. Five times. How about our usual? Great. I'll bring Sa-chan. Yeah she's here. Why? Err..you better ask her... You wanna talk to her? 'kay". Sachiko walked towards the phone and took the receiver from Sei. "I'm gonna take a shower, while you two talk", she said, walking away from Sachiko. _I definitely need a shower. _

---

Youko looked horrified at Sei's bruised nose. "That witch. You can sue her, you know", she finally said after Sei explained what Azami did, embellishing a little to leave out Sachiko's part from the story, which was basically the center of it.

Sei laughed. "Don't work yourself up over it. Attorney Youko. I have a feeling she'll be staying away from me now", she said, refusing to look at Sachiko, which if she did will only make Youko suspicious and probe further. It'll be far too embarrassing for Sachiko, and she was grateful Sei knew it too.

Sei forcefully swallowed her food and stood up. "Hold on, I see a cousin". She ran out of the restaurant leaving the two former Rosa Chinensis alone. Sachiko giggled at Sei bear-hugging her cousin and what appeared to be a niece. Youko, however, stared at Sachiko with curiosity.

"Sachiko? Are you in love with Sei?" Youko blurted out. Sachiko was stunned at the question. Though a very forward question was already expected from her onee-sama, she just didn't expect this particular one.

"Onee-sama, that's ridi--"

"Is it? Okay, maybe you're not in love" Youko replied, with a hint of amusement. "But every time I call to check on you, there's only one subject of conversation at your end. Sei-sama did this, Sei-sama said this. Sei-sama and I went to this place. I doubt if you've ever spoken about me that way. Sounds to me that you're infatuated with her"

Sachiko scowled at Youko's imitation of her, though it seems that her onee-sama defined exactly her feelings towards Sei--a word that became elusive every time she tried to analyze it--infatuation.

Youko took her petite sœur's silence as an affirmation, and suddenly looked worried. "Sachiko...you're hurt and confused by your situation with Suguru...and...I don't know how Sei feels about you...but I'm worried that you might be misinterpreting her actions as a sign of--"

"Sei-sama cares about me, onee-sama!" Sachiko exclaimed, causing Youko to wince a bit. "She said...she likes taking care of me"

Youko closed her eyes, feeling despondence at her petite sœur's vulnerability. "Did she tell you how she feels about you?"

Sachiko was agitated. She ignored her onee-sama's reactions and continued to speak. "She goes out of her way to make sure I'm alright...she sacrifices her own time and space...she talks to me about how she feels for Shiori!"

Youko's stared at Sachiko with incredulity. "She talks to you about Shiori?"

"Yes", Sachiko nodded, finally controlling her nerves. "She said it was alright to talk about her...but only with me...no one else"

_That's true, _Youko thought. _Sei forced herself to speak about the events with Yumi because of the whole novel fiasco, but not exactly how she felt about it then, and most especially now. And to talk about it with Sachiko...Sei...what's going on?_

Feeling triumphant, Sachiko became bolder, eager to prove that she has not misinterpreted Sei for one bit. She whispered, "Onee-sama, we almost kissed..."

Youko gasped. _Sei...what're you doing? You'll both end up getting hurt..._"Sachiko...Sei is my best friend, and you are my petite sœur...I don't want to see any of you--"

"Why so serious?" Sei interrupted, returning to her seat.

Youko and Sachiko nervously looked at each other, causing Sei to frown and suddenly feel uncomfortable. _What the hell were they talking about? _

Youko decided to salvage the situation. "Sachiko was reporting me to, Sei. And I found out you've been cutting your classes", she said with a smirk.

Sei chuckled. "Guilty as charged. But there's an accomplice", turning her head to Sachiko's direction.

Sachiko blushed. Youko wagged her finger. "Tsk, Sachiko. You forgot _that_ part"

Situation returned to normalcy, and the three ended up eating lunch longer than they planned.

Sei and Sachiko eventually parted with Youko, who signaled sneakily to her best friend to call her later.

Sei drove Sachiko home to the Ogasawara mansion, noticing how grim the younger girl looked. "Sa-chan?", she said, keeping her eyes on the road, "why do you look so sad? Did Youko say something to you?

Sachiko shook her head. "I don't know how many people feel trapped in their own homes...but I do...everyday I dread the sunset...because that means I'll be back there"

Sei took her hand and held it tight, "But Sa-chan...sunsets are beautiful...I like them a lot...because it means I'll have my tomorrow again to spend with you"

If it was possible for one person's heart to stop beating and still feel so alive, that would be Sachiko's case. She stood on their mansion's balcony, minutes after Sei dropped her off, and stared at the setting sun.

"It _is_ beautiful..."

---

"_You better rethink what you have been doing and saying to Sachiko"_

"The hell? First you get all giddy that I'm looking out for her. And now that I like it..."

"_Sachiko's confused with her life, Sei. Don't put ideas in her head especially if you're not sincere about them"_

"Ideas?!"

"_Sei...Sachiko's...infatuated with you...She also believes you have romantic feelings for her"_

"..."

"_Sei?"_

"_..."_

"_Sei. Is she right? Does she actually have a basis for thinking that way? She claims you two almost kissed"_

"I've been fighting it, Youko. I never wanted it. And I'm beginning to hate myself because I can't seem to stop it. I've been saying things that I never thought I was capable of saying. I cringe at my own mushiness but it makes her smile, and worse, I actually mean those words. I can't stand seeing her sad, Youko. It hurts a lot."

"_Sei...I'm sorry..."_

"It's not your fault. I allowed myself to be this close to someone again. I don't understand it when she's not even remotely similar to Shiori"

"_Maybe that's why you unwittingly let her crawl under your skin. You thought you were walking on a safe territory"_

"I guess..."

"_Please don't stay away from her"_

"What?! I thought you wanted me to--"

"_Rethink things. I didn't tell you to stay away from her, you idiot. It's too late for that. Now that you know she also has feelings for you, if you leave her in this predicament, do you understand what that will do to her?"_

"...it will break her...like how it broke me before..."

"_And you as well will be broken again...I'm sorry that two of the people I love most are in this situation...that's why I'm asking you to reevaluate how you've been behaving towards her. You need to decide, Sei. Either you fight it completely and just be friends or take the plunge. If you do decide to go with the former, do it gently, you know how fragile she is. It may seem to you that I'm more worried about her than what this will do to you, but maybe I am and I know it's unfair. But please don't entertain the thought of dropping her like a hot potato"_

"Leaving was never an option, Youko. Not even if you begged me to. Over my dead body"

"_Don't say that. I think my petite sœur would prefer to touch your body very much alive and warm"_

"Shut it, Youko"

"_Let me know if sex is really as good as they say"_

"Oh-kay. Wash your mouth and go to confession now. Conversation over. Bye bye"

Sachiko could still hear Youko's snigger as she put down the phone. She ran her fingers through her hair and pulled it, out of frustration. _The ball is in my hands, it seems. _

_---_

_First, you fell in love with someone who was about to get married with the convent. Now, you've fallen in love with the future wife of the devil himself. Satou Sei, you are a complete fool. _

Sei casted a dark look from the second floor of the Arts and Letters building. Suguru was in Lillian University and had kissed Sachiko on the cheek then hand for all the world to some reason, Youko didn't seem to put much weight on Sachiko's impending marriage to Suguru in their conversation. Having seen this however, Sei realized how twisted the situation can stepped back from the ledge and walked away.

"Suguru-san!" Sachiko gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.

"Calm down, Sa-chan", Suguru smirked. "I did that for _you_. I have heard rumors going around about you having an...illicit affair...with a certain popular blonde woman. This should keep the gossip mill to slow down its operations for the time being. I hope you keep your indiscretions to yourself, Sa-chan. I do not wish to be seen in the future as an inadequate husband", he chuckled after.

Sachiko froze. "I am _not_ having an affair with--"

Suguru merely laughed. "Sa-chan, are you forgetting who you are speaking with? I am the last person to make judgments over you and Sei. As your fiance however, I have to protect both of us. Consider what I did as part of my obligations. A thank you is not necessary" He bowed then kissed Sachiko's hand once more before he walked away.

Sachiko heard some people around her sigh wistfully, while others started whispering about Sei and her apparently are just friends. Whatever the reaction was, Sachiko was sure that those who held admiration for Sei didn't even attempt to conceal their glee at the knowledge that she was in fact, very much available. All that Sachiko felt, however, was that she was thankful Sei wasn't around when Suguru showed up.

Sachiko wandered around the school, searching for Sei. She arched her eyebrows then walked towards a frowning Sei, immersed in a book she was reading. Sei was sitting on the grass and had used a tree as a backrest. "Such a studious person", Sachiko said.

Sei grinned then dropped the book on her lap. "By that you mean, Sei-sama is probably cramming again"

Laughing as an affirmation, Sachiko sat next to Sei and whisked the book away from Sei. "Divina Comedia", she muttered, "sounds really heavy"

Sei sighed. "I'm not really into medieval litera--"

"Sei-chan", a husky voice came out of nowhere. Sachiko turned to face the direction of that sultry voice and saw, what she surmised as, an upper classman.

Sei stood up and slightly bowed her head. "Hideyo-sama. I see you're already back from Italy. How was your research?"

The older woman smiled. "Beyond satisfactory. I found a lot of work on Dante's Divina Comedia that will be of much use for me. Unfortunately, that would mean more work for you too, Sei-chan"

Sachiko observed quietly the woman in front of her. She was stunning beyond words, even prettier than Sei. She also carried so much confidence in her, though not to the point of overwhelming. She looked very Bohemian and carried it well. Hideyo glanced at Sachiko and extended a hand. "Freshman? I believe we haven't met. I'm Ishimura Hideyo. And you are.."

"Ogasawara Sachiko", she replied, slightly bowing her head and shook Hideyo's hand.

"Ogasawara? It's an honor to have met your acquaintance. Your family is certainly well respected. I can see very much why" Hideyo spoke, with so much sincerity in her voice. She smiled at Sei. "Sei-chan is my research assistant. You will soon find yourself in that position too, Sachiko-chan"

Hideyo stared at Sei. "Okay, Sachiko-chan. As I was saying, I don't know if Sei here has been a responsible sophomore, explaining the research system here to you, rather than just flashing her irresistibly cute smile"

It was Sei's turn to blush. It was as well, the first time Sachiko saw her react that way.

The upper classman continued speaking. "Whatever is your chosen majors, upper classmen who chose to be on the thesis honors track, will be tasked to find a research assistant among the freshmen based on their academic performance. It means more work load, but it can be seen as an achievement as well, right Sei-chan?"

"So, Sei-sama...", Sachiko muttered questioningly.

"Had outperformed her peers from the start. You do know she had won several literary awards already, right? It was quite a scramble among my batch mates to get her, mind you. I'm just so happy that among all those who offered all kinds of goodies and privileges, Sei-chan refused all of them and instead chose me. And I didn't offer her even a single cup of coffee" She ruffled Sei's hair and chuckled.

Sei turned crimson red and glanced at Sachiko, who in return gazed at her admiringly.

Hideyo moved her attention from Sei to Sachiko and then back. She smirked and patted Sei's back. "I didn't realize I was interrupting something. My apologies, Sei-chan, Sachiko-san. I shall get going, but Sei-chan, please drop by later at the Literature club's office"

"Yes, Hideyo-sama. I will see you before I head home", Sei replied then blushed again.

Sachiko sighed inwardly at Sei's demeanor. She felt annoyance over Hideyo, though immediately changed into guilt for the girl had not done anything wrong to her nor Sei. She recognized her feelings towards Hideyo as jealousy. Sei has never reacted that way towards her, but it seems, she will break in heaven's gate with one snap of Hideyo's fingers. More importantly, how could Sei fail to mention something as important as this? A research assistant? Excellent academic performance? Writing awards?

"Don't believe a single thing Hideyo-sama said, Sa-chan", Sei grinned. "I won ONE writing award, and it was school-based. She's a fiction writer through and through"

"But why would she choose you then?"

Sei shrugged. "I suppose, the same reason why onee-sama chose me. I'm different and a challenge to deal with. That's why I don't put too much premium on being her research assistant"

"She seems to really have much confidence in you though..."

Sei smiled then blushed. "She's...how she described me to you...that's her...she's the one who had consistently topped her class...and had won several writing awards, national-based, since she was in high school. I've read all her work... So when she asked me to be her assistant...I didn't have time to even question her decision...I just went for it"

Sachiko forced a smile. "You really admire her, don't you Sei-sama?"

"Yeah..." Sei replied wistfully, but then snapped out of it, looking horrified. "I mean because she really writes well...errr...we should get going..." Sei started to walk away quickly towards the parking lot until Sachiko spoke. "Sei-sama, isn't the Literature club that way?"

Sei scratched her head then grinned. "You're right. I hoped that we would conveniently forget about that. Do you want to go with me or just wait here?"

"Oh, you'll drive me back home?" Sachiko smiled.

"Didn't I tell you? Well, now you know. I might even have dinner at your place if you ask me nicely"

Sachiko laughed then held Sei's arm. "Fine, I'm asking nicely. Why don't you have dinner with me at home, Sei-sama?"

"Weeeelll....If you insist, Sa-chan", she replied.

"Sei-sama, I'm just wondering. About the part on upper classmen scrambling to get you as their research assistant, was that Hideyo-sama, or is that really you?"

"Well, uhm, you see..." Sei stammered. Before she could construct her sentence, Sachiko and Sei walked past several older students lounging outside the literature club office.

"Sei! How are you?", said one student. Another one went near them and kissed Sei's cheek. "Aren't you just the cutest?" A third student walked by and commented, "Ah, there you are Sei. Now I can smile". The last one hugged Sei from the back and said while chuckling, "Why don't you ditch Hideyo and be mine? You broke my heart when you accepted her offer, you know". Sei looked very much like a rag doll being passed on from one girl to another, and Sachiko couldn't help but giggle at the blonde girl's mortified expression directed to her.

The door from the office opened and Hideyo came out with a smug look on her face. "I knew you're already here Sei-chan. I swear I heard collective swooning" Then she pointed a finger on the others. "For shame, acting like fangirls" All the upper classmen laughed and made several comments about Hideyo seducing Sei, and that's the only reason Sei accepted her "indecent proposal".

Hideyo shook her head and glanced at Sachiko. "Ladies, don't be so crude in front of Sachiko-chan. She's a freshman and from..." She whispered at Sachiko, "what department are you from?"

"Uhm, Business Management", she whispered back.

Hideyo nodded, "From the School of Business Management". Everyone introduced themselves, and began convincing Sachiko to shift to the Literature department instead of sticking with those "stiff money-makers". Before she could even answer, Hideyo took control over the situation and tugged both Sei and Sachiko inside the office.

"Oh, Sei isn't enough for you, I see? Such an insatiable appetite for the pretty young ones, Hideyo" One of the students commented in jest, while the others laughingly agreed.

Hideyo made one final retort before slamming the door behind them. "Eat your hearts out, you perverts" She turned to Sachiko and grinned. "I'm sorry about that, though seeing that you and Sei-chan are close, you should get used to the lit students' crass humor. It seems to be part of the our department's requirements for applicants. Except Sei-chan of course." She said with a grin. "Sei-chan is our muse. Her very presence inspires poets and prose writers alike"

Sei grimaced, still very much mortified that Sachiko had to witness all of this. Sachiko felt helpless and could only offer a reassuring smile.

"The reviews you submitted to me last month were beautifully done, Sei-chan. I don't know how i'd manage without you".

Sei blushed at her pseudo mentor's compliment much to Sachiko's concealed annoyance.

Hideyo picked up a pile of papers and handed it over to Sei. "Can you work on the annotated bibliographies and give it back to me by next week?"

Sei took the files and nodded. "I'll have this done by friday, so you can review them over the weekend"

Hideyo smiled at Sei proudly, then spoke to Sachiko. "She's amazing, isn't she?"

It was Sachiko's turn to blush, then nodded, which made Hideyo laugh. "Ahh...the exquisite nuances of a budding romance"

Sei's eyes bulged at Hideyo's comment but opted not to say anything about it. "Uhm, Hideyo-sama, if there's nothing else..."

Hideyo smirked. "I know, I know. I'm beginning to be the thorn on your path to Sachiko-chan's heart."

"Hideyo-sama!" Sei protested but was dismissed by the older girl.

"Get out and don't show your face to me till friday, Sei-chan. Go forth and make sweet love", she walked away dramatically and waved at the two younger girls who found themselves staring into space.

"Uhm..." Sei finally managed to speak. "Let's go, Sa-chan"

Sachiko glanced at Sei nervously. "Yes, i think we should...as fast as we can, away from here"

---

Both girls remained silent through out the trip until Sachiko broke into fits of giggle. Sei frowned, "What? What're you giggling at?"

Sachiko giggled some more. "Wait till Yumi hears about how you're in the receiving end of other people's teasing. She will die laughing"

Sei contorted her mouth and frowned once more. "That's not funny"

"Yes, it is", Sachiko insisted. "It's not everyday that I see you being treated like a plaything"

Sei groaned. "What will it take for you not to tell Yumi-chan about this?"

"I'm sorry, Sei-sama. This is much too priceless not to share with my petite sœur"

Sei sighed and gave up. "Fine, tell the whole world. See if I care"

Sachiko grinned. "Please don't be mad at me, Sei-sama"

"I can't get mad at you, even if I try", she replied smiling.

The two talked about Sei's apparent cult status in the lit department, and how the blonde one used to run away, pretty much like Yumi. One point left untouched was Hideyo's last comments about the two of them, though it was both on their minds through out the trip. Sei, however, heard Youko's voice in her head, nagging her. _You need to decide, Sei. _

_I know, Youko. I know. _

_---_


	5. Chapter 5

The whole week, Sachiko was already feeling withdrawal symptoms due to Sei's work load. She missed Sei badly, but could find no reason to impose seeing each other. To be fair, Sei made it a point to see Sachiko at least once a day in school, but even lunch was not sacred, Sei would be able to eat with her for the most 30 minutes and then head to the library. Sachiko realized instead of sulking, she would work quietly with Sei. She doesn't need words, just her presence was more than enough. And so Friday came and Sachiko found Sei at the exact spot before, under a tree and reading the pile of papers Hideyo gave her. Sachiko smiled upon seeing Sei use the coffee tumbler she had given her. "Sa-chan", Sei said, grinning.

"Don't mind me, Sei-sama", the other girl replied. "I know you're busy" She brought out her notebook and started to write notes in it, leaning dangerously close to Sei. A gust of wind blew Sei's hair in Sachiko's side, touching the raven-haired girl's neck. She looked at Sei intently who was immersed in her reading. Sachiko reached out for Sei's blonde locks and started stroking it. "It's getting longer...", she remarked in a hushed tone.

Sei looked up and glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah...It's been a while since I had it at this length. You don't...like it?"

"I do...", Sachiko gushed.

Sei smiled. "Okay...good to know". Both resumed to working, though Sachiko kept stealing glances at Sei-- an act that was not left unnoticed by the latter. She constrained herself from grinning, but deep down, Sei's stomach has been doing some death-defying acrobatics.

_You need to decide, Sei. _

Sei frowned upon hearing Youko's nagging again in her mind. _That woman sure has mastered the art of meddling. _

"Sei-sama? Are you alright? You look...annoyed"

_At your onee-sama, that's for sure. _"Erm, no...I just can't understand what I'm reading, that's all" She forced a grin to reassure Sachiko.

"Okay", Sachiko replied. "Uhm...Sei-sama? Can I...stay over...at your place tonight?"

Sei looked up and smiled sympathetically. "Your father will be home again?"

"And my grandfather", she replied sadly.

Sei nodded. "You're always welcome at my home, Sa-chan. There's no need to ask, and you don't need to have reasons either. Whenever you feel like it, my door's open for you"

---

Sachiko nervously stood in front of Sei's apartment with pizza and ice cream. She rang the bell for the second time, and could hear muffled footsteps running towards the door. "Who is it?"

"Ah, Sei-sama, it's--"

Sei opened the door enthusiastically and exclaimed, "Sa-chan! Sorry, I was in the shower."

Sachiko glanced at Sei and blushed at what she saw. Sei was wearing a girl's boxer shorts and a wife beater tank top, her hair was still wet and smelled really good. The older girl however seemed oblivious at the effect she had on Sachiko. She took the pizza, ice cream and Sachiko's duffle bag from her and placed them on top of the kitchen table. "I wasn't expecting you to be here at this hour", she said with a chuckle, "I thought I had time to set things up, first"

Sachiko looked puzzled. "Set what up?'

"Wii!" Sei exclaimed putting both her hands up in the air.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Sei looked at the younger girl with astonishment. "Wii, you know, game console. Best thing since slice bread? Ah, you'll know in a bit. Why don't you go change in the room while I set it up"

Sachiko smiled then shook her head, observing as Sei slumped on the floor and opened a box.

When Sachiko returned, Sei was standing in front of her television and grinned like a mad dog. "I bring you the most beautiful contraption known to man. Nintendo Wii" She handed Sachiko a controller, which the younger girl scrutinized with much intensity. "Uhm, what am I suppose to do with this?"

"Just you wait", Sei said as she pressed the menu and chose a game.

After a few tries, Sachiko finally got the hang of it, and in fact was beating Sei in every game. Surprisingly, Sei didn't grumble and scowl as Sachiko expected. "I thought you were a sore loser, Sei-sama?, she teased, "aren't you going to kick this machine too?"

"Oh at the arcade? I wanted so bad to get you one of those plushy toys, that's why I got annoyed", she said nonchalantly, as she walked towards the tv and turned off the game console.

Sachiko's teasing backfired, and found herself warm all over.

Sei sat down, opened the pizza box and took a big chunk out of a slice. Sachiko sat down in front of her and laughed. "You love pizza, don't you?"

"Yes, and you know what's good with this?" She stood up and ran towards her kitchen. "Here you go. Cheap Australian wine", she said grinning while handed over a plastic cup to Sachiko. "As you can see, I am very much an efficient person. Eat, drink and throw everything else away", she said as she poured some red wine on Sachiko's cup.

"Either that, or you're extremely lazy, Sei-sama", Sachiko teased again.

"Sa-chan, Sa-chan. You still have a lot to learn about the ways of living", she raised her cup and took a sip. "I'm good for a second round of games now" She hesitated to stand though and spoke to Sachiko. "Are you getting bored? You're...having fun right? "

"Always when I'm with you...", Sachiko blushed.

It wasn't the wine. Definitely not the wine. Sei drank a small amount of it and certainly had no effect on her reasoning. But the moment Sachiko said that, and a hint of color became visible on her cheek, Sei found herself crawling near the younger girl. Eventually, she sat next to Sachiko, a few centimeters apart, and began stroking her hair. Sachiko didn't move and barely breathed.

"I'm afraid, Sa-chan" Sei mumbled.

Sachiko met Sei's eyes and whispered. "Of what?"

A tiny smile escaped Sei's lips, as she continued to touch Sachiko's hair and gaze at her. "Of so many things...but right now...I'm afraid that...your first kiss won't be as good as you've imagined it to be" She cupped Sachiko's face and moved their heads closer to each other.

Sachiko closed her eyes and placed her hands on Sei's shoulders. She suddenly felt warm, soft lips gently pressing hers. Sachiko felt lightheaded; strange, but good, sensations ran all over body, and all her other senses have left her. What seemed like time standing still was in fact only few minutes of chaste kisses. Sei didn't want to push it, lest they regret things early on, despite her whole body screaming for more. She broke the kiss slowly, allowing them to savor the closeness, of feeling each other's breaths touching their faces like feathers. Sei opened her eyes, anxious to see Sachiko's reaction. The younger girl still had her eyes closed and her breathing was still erratic. "Amazing...", she whispered under her breath.

Sei's eyes brightened up and grinned. She gave Sachiko a quick kiss, and hugged her tight. Sachiko sighed and hugged Sei back. "What else are you afraid of? Maybe I can make it go away", Sachiko said with so much care and concern in her voice. Her thoughts trailed on Shiori, how Sei looked so miserable when she left.

Sei smiled and held Sachiko's face. "I can't tell you...they all ran away a few minutes ago"

"They're scared of me, then", Sachiko grinned.

Sei laughed, her cheeks already hurt from too much smiling that night, but she wouldn't have it any other way.

It was almost midnight when the two decided to rest after hours of talking and laughing. Sachiko lay on Sei's bed shifting her body on one side, towards Sei's direction, who was inches below her, on the futon. Sachiko reached out for Sei's hand, held it and let it rest on the bed and gently ran her fingers on it. "What's on your mind, Sa-chan?"

"I'm thinking...that I'm in a happy place right now...how I got here...I never imagined myself to even be capable of feeling this...but now I can barely contain it"

"That's a lot in your mind"

Sachiko chuckled. "I still can't believe Suguru-san was right..."

Mention that name and a scowl will definitely appear on Sei's face. She sat up and grimly asked, "When was that boy ever right on anything?"

Sachiko laughed and pulled Sei closer, allowing the latter to rest her chin and arms on the bed. Sachiko brushed away the hair that fell on Sei's face and spoke. "He saw through me early on...that I was already developing more than platonic feelings towards you..."

"No wonder", Sei interjected. "He kissed you in front of a sea of humanity because he knows that will irk me"

It was Sachiko's turn to sit up and scoot closer to Sei. "You saw that? I was shocked myself...and if he hadn't explained quickly, I would've slapped his face right then and there"

Sei smiled at the thought. She had seen Sachiko do it before and would very much sell her soul to the devil just to witness something like that again. Sachiko leaned over and kissed Sei's cheek. "Apparently...a certain....gossip reached Suguru-san...god knows how far his network goes..."

"So?" Sei frowned and pouted.

Sachiko spoke, with every word accompanied by light kisses on Sei's face. "So..he..deliberately...did...that...to...stop...the...rumors...from...spreading..." Her kiss landed on Sei's lips with the last word. "Suguru-san is on our side, Sei-sama...in every sense of the word"

Sei's eyes grew big. "You mean..." Sachiko nodded. Sei could barely control her snigger. "That minx...I knew something was up with him..."

Sachiko chuckled, then slowly looked desolate. "That doesn't mean though that...our engagement...I mean...it's not like we can tell the wor--"

Sei pressed a finger on Sachiko's lips. Putting on a brave face, Sei forced a smile, "Don't ruin your night thinking about that...We'll...worry about it...when we have to...but we don't need to right now, Sa-chan"

"Please tell me everything will be alright, Sei-sama. Promise me...", Sachiko whispered in a desperate voice.

Sei hesitated. She wanted so much to reassure Sachiko, to say those words, but she could not, in her conscience give Sachiko huge promises that might get broken. She has never felt so unsure in her life. She didn't know if they would be alright when faced with problems like that. Sei wasn't even sure if things will be okay when they wake up tomorrow. She laced her fingers on Sachiko's hand, who looked so anxious, waiting for Sei's answer. "Sa-chan...I can only give you one promise that I am certain will never be broken...I won't ever leave you...Even if circumstances would force us to be apart...I'll be steadfastly waiting for your return"

Sachiko nearly leapt at Sei and hugged her tight and started crying. Sei patted Sachiko's head. "Now, look at what you've done, Sei. You made Sa-chan cry", she mumbled, berating herself for Sachiko to hear.

Sachiko chuckled in between sobs. "Yes, you're very mean, Sei-sama"

"Err...can we move away from calling me that? Now it really makes me feel like I'm a dirty old man"

Sachiko laughed hard. "Alright, Sei...san?"

Sei grinned. "Better" She glanced at the clock. "Oi, it's almost one a.m, we need to rest.."

"Are we seeing my onee-sama for lunch?"

_Let me know if sex is really as good as they say. _Sei frowned as Youko's sniggering voice popped in her head. "Until I can contain myself from turning into goo whenever you smile and gaze at me, I won't be ready to face her. Her teasing and innuendos will be endless"

Sachiko giggled. "My thoughts exactly"

Sei grinned. "It's settled then, tomorrow will be a Youko-free day"

"Can we make it a just-the-two-of-us day, too?", Sachiko smiled demurely.

Sei sighed a sigh a contentment. "How can I say no to a smile like that?"

---

Sachiko woke up alone, with a post-it on her forehead.

_Will be back , just need to fix some things. Breakfast is in the kitchen. Take a shower and get dressed asap. p.s when I say get dressed, I mean jeans and shirt. Love, Sei. _

"Love...Sei..." Sachiko read those words, smiled and bit her lip. "Love, Sei" She closed her eyes and replayed in her head the first time Sei kissed her.

She turned to look at the empty futon, and smiled. Sei insisted to still sleep on it instead of beside Sachiko. People have always treated her differently. Sachiko has seen men, in her father's parties, look at her with so much brute desire that it had made her feel dirty and used, just by being stared at. Sei had her in a spell, could have gone further without any form of protest on her side, and yet Sei treated her like a delicate glass in her arms without making it seem patronizing.

She held the note again and chuckled. Smacking it back on her forehead, she stood up and walked towards the kitchen, ate quickly and went in the shower. Right after fixing herself up, Sei returned with two motorcycle half helmets on hand. "Perfect timing, Sa-chan"

"Should I dare ask why you have those helmets with you, Sei-san?", Sachiko walked towards Sei and gave her a kiss.

Sei handed one helmet to Sachiko and stuck out her tongue "You make it sound like I plan to break the law. Scooter riding is perfectly legal in this country"

"They haven't taken your mad driving skills into account when they legalized it", Sachiko chuckled.

Sei feigned being slighted by Sachiko's retort, but deep down, she was in fact thrilled that the girl has really lightened up—a far cry from the Sachiko she first knew back in high school. "Ready?"

Sachiko frowned. "This should have been an obvious question, but...when did you start owning a scooter?"

"Today"

Sachikos mouth was left open for a few seconds. "You went out...to buy a scooter"

Sei chuckled. "Got you"

"Oh, you just like doing that, don't you?", Sachiko playfully pushed Sei away from her.

"I borrowed one from a friend...I thought it would be nice to _finally_ go around the county side. No pit stops to arcades and such, okay?"

"No pit stops", Sachiko swore, holding her palm up.

Sachiko stood in front a peculiar looking scooter.

"Moped with a roof", Sei chuckled. "This should keep you protected, in case it rains. Plus the backrest would be really comfortable for you" Sei said, placing a picnic bag inside the seat.

Sachiko grinned, but looked at the scooter with much hesitance.

"You're really scared of my driving, aren't you? I can bring this back and we'll just--"

"No!" Sachiko panicked. "I just...I have not been on a scooter before...so I'm a little scared of the idea itself...but I want to try it"

Sei smiled then took the helmet from the younger girl's hand and gently fixed it on her head. "Let's drive around the block, and then if you don't like it, we'll do something else, okay?"

---

Sachiko held on to Sei tightly as they exited the urban district, not because Sei was being reckless. On the contrary, the normally maniacal driver was at her best behavior. Sachiko held on to Sei for the very simple reason that it felt good to be that close to her while the wind gushed on her face. Sachiko never understood the meaning of the word carefree, until now.

Once they have reached the countryside, Sachiko, to Sei's surprise, slowly removed her helmet, and let the wind fully touch her face. She rested her chin on Sei's shoulder and gave the older girl a slight kiss on the neck. "I love you, Sei-san!", she shouted for all the local people walking at the side of the road, to hear, "I love you so much!"

Sei began to laugh, pleasantly astonished at Sachiko's uncharacteristic spontaneity. She slowed down and stopped, the moment they reached an area with nothing but trees and a brook. She removed her helmet and turned to face Sachiko. "I love you too, Sa-chan". Sei said and kissed the younger girl. Sachiko felt her heart contract at the increasing intensity of their kisses. She thought to herself, _This is it. This is what I want for the rest of my life. _

---

A/N: Since this is fan fiction, we can make Sachiko defy laws, for all I care. But you, kids, on the other hand, never ride motorcycles without helmets haha :)


	6. Chapter 6

Sei spread herself on the grass, prompting Sachiko to sit down next to her, eyeing the older girl's features. From her angle, Sei's facial bone structure became so prominent. Her family's provenance was always a sensitive issue, so sensitive that Sachiko has heard from Youko, Sei got into a fight with Eriko when the latter called her "American" during their younger days. Sachiko however knew that Sei marches to her own beat, and takes things at a certain pace. Disturb that rhythm, and her reaction would be to scamper away, only to come back with an impenetrable mask. At least that's what Youko told her before within the first few weeks of college. She didn't want to risk talking about Sei's family, or their background. That didn't matter anyway to Sachiko; she's in love with this person, this girl with a western face, and is getting addicted to staring at it.

Though her eyes were closed, Sei felt Sachiko's intense gaze. She lifted her head up and peered closely at Sachiko's face. "See something you like?", she asked with a grin.

"No, I see something that I love", Sachiko remarked in return, touching Sei's brushing Sei's cheek.

"Ah-hah! You're a fast learner. Taking my lines, I see"

Sachiko chuckled and held Sei's face. "No, honestly, I really love this face that everyone else seems to be crazy in love with, too"

Sei made a low guttural sound, which only made Sachiko laugh. "Can't blame them, you are extraordinarily attractive"

"_extraordinarily_ attractive, huh?'

"Yes...and...all your fangirls can die of envy, because you're mine "

Sei laughed. "Fangirls?"

Sachiko pinched Sei's nose. "Yeah, you must have a dozen or so. It doesn't help that you're a flirt and a half"

The older girl feigned innocence and exclaimed. "What?! I am _not_ a flirt"

"Uh-huh, tell that to those freshmen you accompanied during orientation week". Sachiko raised a finger and smirked at Sei. "Rock star of Lillian University"

"As opposed to your goddess-like status?"

"I look like my mother...that makes me part of the homely category"

Sei had a pensive expression. "Naw, that makes you the younger and more desirable version of her"

"And you wonder _why_ I'm a fast learner. I have a good teacher."

Sei smiled, though her eyes seem to be focused somewhere else.

"What are you thinking, Sei-san?"

"Something that Hideyo-sama said about lo--"

"You're thinking about Hideyo-sama?"

"No...I was thinking about _something_ she said"

Sachiko sat up indignantly. "It's the same thing. You think about what she said, and obviously you'd be thinking about her too"

Sei groaned and sat up as well. "That's not true. Why are you even making this an issue?"

"Because". Sachiko scowled and glared at Sei. "You have a huge crush on her"

"Says who?", Sei snapped.

"It's as clear as the sky, Sei-san. You blush every time she compliments you"

"That's because I really admire her as a--"

"See? You _admire_ her"

Sei stared at Sachiko with incredulity and mumbled flatly. "Admire and crush are two different things. Yumi-chan admires you and--"

"Don't even dare compare Yumi to Hideyo-sama"

"Can't you even let me finish my sentence?!", Sei exclaimed, causing Sachiko to wince a bit. Sei rolled her eyes and sighed exaggeratedly. "Sachiko", she said firmly. "You're being childish about this"

"Oh, so now, I'm Sachiko again"

Sei had an amused expression on her face. "I do _not_ have a crush on Hideyo-sama. I _don't _have any romantic feelings for her, never had, and never will."

Sachiko said nothing but continued to glare at Sei who scooted closer. "She's much too quirky and sociable for me anyway. I prefer someone who has a chip on her shoulder and has worse people skills than me", Sei said, nudging Sachiko a bit and grinned.

When Sachiko still refused to reply and instead turned away, Sei kissed her jaw line. "Sa-chan, are we gonna ruin the day because of this?", she asked, and then proceeded to gently kiss Sachiko's neck.

Sachiko pursed her lips and glanced at Sei, remorseful of her petulance. "No...", she said softly.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you...I just didn't know where that attack came from"

"I'm sorry too..."

"I should've dealt with it better than just simply matching your temper and raising my voice...", Sei looking shamefaced by her own actions as well, owning up to the bulk of the incident. "...I wish I had more experience with these sort of thing", Sei confided only to be met by yet another scowl, albeit milder.

Sachiko muttered, "Why would you wish to have had more experience? I like the fact that we're discovering and experiencing new things together"

Sei grinned and chuckled. "My Sa-chan is very wise...and extremely possessive"

Sachiko smiled bashfully. "I'm sorry...I really can't help it...Are you mad at me?"

Sei smiled and kissed Sachiko's forehead. "No...but I would appreciate you curbing that temper a bit. I'm not Yumi-chan, you know?"

Sachiko nodded, understanding what Sei meant exactly. How many times had Sei witness her temper tantrums thrown at Yumi? Her petite sœur, of course, stood bravely, absorbing her verbal jabs.

"Sa-chan?", Sei said, breaking Sachiko's thoughts. "I'm not out to hurt you"

Sachiko leaned her head between the crook of Sei's jaw and shoulder. "I know...I trust you...it's other people I don't..."

Sei chuckled. "There was no 'indecent proposal' from Hideyo-sama. You need to accept that she's a part of my life, and in her own hippy way, cares about me like a grande sœur. Besides, I'm not easily seduceable, mind you."

"Oh?", Sachiko looked up. "So what will it take to seduce you?"

Sei gazed at Sachiko's curious expression. "Hmm...you'll have to find that out for yourself", she replied coyly.

---

Sei woke up half past midnight, feeling a slight pressure on her left arm. She stopped herself from panicking, thinking all the while that Sachiko fell off her bed and straight into the futon. Slowly glancing at her left side, Sei could see Sachiko stirring in her sleep and slowly opening her eyes. "Sa-chan? Did you just fall off the bed? Are you hurt?"

In her sleepy state, Sachiko shook her head slowly, scooted closer to Sei, and burrowed her body to the older girl's. Sei laid still for a few seconds until Sachiko fell asleep again. She eventually reached for her blanket and covered both of them. "Good night, Sa-chan...I love you", she whispered, then closed her eyes and smiled. Sei had a feeling she will have a good night's rest for the first time in months.

---

Sei woke up the following morning to Sachiko's kissing and to her horror, the younger girl was on top of her. "Err...Sa-chan", Sei's words were quickly muffled with a kiss, that later on moved to her neck. A sigh of pleasure escaped her throat but her mind protested at what was happening, or about to happen. "Sa-chan?", she said, with an gentle admonishing expression. "What are you doing?"

Sachiko arched her eyebrows and replied innocently, "Finding out what it takes to seduce you?" She proceeded to continue kissing Sei. A tiny voice managed to come out of Sei, "Sa-chan...let's not go there...yet",

Sachiko looked up, hurt and confused. "You don't want to?", she asked curtly. She withdrew herself from Sei and laid next to her.

Sei wrapped her arms and legs around Sachiko in response.

Sachiko turned her head away from Sei and said nothing. Sei grinned then kissed Sachiko, begging for her attention. "Sa-chan...I think you misunderstood me...did I say anything about not wanting it? I merely said...let's not go there yet"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want us to rush into things...Sa-chan..." Sei sat up and tugged Sachiko to do the same, so that they can speak with each other face to face. Sei held Sachiko's hands and gripped them tightly. "When I first realized I was carrying these feelings for you...it scared the heck out of me...because it's so strong...I could barely get a hold of myself..."

"You make it sound like it's the worst thing that happened to you..." Sachiko said sadly.

Sei chuckled. "On the contrary...it's the best thing that's ever happened to me" Her smile disappeared and gazed seriously into Sachiko's eyes. "But I also know now...that if I don't get to control my emotions...I tend to hurt myself and the people I love...you've seen how blind-sighted I was before...I didn't care about anything except to have Shiori..and ironically...I lost her because of that...if only I was able to control myself...Shiori wouldn't have left...I brought her a lot of pain and trouble"

Sachiko bit her lip in anxiety, noticing Sei's gaze out of focus and seemingly lost in her own thought about Shiori. Sei, however, quickly recovered, smiled and gazed back. " I don't want that to happen between you and I...that's why I don't want to rush, Sa-chan. I need to learn how to temper my passion with a _wee_ bit of reason", she said, holding her thumb and pointer finger together, to emphasize her statement. "Can you give me time to grow up? I promise it won't take forever"

Sachiko grinned and nodded. She pursed her lips later on and fidgeted. "So...it doesn't mean that you don't want me...that way...right?"

Sei sighed inwardly, finally understanding where this was coming from. "I'm not Suguru, Sa-chan, though I can't really fault him for not looking at you that way. I am...extremely attracted to you...you have no idea...I really think you're, hmm, for lack of better words, really hot"

Sachiko blushed at Sei's honesty. She leaned over and kissed Sei. "If the hottest person in the world, thinks I'm the hottest person in the world...that must mean I'm _really_ all that?". Sachiko laughed at her own use of colloquial lingo.

"Uh-oh. Your parents are going to kill me for being a bad influence. Ogasawara Sachiko, their princess, using pedestrian language". Sei acted as if she was having a heart attack and fell on Sachiko's lap. "Speaking of parents...I think I should get you home. They might think I've kidnapped you already"

Sachiko nodded and sighed. "I wish I could go on like this with you everyday"

"I wish for that too, Sa-chan". Sei forced a smile, though it's getting more and more difficult to do so, knowing she would have to leave Sachiko alone, and feeling trapped in her own home. But there was nothing she could do, except act as an anchor to Sachiko. And with that comes the part of pretending to be strong and optimistic about this whole affair. Sei had often times wondered if this makes her a liar, if she is making a fool out of Sachiko for leading her to this situation. Just by looking at Sachiko tardily pack her things, Sei had began doubting and regretting her decision.

_If you leave her now, do you know what that will do to her? _Youko's words kept ringing in Sei's head. _I won't break her. I won't. _Sei convinced herself.

---

When they arrived at the Ogasawara mansion, Sachiko's mother and father were both waiting for them and insisted for Sei to stay over lunch. Once they began eating, Sachiko's father, Ogasawara Touru, began speaking to Sei. Sachiko glanced at Sei nervously. If there was any form of discomfort Sei was successful in hiding it.

"Sei-san, what are your plans after college?"

Sei smiled and spoke calmly. "Continue writing...maybe I could get something published"

"Good, good" Ogasawara Touro replied jovially."This world needs more writers. There's not enough good things to read these days, perhaps you can change that"

"Thank you", Sei said. "I hope so too"

That's when it first hit Sachiko. She has actually never read a single work by Sei. The first time Sei mentioned she had won a writing competition, Sachiko's mind was preoccupied with the nature of Hideyo's relationship with Sei. She looked at Sei guiltily, but the other girl was too busy answering her father's questions.

"But Sei-san, I hope you don't mind me asking this. After all, you are Sachiko's friend, and so you are like a daughter to me. Are you prepared to go hungry?"

Sei chuckled, for she knew exactly what Sachiko's father meant. Artists, unless one becomes a mainstream hit, normally live under an almost impoverished state. Sachiko, however, mistook her father's curiosity, for a condescending statement. Her hands began to tremble, only to be calmed by Sei's own hand touching hers slightly. "I understand why you're asking, Ogasawara-sama", Sei said, first looking and smiling at Sachiko, then her father. "But we all have to make sacrifices in order to achieve our goals"

Sachiko's father smiled and nodded. "I wish you the best of luck then, Sei-san"

Sachiko sighed in relief. After Sei thanked her father, the lunch went on almost quietly. After Sei left a couple of hours later, Sachiko was called to be at the family den. Her father and mother were having tea and invited Sachiko to join them.

"Sachiko", her father began. "Now that you seem to have already adjusted well in college. It's the right time for you to start getting exposed to our business"

Sachiko kept a calm demeanor. She had been taught well by her own mother not to show any behavior that will give away her real feelings.

"You and Suguru-san will have to work with each other. I cannot possibly let his side of the family simply take control of our own shares. And so you must know how everything works. So while you're still in your first year, I'll ask you to join me every now and then to our office after your class. We'll progress later on"

Sachiko nodded politely and waited for her father to dismiss her. There is nothing to say, simply because she doesn't have the right to say anything about her father's decision. Sachiko left the den, went straight to her room's balcony and stared at the sky. _Sunset...please hurry. _


	7. Chapter 7

"Sei-chan, you are in love, aren't you?", Hideyo asked flatly.

Sei glanced at her student mentor nervously, not knowing what prompted the question.

"Well?"

"Yes...I am", Sei said, then returned to working a task for Hideyo.

"With Sachiko-chan?"

She stopped scribbling and faced her mentor who was sitting on the floor inside the Lit Club's office, holding a black notebook. "Yes, I thought you have already figured that out, Hideyo-sama"

Hideyo chuckled, then opened the notebook. "So tell me why, the themes in your work seem to get more depressing?"

Sei frowned. This was part of the deal with her and Hideyo, in fact it was perhaps one of the main reasons why she accepted the research assistant position. It was true that Hideyo did not bribe Sei with any expensive material things. All she had was an empty notebook in hand and gave it to Sei. _If you become my research assistant, I will help you improve on your writing. But that requires you to write rabidly, your thoughts, your poems, your prose, in this notebook. I will read it and we will discuss it, no hiding anything from me. _

That was Hideyo's offer, and while Sei felt in the beginning that Hideyo was threading the thin line between mentoring and voyeurism, Sei eventually decided that there was no harm in doing this. Hideyo turned out to be a great confidante for Sei. They were in a lot of ways, kindred spirits, and so while Sei still feels violated sometimes when Hideyo probes, it was a process that has helped her sort out her thoughts almost all the time. The greater part of last year alone, Sei spent most of the time writing, and consequently, talking about Shiori. But that was part of her past. Her feelings for Sachiko are much too present and raw, that she isn't sure if speaking about it would be the best thing.

"Satou Sei", Hideyo spoke, interrupting Sei's thoughts. "Please don't tell me you have turned up to be one of those artists who thrive on tragedy and pain"

Sei chuckled. Hideyo abhors that. She has always believed that there was more to writing than speaking about tragedy. For her, life is much too colorful, and it is the artist's responsibility to share every hue, and not simply describe one color. "No, Hideyo-sama...the last entry was very old...before Sa-chan and I...", Sei replied. "But I find it hard to put into words the happiness I feel with her"

"Then try harder, Sei-chan. I am beginning to feel hopelessness everytime I read your work. Give me something to look forward to", she said as she stood up and handed back the notebook. "Perhaps you are finding it difficult to put them into words because something is clouding them"

Sei sighed. There was simply no escaping Hideyo. She is in a lot of ways, worse than Youko.

Hideyo patted Sei's head. "Sei-chan, perhaps you should go home and rest...or walk across the lawn for a little chat with someone who holds your heart dearly"

---

Sei sat on the grass and leaned her back on a tree. "Forgive me sister, for I have sinned"

Sitting next to Sei, Shimako smiled and replied. "When was your last confession?"

"Since god knows when"

Shimako giggled. "So what is it that burdens you?"

Sei sighed. "I'm in love with a girl who is engaged to her cousin"

"and does she love you back?"

"Yeah, we're kind of, uhm. Are you sure you're up to this kind of conversation?"

"Onee-sama, just because I want to be a nun, doesn't mean I will faint at the very thought of a lesbian couple"

"Okay, I just want to be sure that I won't dirty up your pure blessed mind"

Sachiko giggled again. "Is my onee-sama implying that she wants to tell me how she lost her virginity?"

Sei faced Shimako with a scowl. "Why is it that sex seems to be on everyone's mind these days?!? Including you, of all people. I am scandalized!" She sat back and mumbled, "And just for the record, no we have not done it"

"I sense bitterness in that statement", Shimako teased.

"Shimako", Sei mumbled flatly. "You've been hanging out with Yoshino for far too long"

"Alright, alright, onee-sama. I won't tease you anymore. What seems to be the matter?"

"You're asking me what's the matter? This is Sachiko I'm talking about"

"Well, yes, that was too obvious already"

"Well, it should be obvious too, that there's just so many things that complicate the matter further. She's engaged to Suguru. She comes from the elite part of our society and--"

"Onee-sama, we all know those things a long time ago. It's not like you only found out today. So I don't understand exactly why you are grumbling about this"

Sei found it difficult to think of a retort. Before she could even open her mouth, Shimako continued. "Onee-sama, it sounds to me that you are scared. You don't like it when people depend on you. You're just lucky that you found me, instead of another petite seour. But this time, Sachiko-sama is depending heavily on you. As much as you don't want that, you can't deny her that because you love her so much"

Sei laughed bitterly. "My petite seour has grown up so much. I'm torn, Shimako"

"Why?"

"Uhm, you already explained it in an eerily accurate manner"

"Yes, that's why I don't understand why you are torn. It's quite obvious to me that despite everything, your love for her is the one that moves you. So you should just let it take over your fears. Aren't you the one who once said that just because you know a love can end, doesn't mean you should hide from it? On the contrary, the more that you should make the most out of it. Or something like that"

Sei chuckled. "Yes, I do remember saying something like that"

"Stop wasting your time mulling over things when you should be out there giving her as much love as possible. This might not end tragically after all. You're just up against mere mortals this time, not Maria-sama. That one was hopeless to begin with"

"Har har. You are getting to be much of a comedianne these days. By the way aren't you committing a sin by condoning my relationship with her?"

"Perhaps", Shimako said. "But unlike you, I confess regularly, so tomorrow I will have another clean slate. Plus my father prays to Buddha, just in case"

Sei laughed at her petite seour's logic, but appreciated it anyway. Shimako was in fact the last person she wanted to inform about Sachiko and her, but somehow Shimako has made her feel that it was alright, and judgment was far from her mind. She stood up and thanked Shimako, for the time and advice. Certainly a heavy burden was lifted from her, and perhaps now, she can start writing about Sachiko, not to give Hideyo something to look forward to, but simply because her Sa-chan deserves being equated to happiness this time.

---

_Or maybe not,_ Sei thought grimly.

Sei left school and went straight to the Ogasawara mansion. Both were very busy that day and agreed to just simply meet up before dinner. Sei, unexpectedly, was welcomed by a sullen looking Sachiko. "Let's go to my room, Sei-san", she said sadly. Sei said nothing and simply followed Sachiko. The moment she closed the door behind her, Sachiko held her in a tight embrace.

Sei returned the embrace and tried to comfort her. "What's wrong, Sa-chan? Did someone hurt you?"

In response, Sachiko shook her head and gripped Sei tighter. "My father wants me to start being active in running our corporation..."

"That doesn't sound like a bad thing...", Sei commented.

"It is!", Sachiko exclaimed. "No one's ever asked me if I'm even remotely interested in running our company with Suguru-san!"

Sachiko threw herself at Sei again and sobbed. "I really just don't have a choice on anything about my life. From marrying Suguru-san to my majors in college, to what I want to do after graduating...to them I'm just a pawn that they can sacrifice for their strategies to work!"

"Shh...calm down, Sa-chan...shhh...they might hear you", Sei whispered, kissing Sachiko's cheek and affectionately stroked her hair. "Come here..." Sei said, tugging Sachiko to sit down on her bed. Sei brushed away the hair that fell on Sachiko's face and gently tucked them behind her ears. "Sa-chan...there are things right now that you...we...can't do anything about...but don't ever think you don't have a choice in life...you chose to be with me, see?"

"But I can't even be with you anytime I want to", Sachiko countered. "I know you'll think I'm so possessive...but for the last few months...I saw you everyday...and to think that we've just begun..."

"But that's good, or else you'll get tired of me", Sei chuckled.

Sachiko frowned in response and stood up, far away from Sei. "You're not taking this seriously, Sei-san...I would've thought you'd...I guess when you're not in my place, it's hard to understand the gravity of this situation", she said coldly, looking away from Sei's direction.

"Yeah, I guess", Sei shrugged, feeling a bit slighted by Sachiko's words.

"I..I'd like to be alone now...please leave, Sei-san", Sachiko muttered. Sei said nothing and simply walked out of the door. Before closing it behind her, she said softly, "I'll see you tomorrow, Sa-chan"

Sachiko winced at the sound of the door closing. This wasn't what she wanted at all. Why did she have to say those things with so much venom? And to Sei, of all people. She wished Sei would come back, but that didn't happen. Sachiko heard Sei's car rev up and leave the compound.

Sei drove like a maniac on red bull and cocaine and violently stepped on the breaks in front of Youko's apartment, causing it to release a loud screeching sound. Youko's head popped out of the window and shouted, "Are you friggin nuts?!?"

"Yeah, yeah I am. Come down here, you manipulative, scheming dictator"

Youko laughed and threw her highlighter from the second floor, hitting Sei squarely on her head. "Be there in a bit", Youko said, ignoring Sei's cursing.

"So, what's making you so cheerful, Sei?" Youko sniggered as she entered the car.

"Sa-chan", she grumbled.

Youko giggled. "I thought so"

"She threw me out, can you believe that?!"

Youko laughed loudly. "Actually, I can"

Sei groaned. "The last few days was just really amazing I--"

"Hold up. What happened the last few days?", Youko asked with her brows raised.

Sei froze and then grinned. Scratching her head, she finally confessed. "Err...we kind of...well...you know...it's official"

"Oohhh, no wonder I couldn't get a hold of you last Saturday, when it was _you_ who scheduled for lunch in the first place". Youko tried to keep a straight face but ended up laughing when Sei realized she had ditched Youko again, albeit always unintentionally.

"Anyway" Youko said. "You owe me lunch. But forget about that for a minute. So you and Sachiko...are officially together...and then today, she threw you out?"

"Yeah". Sei frowned remembering Sachiko's words. Sei proceeded in telling Youko what happened.

"I just actually want to know, I mean, I kind of have an idea in highschool, but back then I obviously didn't care much about dealing with that...so I want to know if she can be really this...difficult"

"She can be worse than whatever she showed you today", Youko confirmed.

"Boy, I'd really have to show more respect to Yumi-chan"

Youko smiled. "What're you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to cool my head off for a bit, and yeah, find out how to deal with her when she's like that"

"Sachiko's insecurities over her seour relationship with Yumi-chan may be nothing compared to her insecurities with you right now"

"I can't give her promises I know I can't keep, Youko. I can't make her believe that I'll be capable of whisking her away from all her problems"

'I don't think she's asking you to. I think what she wants to just know you're not going anywhere _despite _her problems"

"I've already said that to her"

"Then say it over and over until it goes through that thick skull of hers. It's hard for her to just instantly believe on love when the first group of people who's suppose to show that--her family--have failed to...She's really an insecure person, Sei, but just like with Yumi-chan, she'll fully believe you later on...so can you try not to take that against her right now?"

"You're spoiling her, Youko", Sei frowned and pouted.

Youko chuckled. "I simply say what I think should be done. But in the end, it's your decision"

Sei sighed. "Yeah...and you know what my decision will be, I bet"

---

That same night, Sei drove back to the Ogasawara Mansion. "Sa-chan?" Sei said, while knocking on the door of Sachiko's room. Sachiko ran towards the door upon hearing Sei's voice. "Sei-san..." she smiled, seeing Sei standing in front of her, relieved that it wasn't only her imagination.

"Sa-chan...I'm sorry...", Sei mumbled, scratching the back of her head awkwardly.

"No...no..." Sachiko said. "I shouldn't have said those things...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Sei smiled and stroked Sachiko's hair. ".We'll have to adjust with your new schedule...it won't be that bad...I'll even bug you at work, how's that?"

A small smile escaped Sachiko's lips. "I'd love that...right now it won't be everyday...but will you promise to annoy me with your presence when that happens?"

"Of course. I'll make sure I'll even annoy Suguru more"

Sachiko stopped herself from crying any further. "I'm sorry that it had to be me...my life is so..complicated...that of all people you can possibly fall in--"

"Oi! Don't you ever apologize for that." Sei said, playfully pinching Sachiko's nose. "Smile for me Sa-chan?"

Sachiko nodded. "Okay...but...only if you promise me that the next time I ask you to leave...you won't"

Sei chuckled then grinned. "But I'm an obedient child"

"Well, I'm telling you now...don't...I didn't want you to leave..."

"I get that now...that's why I'm back here"

---

Sei picked up her old battered notebook and stared at it. She scanned the pages and found the last entry. It was written on the first day of school this year and alluded once again to Shiori. Sei smiled and wrote three letters, F-I-N. That chapter in her life has finally closed.

---

_You have left me that winter of my adolesence_

_I have not expected you to return_

_Love... I barely recognize you_

_You are not in the form of an ethereal goddess I once worshipped_

_You are now very human _

_You get consumed by anger, passion, and sadness _

_You challenge me and test my patience _

_I can see so much defiance in your eyes _

_You are very jealous and easily slighted_

_Yet I find myself longing for that jealous embrace_

_I search for those defiant eyes that berate my cowardice_

_Your laughter drowns out the din that used to fill my head at night_

_your smile has stripped me barenaked_

_removing the unnecessary garb that has cloaked my life..._

Hideyo smiled and closed her eyes in satisfaction halfway through Sei's work. _Ah, Sei-chan. What a wonderful soul you have. _


	8. Chapter 8

Autumn ended as fast as it began, and Sei was already feeling the blues the moment winter kicked in. It was friday and she was on her way to pick up Sachiko from work. It has been weeks already since the future business mogul spent the night at Sei's apartment. And whether the blonde girl cares to admit it or not, pangs of jealousy had been eating a part of her, as Sachiko spent more and more time learning the ropes in the Ogasawara group of companies. She can't, however, bother herself with harboring that bitter feeling--she had promised Sachiko to never make it an issue--and so she won't even if it kills her.

To remove all negative thoughts, Sei developed a mental exercise in order to keep dreading about their future--to think about their squabbles about the little things given Sachiko's temper and her incessant teasing designed to push the younger girl's buttons. Those things make her laugh, and more importantly, those moments lead to making up, the part where Sei's thoughts really prefer to dwell into. Thus from one heavy step to another, Sei braved the wind chill as she walked towards the parking lot.

Sachiko glanced repeatedly at the clock hanging on her father's office. She smiled a bit seeing the time. _Sei-san will be here anytime soon. _

"Sachiko?", her father asked. "What is it that you and Sei-san normally do when you spend the weekends at her home?"

"We...talk, sometimes we watch movies...or play computer games or cards...or we go out and meet my onee-sama and Yumi for dinner...why do you ask, father?" Sachiko answered calmly, though anxiety was building up from this unexpected question. _Is he...suspecting that we're...? Oh please no. We've been very careful..._

"Well, you spend most of your free time with her. I'm just concerned that..." Ogasawara Touro hesitated to continue, which was uncharacteristic of him. Sachiko began to feel cold sweat on her forehead as she waited. Her father stood up and sat in a chair next to Sachiko. "I'm just concerned that...well...". He cleared his throat, causing Sachiko to hold her breath in anticipation.

"I meant...Sei-san is not a drinker, nor a smoker, is she?", her father finally finished.

Sachiko blinked several times, unsure of what she has heard. She felt like bursting into laughter but of course she was not trained to do so, thus she merely smiled at her father and shook her head. "No, father. Sei-san does not have any vice at all, unless you consider coffee drinking a vice?"

Her father broke into a relieved smile. "That's wonderful to know"

"Whatever made you think Sei-san has vices?" Sachiko couldn't help inject that question, out of curiosity and protectiveness for Sei's image.

"Oh...because she's an artist...some of them have a certain...lifestyle that can be excessive...though I'm certainly glad she is not one of them"

They were interrupted by a voice on the intercom informing them of Sei's arrival. Sachiko smiled and nodded at her father before she picked up her overnight bag that had been packed days earlier.

---

Sachiko almost jumped at Sei, holding her in a tight embrace as soon as they got inside her apartment. This caused the latter to lose her balance with both of them ended up falling flat on the floor. Sachiko didn't mind and began kissing Sei's face. "I missed you so much", she whispered, kissing the shell of Sei's ear, then proceeded to kissing her lips. "I thought I'd go crazy by not being able to be this near you for weeks already...and to hug you...and kiss you", she said in between kisses.

Sei smiled, relieved that the time spent apart didn't at all mean emotional distance between the two of them, and began kissing Sachiko in return. Sei's feather-like kisses left Sachiko feel all buttery that's slowly melting under the sun, letting out a tiny gasp, when her girlfriend nipped her neck. Sei, however, took it a sign of resistance and worriedly glanced at Sachiko. The smile on the raven-haired girl, however, indicated the opposite, encouraging her to continue. Sachiko couldn't help but smirk as she thought to herself, _this is it...we're going to..._

_...be interrupted by a knock on the door. _Sachiko frowned and stared at Sei, silently pleading to just ignore it, but the latter smiled apologetically and stood up.

Sei peered through the peephole and opened the door after Sachiko straightened herself up. "Hideyo-sama", she said. Her mentor grinned at her and waved an envelope. "You ought to know what this is"

Sei grimaced then opened the door further for Hideyo to see that she wasn't alone. Hideyo, however, had a different take on the matter and greeted Sachiko in an extremely cheerful way. "Sachiko-san! I'm so glad you are here as well. It would be tragic if Sei-chan's beloved isn't here to celebrate with her for such good news"

Sachiko raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Good news, Hideyo-sama?"

Hideyo grinned at Sei proudly, who had a grim expression on her face. "I just knew it. The moment I met Sei-chan, I knew this girl would go places. This", Hideyo said, opening the envelope. "This is the letter informing our department that Satou Sei's short story had been chosen as this year's top entry in the Nekusuto Shō.

Sachiko's eyes grew wide and kissed Sei, not caring that someone else was with them. She was after all, Sei's mentor, who was the first to have openly commented about the two of them anyway. "Sei-chan", Sachiko gushed. "Congratulations"

Sei smiled sheepishly. "Thank you"

"Well, I'll leave the two of you. I just had to personally deliver the news since I'm a very proud mother right now. Here Sei-chan, keep this letter. It'll be nice on a frame", Hideyo said before walking herself out of the apartment. Sachiko picked up the letter and read it herself. "Sei-san...isn't Nekusuto a prestigious award giving body for literature?"

Sei nodded. "Yeah...it was Hideyo-sama who sent my work as an entry"

"What is your story about, Sei-san?"

Sei turned pale. "Uhm...see, Sa-chan...that was written summer of this year..."

Sachiko gazed at Sei, understanding the cause of her struggle to give a straight answer. She held Sei's hands and smiled at her. "It's alright, Sei-san...she was...a huge part of your past...that's something that I can't, nor do I want to erase, because those things are what make up who you are now"

Sei shook her head. "Sa-chan...I..."

"I'm proud of you", Sachiko said, hugging Sei as tight as possible. "We need to celebrate, Sei-san...I should call Onee-sama, Yumi and the rest...let's have dinner here. My treat"

"But...but..." Sei sputtered. "What about..."

Sachiko smirked and smiled coyly. "Yes? What about..?"

Sei's stared at Sachiko with incredulity and amusement. "I can't believe that you're doing this"

"Hmm? " Sachiko replied while she picked up the phone. "What's wrong with ordering pizza and having our friends over?"

Sei slumped at her love seat exaggeratedly while waiting for Sachiko to end her phone conversations. Sachiko on the other hand kept an amused smirk, glancing at a very disgruntled Sei. After putting down the phone, she went behind Sei, wrapped her arms around the older girl's neck, and nibbled the shell of her before whispering. "we've waited for months, what's a few more hours?" Sachiko chuckled upon hearing Sei groan, frustrated at the outcome of events. "Fine", Sei muttered. She stuck out her tongue as Sachiko laughed her way inside Sei's room. "I'll just change to something more comfortabe than this suit, they'll be arriving shortly"

---

"Onee-sama! Congratulations!". Shimako rushed towards Sei. "Mmph!", was all Sei could utter, with her mouth full of pizza, and Shimako hugging her tight. "Thanks, Shimako", she finally said after swallowing forcefully. Yumi arrived shortly and as expected Yoshino with Rei. Unexpectedly late was Youko whose thoughts seem to be everywhere but the current event.

Yoshino eventually noticed and commented. "Youko-sama, are you alright?"

"Hmm?", Youko replied absentmindedly. "Yes...yes I'm alright"

Yumi smiled at Yoshino. "Don't worry about her. She's probably just stressed out for all the packing. Being away for a year is no joke"

"Yumi-chan!" Youko exclaimed looking very much horrified.

Sei dropped the slice of pizza she was holding. "Away?"

Sachiko looked on, confused at Sei's reaction. "Onee-sama? You haven't told Sei-san?"

"Obviously not". It was Sei who replied. Youko looked away in response. "When. When were you planning on telling me. Or was that even an option, Youko." Sei wasn't asking, instead, it very much had an accusatory tone to it.

Youko let out a very audible sigh. "Sei..."

Sachiko moved closer to Sei and attempted to reach for her, only to be shrugged by the latter, who was still intently staring at Youko. "When?!" Everyone in the room winced at Sei's sudden display of anger, except Youko.

"It's just a year, Sei. And it's for school. I got in an exchange program, and I can't let that opportuni--"

"I don't freaking care why you're leaving!!! Why is it that Yumi and Sachiko seem to know about this, and not me?!" Sei didn't wait for Youko to answer. She immediately stormed off her apartment and slammed the door behind her. Sachiko, still confused over Sei's reaction, moved on to follow her, only to be stopped by Youko. "Let me talk to her, Sachiko"

Youko ran down the fire exit, hoping to catch Sei who probably took the elevator. Carrying Sei's coat, Youko eventually caught up with her on the other side of the street. "Sei! You'll catch a cold if you don't wear this coat!"

"Don't care", Sei replied curtly, still walking briskly, and a few steps ahead of Youko. "Sei, please don't be such a child",Youko muttered softly. Sei eventually stopped and turned around. "I may be a child, but at least I know that I deserve the decency of not being kept in the dark by someone I consider as my best friend"

"I wasn't planning on keeping you in the dark, Sei...I just...you've been..."

"Been what? So busy with Sa-chan? Are you punishing me?"

"What? Punishing? I couldn't tell you because I'm so worried about leaving you. Sei, what are you talking about?"

Sei sighed. "For being in love with your petite seour...and not...and not..."

Youko smiled affectionately. "And not me? Is that what you wanted to say?"

Sei shuddered as a cold breeze passed through them. Youko walked towards Sei and handed over her coat. "Sei...I've long accepted the fact that you're not capable of loving me that way. I could sense that you tried...don't think I didn't see it...the whole of last year...you, always asking me out for dinner and just spending tremendous amount of time together...and I do appreciate you trying, instead of just pretending I never told you what I felt, which quite honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if you did"

Sei was looking down the whole time, and so it became easier for the tears to just fall. "I don't understand why...I just couldn't feel...It made sense...perfect sense...you're the one person I'm most honest with...so I don't know why I couldn't...and now, with Sa-chan...It's just so unfair to you" Sei said in a barely coherent manner. It was one "issue" that Youko and Sei have left untouched, especially since Sei and Sachiko started to fall in love.

"Don't fault yourself for something that isn't meant to be in the first place, Sei" Youko said, holding Sei's hands to keep it from being cold. "You said it yourself...I'm the one person you're most honest with...that's my role in your life...I keep you sane...and I've learned to love that role. Knocking some sense into you has become my most favorite activity, you know"

"And what have I done for you, Youko? I fell in love with Sachiko and confide that in you. So what is it that I do to you everytime? Break your heart? Why do you allow that?"

"Don't be so full of yourself, Sei." Youko chuckled. "Who said anything about you breaking my heart?"

Sei frowned. "But..."

"Sei? Do you think for one second, I will push you into getting it right with Sachiko if it meant that my heart will break into pieces? I'm a friend, not a masochist, and definitely not a martyr either"

"I don't understand...but you..."

"I love you, yes" Youko shrugged. "Don't ask me how, but like I said, I've long accepted where I am in your life, and I like where I am"

"So why are you leaving?"

Youko laughed. "You really _are_ full of yourself, aren't you? Just because you happen to catch a very beautiful princess that goes by name Ogasawara Sachiko, doesn't mean you're that much of a heart breaker, enough for me to run away. I told you I'm leaving for an exchange program"

"for a doggone year", Sei added bitterly. "Who would I ditch now for lunch?"

Youko chuckled. "Could it be that you're actually admitting to needing me?"

Sei wiped her tears in a child-like way. "You know I do, Youko"

Youko smiled and hugged her. "Yeah...but you ought to lessen that and start needing Sachiko more...and you have to learn to tell her that as well...which brings me to asking...are you planning on talking to her her about how I feel for you?"

Sei sighed heavily. "I almost did earlier when she asked about the story...But...They're not my feelings to tell, Youko...and she's your petite seour"

Youko nodded. "You're right...it's my responsibility to be honest with her"

Sei gazed at Youko who, despite everything, remained calm and reasonable. "You're amazing, Youko"

"I am? Who just won an award? By the way, what _was_ your story about?"

Sei smiled and placed her arm around Youko's shoulders as they began walking back to her apartment. "It's about an unrequited love..."

---

A/N: R & R :) Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate all your inputs. Regarding this chapter, I felt that Youko needed to be seen in an extremely positive light (before I send her off somewhere else, which has a point in this story, I promise) because she's such a great character.


	9. Chapter 9

After the whole hullabaloo between Sei and Youko, things resumed normally, as how it had always been for the current and former occupants of the Rose Mansion. They left a couple of hours later, leaving Sei and Sachiko alone to contemplate on whether they ought to resume with what should have happened before Hideyo arrived.

_"Uhmm...Sa-chan...so...what do you wanna do?"_

_ "I...well...I was thinking of...uhm, taking a shower to freshen up"_

_ "Oh..."_

_ "Then after that, we could...mmm...watch a movie?"_

_ "Yeah...okay...movie sounds good"_

_ "Right...well...I'll, uh, use your bathroom now"_

_ "Okay"_

_ "Yeah...I'll uhm, go now"_

_ "...Wait" _

Sei grabbed Sachiko's wrist and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Needless to say, Sachiko never reached the bathroom for a shower, and instead found herself with Sei in bed. Both struggled and had no clue where to go, and what to do. Sex ed does not discuss lesbian sex, and Sei cursed her Catholic education, for refusing to even look at porn as an alternative source of information. In the end, both had to rely on instinct and silently directed each other to where it felt good for them. Both wanted to know if the other was satisfied, but neither had the courage to ask. All they knew is that the feel of their bare skin pressed on each other was something they would never exchange for anything else in the world.

"Sa-chan?", Sei finally asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yes?", Sachiko replied, her head still burrowed on the nook between Sei's chin and shoulder.

"I...didn't hurt you...did I?"

Sachiko could not look at Sei for the simple reason that she felt her whole face still blushing from what had happened earlier. Sachiko wanted to say "No, it felt good. So good that I really, _really_ want to do it again with you", but instead, settled for a "No, you didn't hurt me Sei-san...Did I? Hurt you?"

"No...not at all", Sei replied, smiling to herself. _Are you kidding me, Sa-chan? It was amazing. _

Sachiko finally shifted her position and faced Sei. "I love you", she said sheepishly.

"I love you too", Sei replied, grinning. She held Sachiko's face and pulled herself to kiss the other girl. "I didn't have anything planned for us tomorrow, would there be anything you want to do, or anywhere you want to go in particular?"

"No...I just want to stay here with you"

"Okay, let's just stay indoors then"

Sachiko chuckled. "No, more specific, Sei-san"

"Eh?"

"Here...like...stay here in bed"

"All day?" Sei asked in amusement.

Sachiko smiled and nodded. She laid on her back and said. "Yes, I wish to be served breakfast in bed...and lunch...and dinner"

"I didn't know I got a job as a part time servant to the Ogasawara princess" Sei retorted.

"Well, there are rewards to it"

"Such as?"

"The activities in between meal time". Before Sei could think of a come back, Sachiko rolled on top of Sei and kissed her intensely. "It was amazing, Sei-san..." she said, with her eyes gleaming.

Sei grinned widely. "Yeah?"

Nodding, Sachiko gingerly collapsed beside of Sei and held her tight. "This... is the safest I've ever felt in my life". Sei held her back. "Then you can stay here as much as you want"

Sachiko sighed and closed her eyes. "I'll wake up to this, too?"

Brushing Sachiko's hair away from her face, Sei kissed her forehead and muttered, "Yeah...that's a promise"

---

"Sei-chan, have you already asked Sachiko-san to go with you?", Hideyo inquired. "The awarding is this Saturday already"

Sei glanced at Hideyo guiltily. "I did not ask her, Hideyo-sama"

"Why not?" Hideyo was taken aback by Sei's peculiar behavior. People would normally want the most special person in their life to share moments like that, yet, here is Satou Sei, very much in love with Sachiko, but has not asked her to be with her in the awarding ceremony.

"I was thinking of asking you to go with me, Hideyo-sama. After all, you are my mentor...whatever I have achieved is mostly because of you", Sei said, forcing a smile.

Hideyo merely glanced at Sei. She is the type that knows when to step in and when to just let go of things. The latter certainly applied to this situation. "So, will you?" Sei asked.

Hideyo smiled back and nodded. "Thank you, Sei-chan. That would be an honor"

Sei buried herself afterwards in Hideyo's assigned task to her in order to consume her mind with something else instead of the earlier conversation with Sachiko.

_"Sa-chan...the...awarding ceremony for my short story will be this Saturday at the convention center...I was hoping you could go with me"_

_ "Would there be others with us?"_

_ "Ah, no. The invitation is for two people...so I was thinking..."_

_ "But...Sei-san...if I go as your...date...some people might..."_

_ "Oh...Yeah...haha...that's right...what was I thinking? Stupid me"_

_ "Sei-san..."_

_ "I'll go ask Hideyo-sama. She's the one who submitted my work, so that's just fair, right? Have to go, Sa-chan, I need to catch up on her. See you later"_

_ "Sei-san, I--"_

Sachiko was not to be faulted--that was Sei's conviction. She was right, and it was logical. Sachiko is quite known is several circles because she is an Ogasawara. And if she brings Sachiko as her date, rumors might just start turning, and it could make things more difficult for them. Youko was definitely out of the question, she had already endured too much, and playing second fiddle was just too cruel. Hideyo, on the other hand, was the perfect choice. No one would question why she was there. She is her mentor, and should rightfully be by her side when she accepts the award. Sei felt bad for not being able to go with Sachiko, worse for even bringing up Youko as an option, and disgusted for using her own mentor.

_---_

"I'm not feeling this", Sei frowned while she stared at herself in the mirror. "Is this dress within legal limit, Youko? My legs are _way _too exposed"

"A cocktail dress, as what is required in the invitation" Youko replied, suppressing a grin caused by a very uncomfortable Sei in a little black dress. "You can never go wrong with an lbd, Sei"

Sei groaned and slumped her shoulders. "Little, is an understatement. I hate events like this"

Youko smiled. "You look great. You always do. And you'll do just fine accepting your award". Sei, in fact, would do more than fine, Youko thought. She looked stunning in that black dress that contrasted her skin and hair color. Sei had often been mistaken to be a model, and that dress simply accentuated her beauty.

"My hair, what about my goddamn hair?", Sei said, ruffling her hair to make it more unruly.

Youko shifted her attention from her law book to Sei. "You have perfected the out of bed look, Sei. Don't worry about it"

Sei sighed. "Are you making fun of me?"

"No, I would tell you if I'm seeing anything wrong. There really isn't. Trust me"

"Alright...Uhm...Youko? When exactly are you leaving?"

"January...I made sure I'd be here on your birthday"

Sei grinned and hugged her. "Thanks...God, I really don't know how to repay you for everything"

Youko hugged her back tightly. "Make sure you mention me on your acceptance speech. After all, what would your story be without me?"

Sei laughed and ruffled Youko's hair. "You'll get more than just a mere mention...wait here". Sei walked towards her closet and took out a box. "This is for you...make sure you use that while you're in Cambridge...You gotta impress them there, you know. Consider this as an advanced Christmas gift and going away present. I have low EQ, so I can't wait to give this to you", Sei blabbered with an obvious excitement caused by her gift.

Youko raised her eyebrows and stared at the small rectangular box. Sei grinned proudly and muttered, "open it"

The smile on Youko's face disappeared and was replaced by a tearful expression. "Sei..."

Sei chuckled. "You deserve something like that, at the very least, Attorney Mizuno"

Youko wiped away a tear and smiled at the pair of small pearl earrings and a thin gold necklace with a pearl pendant. "This must have cost you a fortune"

"Like you said, what would the story be without you?"

"This is from the prize money?"

Sei nodded. "Don't worry, I didn't splurge it all on that. I left some for myself"

"What about Sachiko?"

Sei's smile disappeared. "I don't want to think of giving her anything material. It's a bit hard when she can afford everything"

"Doesn't mean she wouldn't appreciate something from you"

"Yeah...I know"

"Don't let this particular situation change how you feel for her, Sei"

"I'm not at all...but can I be allowed to be hurt for now?"

Youko pursed her lips and gazed at Sei in pity. The blonde girl didn't wait for Youko to say something, she just wanted to change the topic as fast as possible. She stood up and asked. "Well? Am I ready or what?"

Youko stood up and scrutinized Sei one more time. She smiled and nodded. "You're ready, except that you're barefoot"

"Oh...yeah", Sei chuckled. While she ran to get her shoes, a knock was heard. "Youko! Can you get that? It could be Hideyo-sama already"

"Yeah, alright", Youko replied, lazily walking towards the door. "Hello"

"Uh, hello, is Sei here?", Hideyo asked.

Youko smiled and let her in. "You must be Hideyo-sama, I'm Youko, Sei's friend...she'll be ready in a few minutes"

Hideyo smiled back and entered Sei's apartment. "Please, just call me Hideyo. It's only Sei-chan who insists on being formal. Finally, we've met. I've heard so much about you. I was beginning to think Sei-chan had an imaginary perfect friend"

"Ah well, Sei exaggerates at times" Youko chuckled. "Sei! Hideyo's is here, come out of your wormhole already!"

"I'm coming! Geez", Sei shouted back. Hideyo and Youko both chuckled at the obvious stalling tactics of a very nervous Sei.

"Well, well. No words can describe my Sei-chan right now", Hideyo remarked. "You really make me feel like a proud mother", she said, winking at Youko, who in return snickered in agreement.

---

Sachiko gazed at the starless sky from her balcony, and glanced at her wristwatch. Right about now, Sei must be receiving her award, and giving her acceptance speech. After that day, Sei bounced back and things went about normally again, but Sachiko knew Sei was hurting in silence. When Sachiko offered to stay at her apartment and wait for her return from the event, Sei made an excuse that Hideyo would probably want to celebrate after and that she might sleep over her place. Fear had taken over her since then. This could make Sei fully realize just how difficult their situation is, and she might just decide to walk away. Sachiko tried to fight it off by remembering Sei's promise that she will never leave her, and somehow, despite the friction between the two of them, Sei's words put Sachiko at ease.

She tried to imagine how Sei looked like, what dress she was wearing. Sachiko was one hundred percent sure that whatever it was, Sei would stand out for all the right reasons, and that everyone will be admiring her for both talent and beauty. _This is how it's going to be...I won't be there at the most important moments of her life...Someone else will always take my place...and that would be what Sei-san will remember..._

_---_

The tension caused by the awarding ceremony died a natural death as days went by. Sei acted as if the ceremony did not even exist, not uttering a single work describing how it went about. Sachiko decided it was for the best not to bring it up anymore.

A new sense of dread however filled her. It was only a week left before Christmas, and more importantly, Sei's birthday, but she has yet to think of a perfect gift or even a way to celebrate it. She felt even more worried when she began to doubt if Sei even wanted to celebrate it in the first place, knowing what it all represented before. Sei had made it a point to let Sachiko know and feel that she has fully recovered from Shiori, but that didn't automatically mean she was over the pain. And even if, assuming Sei was willing to celebrate, Sachiko had no idea where to begin. She had always relied on Sei to be in charge of things, even though Sei has always considered her preferences first, it was always the older girl who was left to execute. And now, if there will be a celebration, Sachiko was determined to take care of everything, at the very least, to make up for her absences and what she believed as her inability to return Sei's love in full.

She had tried to fish for information, but Sei did not exhibit any form of particular emotion that would give Sachiko something to work with.

"_Sei-san, where would you be spending the holidays?"_

_ "Oh, just here"_

_ 'With your parents?"_

_ "Nah, that's too much of a hassle for them to go back here"_

_ "Oh that's right, your father has been an expat for awhile now"_

_ "Yeah. That's fine. I'm pretty used to being without them"_

_ "Okay..."_

_ "Why do you ask?"_

_ "No reason...I mean, I wanted to know if we could uhm, spend the holidays together"_

_ "You're not going out of town?"_

_ "No..."_

_ "Well, then. That's settled. We'll spend the holidays together"_

She began brainstorming but ended up with a blank sheet of paper. Sachiko thought of asking her onee-sama for advice, however, she had been very busy with her exchange program preparations. Shimako should be the next logical choice, but somehow, she didn't know how to approach her as they have had very little encounter in the past. "Yumi..." Sachiko muttered to herself. "Yumi would know what to do" She stood up and then sat down immediately. "Yumi has no idea...". Sachiko sighed. It had been painful for her not be to honest with her petite seour, but she had decided not to disclose the nature of her relationship with Sei to Yumi, because she was more than sure other people would know through her inability to keep a straight face. She, however, was left with no choice. Hideyo was out of the question. She had been jealous of Hideyo's emotional intimacy with Sei since the beginning, and that jealousy turned into bitterness because of the awarding ceremony. If Sei had decided to bring her Onee-sama, she wouldn't have hurt so much, Sachiko thought. "Yumi, then", she said.

---

"Onee-sama! I'm so glad you decided to drop by", a smiling Yumi exclaimed. Sachiko decided to pay Yumi a visit at home, it was safer to talk to her here than at the Rose Mansion.

"I'm sorry for being here under short notice, Yumi...but I needed to speak with you about something very important"

Yumi held Sachiko's hand. "Let's go to my room then, Onee-sama". Sachiko immediately sat down on Yumi's bed while her petite seour closed the door behind her. "So, Onee-sama, what brings you here?"

"Yumi..I need to...tell you something about...I'm afraid you'd see me differently after this..."

Yumi sat down next to her and offered a comforting smile and hug. "Onee-sama, there is nothing that you can say or do that will make me think of you differently"

Sachiko closed her eyes and smiled. Those were the only words she needed to her from her petite seour. "Yumi...Sei-san and I...we...we" Sachiko breathed in, she had no idea how difficult it would be to tell Yumi about this. It was one thing to answer her onee-sama's question. It was another thing to voluntarily say it. Yumi's eyes however, told her it was alright to just say what was in her heart. "Yumi...Sei-san and I are in love with each other"

Yumi blinked several times at Sachiko, as if waiting for something else. "And?"

"What do you mean, 'and'? That's it...this is the point where you're suppose to turn pale and faint"

"Onee-sama, why should I faint? That only happens to me when I'm extremely shocked at things I did not expect to happen"

"Eh? But..."

Yumi sighed and chuckled. "Onee-sama, I'm not as smart as you, but I'm not at dim bulb either. That was far too obvious for me."

Sachiko was shocked. "Is it?"

"For others, no. I don't think Yoshino and Rei for example have an idea.", Yumi said, understanding Sachiko's fear. "But Onee-sama, I'm your petite seour. Did you really believe your actions can escape me? You practically worship Sei-sama when you talk to me on the phone. You're worse than me when we first became seours. Remember at the Rose Mansion? You used to be easily irked by Sei-sama's actions. But when you allowed her to be that physically close to you without even feigning anger, I knew at that point, your feelings for her were different from my admiration for you"

"Why didn't you say anything?", Sachiko protested.

Yumi laughed. "Why should I, Onee-sama? You're the only one who forces me to speak my mind. I've always allowed you to walk your own pace and just wait for you to come around"

"But Yumi...I'd...I'd like to know how you feel about this..."

"Well", Yumi began with a contemplative expression. "At first, I was shocked. To tell you the truth, I never imagined you to be...well...attracted to women. Had I known, I would've made a move when I still held a crush on you"

"Yumi!", Sachiko exclaimed, with a tinge of red showing on her face.

Yumi laughed again. "Onee-sama is too excitable. I am kidding. You're still as serious as before, I'm surprised Sei-sama hasn't rubbed off her crass humor on you"

Sachiko glared at Yumi which seemed to say now is not the right time for jokes. Yumi caught up with it and held her hands up. "Alright, alright...okay, so...I was shocked...and then I worried of course. Sei-sama had been terribly hurt in the past, and your situation, being engaged to Suguru-sama and being an Ogasawara, would make it more difficult for the both of you"

Sachiko sighed. Yumi was spot on, but then again, the problems were obvious to begin with.

"However", Yumi continued. "My worry disappeared after giving it much thought"

Sachiko's brows were raised. "Really?"

"Sei-sama...may act immaturely most of the time...but she rises above the occasion when she is needed to..."

Sachiko smiled in agreement, but lost that smile when Yumi continued. "So...the only real problem I see is if you two allow your situation to take over your relationship".

"But we can't just..."

"No, no you can't, can you? That's not what I meant...I simply mean, _given_ the impediments, if you allow that to cause rift between the two of you. But like I said, Sei-sama rises above the occasion."

"You think so highly of Sei-san, Yumi", Sachiko said in a genuinely amused tone.

Yumi chuckled and smiled. "Let's just say, I've had first hand encounters with that side of her."

Sachiko frowned. "Exactly, what do you mean by first hand encounters?" Sachiko's thoughts traveled back to the time Yumi ran away from her and Sei took care of Yumi. _Come to think of it, what happened after that with Yumi and Sei-san? Where did she take Yumi?!_

"Onee-sama is still a very jealous and paranoid person, I see", Yumi quipped with a smirk. "Do not worry, Onee-sama. I may have kissed her, but she did not take advantage of that, as I have said, she rises above the occasion", she ended with a devious chuckle.

Sachiko's eyes bulged. "You...you kissed her?! Yumi!!!"

Yumi's laughter could not be contained any more. "On the cheek, Onee-sama. Only on the cheek", she managed to say in between fits of laughter.

"Is she really that magnetic?" Sachiko asked in frustration. She had always known that so many girls at Lilian had a huge crush on Sei, but not to this extent.

"No, but she can be very persuasive"

"Gah! She asked you to kiss her?! Why that..."'

"Yes, but I think she did not really expect me to do so. You should've seen her deer on headlights expression", a victorious Yumi remarked.

Sachiko sighed in defeat and then eventually laughed. Sei would've done everything to tease Yumi, and she probably asked her to give a kiss precisely for that. Sei must have been shocked that Yumi had actually done it. That's her petite seour, free spirited, no inhibitions to show her affection, and unafraid to love in the fullest extent. This is what Sei saw in Yumi, now Sachiko wondered what Sei saw in her. Perhaps the complete opposite of Yumi, and if so, how could Sei possibly fall in love with the likes of her? She had been described by her onee-sama as someone who walks with the whole world on her shoulder. That question never occurred before, because she was so caught up on her own feelings towards Sei. What if Sei merely felt pity towards her and this was her onee-sama's way of pulling the strings?

"Onee-sama..." Yumi said, reading Sachiko's grim expression. "Try not to think too much"

Sachiko forced a smile and nodded. "If my petite seour thinks I don't have anything to worry about, then I should listen...however...I do have one worry that needs help from you"

"And that is?"

"Sei-san's birthday...what should I do?"

"Ah, well, now _that_ requires a lot of thinking", Yumi said with a grin.

---

A/N: A long one again. But I just felt they fit together for purposes of flow and continuity. R & R please :)


	10. Chapter 10

"Sa-chan? Please don't tell me you're into kinky stuff now" Sei said anxiously as she waited for Sachiko to open the door of her apartment. Sachiko blindfolded Sei as they walked through the hall of her apartment floor. It was Christmas eve and Sachiko managed to convince her parents to spend the holidays out of the country, to somewhere sunny and bright, leaving Sachiko alone to spend it with Sei. Yumi had suggested that given Sei's attitude towards Christmas and birthday, it would be best to simply have a small get together. What was more important, according to Yumi would be that Sei's real birthday should be spend by just the two of them, thus, the dinner was set on Christmas eve.

The most difficult part was deciding on what to give Sei as a Christmas and birthday present. Sachiko, out of decency, did not express her regret to Yumi for not having waited till Christmas to give her physical self to Sei. That would've been a perfect gift, she thought. But then again, it wasn't really much regret since she really couldn't wait any longer and it was well worth it. She had trouble finding something that Sei would truly appreciate, and that she wanted it to be very personal. In the end, a flash of brilliance came over her, though it required two things she avoided, getting Hideyo's help and pulling some strings as an Ogasawara. But if that meant giving Sei the perfect present, then so be it, she decided.

Sachiko slowly removed Sei's blindfold and turned on the lights. "SURPRISE!!!" Everyone exclaimed to a stunned Sei. "MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"

Sei looked around her apartment and saw holiday decorations and a big banner that wrote "Happy Birthday, Dirty Old Man" that made her shake her head and laugh. She gazed at Sachiko and grinned. "How in the world did you manage to sneak them all in here?"

Sachiko smiled and shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sei-san. I'm as surprised as you. I had a different idea with that blindfold, as you have suggested earlier"

Sei blushed and glanced at Yumi, Yoshino and Rei. "Err...Sa-chan"

Yoshino laughed loudly. "Sei-sama, you don't have to be prude on us. It doesn't suit you"

Sachiko giggled. "It's alright, Sei-san. We can trust everyone in this room, right?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Sachiko had given Yumi the green light to tell Yoshino and Rei. Sachiko felt that, they had the right to know, especially Rei, who had looked out for her in high school. Sei was, however, especially surprised that Hideyo was there too. She smiled at Sachiko to show her appreciation, knowing how the latter felt for her mentor. Sachiko returned the smile and kissed her on the cheek. "Happy birthday, Sei-san. I love you", she whispered.

In the midst of all the laughing and teasing, Youko stepped out of Sei's balcony and took a sip from her wine. She smiled at the thought of leaving Sei this way, happy and with a sense of security coming from her friends. In the darkness, she failed to see Hideyo smoking in the corner until her movements made a sound. "Hideyo", she smiled though surprised at both her presence and the fact that she was smoking.

"I don't let Sei-chan see this", she grinned while holding up the cigarette stick. "Has she ever given you her Darth Vader look? It can be quite scary you know"

Youko laughed. "No, she hasn't"

"Ah well, she has no reason to glare at you that way. From the get go of our mentoring, she had not uttered a single negative word about you, except meddler, but only if you consider that an insult"

Youko grinned and shook her head. "That's Sei for you. Defining me in one word"

"Yes, that's her folly"

Youko scrutinized the woman in front of her, unsure of how to take her statement.

"What I said before was true. I've looked forward to meeting you", Hideyo remarked nonchalantly when her last statement was met with silence.

Youko all of a sudden felt disarmed and conscious of her surroundings. Her feet started shuffling and she found herself tucking her hair behind her ears. "Because you think I'm Sei's imaginary friend", she finally uttered.

"Imaginary perfect friend", Hideyo corrected. "You can remove the imaginary now though, since I am sure you are real", she teased.

Youko nervously snickered and took a sip from her glass of wine with the implication of Hideyo thinking she is perfect.

"You're leaving, I heard", she said.

"Yes, for a year"

"No wonder Sei-chan was grumbling about it. I have not seen her display so much petulance before"

"I had been wondering exactly what Sei tells you about me"

"I know that you're the one who saved her several times already. _And _I also know that you're the one whom she stupidly can't find herself falling in love with"

Youko shook her head. "Sei's not stupid, she's just--"

"Don't bother. You'll always be in that unfortunate position of defending Sei-chan to everyone", Hideyo interjected. "But...One man's cast-off is another man's potential treasure", Hideyo remarked as she gazed at Youko admiringly.

Youko blushed profusely, something that she is not used to doing. Hideyo stubbed her cigarette and walked past Youko. "Too bad for me, I'd have to wait for a year", Hideyo whispered in Youko's ear, leaving her utterly flushed as the older girl returned to the gathering.

"Youko? Are you alright? Too much wine?" Sei said as she popped her head outside the balcony. She had been observing curiously the two from the inside and almost had a heart attack when she saw her mentor lean dangerously close to Youko. "Your face is all red"

Youko cupped her face and felt it warm despite the cold weather. "Err, no, Sei. I'm alright"

Sei raised her eyebrows. "What did Hideyo-sama tell you?", she asked.

Youko found herself smiling. "Nothing...she...just wished me luck for my exchange program"

"Okay...Well, come in. It's getting colder" Sei said, deciding to drop the matter, despite her suspicions over Youko's behavior.

---

Sei grinned like a cat that just ate a canary at the gifts piled in front of her after everyone has left. It was almost midnight, and Sachiko was the only one left beside her, leaning over her shoulders. "Sa-chan...I can't thank you enough"

Sachiko shook her head and smiled. "There's no need to, Sei-san". She sat up and took one box and gave it to Sei. "Well, come on, open them up"

"Okay" Sei said obediently. She took the box from Sachiko's hand and read the card. "This one's from Shimako"

One by one, Sei opened her gifts until it was a few minutes before midnight. When everything was in order, Sachiko stood up and got her gift. She blushed and handed over what seemed to be a book wrapped in an elegant paper. Sei waited for Sachiko to sit down next to her before she began ripping the paper apart. Her mouth was left agape at the book she was holding. It was a professionally published and bound book of her journal, complete with book jacket, that she submits to Hideyo. "Sa-chan, this is..."

Sachiko smiled at Sei who still looked positively stunned at what she was holding. "One day, that book will be read by all...but right now, what you have there is the very first edition and copy of the Satou Sei collection of literary works. That's definitely not edited, so how you have written it, is precisely what appears in that book. It's a replica of your journals"

Sei smiled and shook her head in disbelief. "You actually asked Hideyo-sama for this?"

"I didn't know it was in the form of a journal...but it made my life easier and the publisher's...you said before, this is really what you want to do...to get your works published. I wanted to be the first to give you that dream"

Sei could not formulate a coherent thought in her head to express her gratitude and so she simply kissed Sachiko, hoping that would cover for her inability to speak. There was a certain worry though at the back of her mind, and that was if Sachiko has read her stories, poems and dabbles about Youko. Sachiko held on to Sei's head as she kissed back, not wanting it to stop. As they paused for air, Sachiko whispered as if she has read Sei's mind, "I...haven't read it myself...I controlled myself from opening it...I wasn't sure if you were ready to bare your raw feelings and thoughts written there"

Sei smiled and placed her arm around Sachiko and said, "You made me agree to not give each other presents this Christmas...you are such a cheater...now I don't have anything to give you"

"Yes you do..." She laid down on Sei's lap and held the book. "..You can choose which ones you're ready to share...just...read me something from here"

---

Sei woke up to the smell of coffee, and bacon being baked, not fried. She groaned as she shifted her body caused by the floor's stiffness. Sei and Sachiko fell asleep on her living room while she read her some of what she had written. "Sa-chan", she mumbled while rubbing her eyes, "You are heaven sent".

"Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. Why don't you pour us some coffee, sleepy head" Sachiko smiled as she took out the bacon from Sei's oven, which she suspected had never been used before. They may not be able to live like this all the time, but for the time being, Sachiko was determined to play house with Sei. When Sei drew nearer, Sachiko kissed and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Happy birthday, again"

"Thanks, I love you", Sei replied. "Best birthday ever"

"Well, that's good to know". Sachiko placed the pieces of bacon on a plate and served it to a very hungry Sei. "Am I going to be a good wife, or what?"

"The greatest", Sei muttered in between chewing. "But try not make breakfast for Suguru to be as good as this. In fact, I hope you make them a little burnt every time for him. I hear that can cause cancer"

"I doubt if he'll even care" Sachiko said, taking a bite from her own plate. "Sei-san...what do you think about us...leaving the country?"

Sei's chewing slowed down dramatically and stared at her. Sachiko immediately followed her statement, "we could go to Europe...they seem to be more accepting of people like us, Onee-sama told me before"

Sei sighed and took a sip from her coffee before answering. "I don't know, Sa-chan..."

"You were very willing to run away with Shiori...", Sachiko replied sadly.

"Yes, and that would've been a huge mistake had it pushed through"

"We could get jobs there, I'm sure there's something we'll find"

"Leaving your family and cutting off all ties would be extremely difficult, Sa-chan...we're both not used to living on mere survival. What can I feed you as a drop out college student?"

"I just...want to spend my life with you. Is that too much to ask?"

Sei smiled and held Sachiko's hand. "No...it's not...but right now, things will be more difficult for us if we don't roll with the punches. We need time to--"

"But we don't have time, Sei-san...after I graduate, I will be married to Suguru-san. And I don't want to put you at the same level of a mistress"

"By the time you're about to get married... I've graduated already, and hopefully more ready to take you wherever you want to live before they can even fit you in a gown"

Sachiko's eyes brightened. "You...you're not opposed to the idea of us leaving?"

"Did I say I were? Tsk, Sa-chan, you need to listen more carefully", Sei teased.

"But you said running away with Shiori would've been a mistake"

"Yeah, considering we were both minors at the time... as I was saying...we need time...and we have it...we're both just not ready yet...don't rush...you think too much, my dear Sa-chan", Sei said, kissing Sachiko's head.

That's the second time she had been told of thinking too much, and that made her smile. Sachiko sighed in relief, and happily ate her breakfast. Sei did the same, though hers was mere pretend. Her conscience was berating her for the first potential false promise she had ever given Sachiko. She could not possibly provide Sachiko with the same lifestyle she is used to, and take her away from the confines of a good life her family gives her. Time is on her side, but that time she has is for Sachiko to mature and learn to accept their fate. They are meant to be kept in the dark and not to brought out in broad daylight. This was a simple fact of life, that Sei prepared herself to be in since the day she first kissed Sachiko. Nevertheless, perhaps, just perhaps, she can try, if that is really what Sachiko wants in order to be happy.

---

Sei was prepared to be kept in the dark, but not to be fully taken for granted. The weeks following Christmas was harrowing for her as Sachiko became more and more immersed in their company. But Sei, being Sei, she tried her best to keep her mouth shut and not complain, simply waiting for Sachiko's spare time. It didn't help that Youko has already left, and so the many times her best friend has called, Sei pretended for everything to be alright. The last thing Youko needed was to worry about her, and Youko does not deserve that at all. Shimako was her only source of comfort, but going to the Rose Mansion meant seeing Yumi, and surprisingly, she had developed an aversion to seeing Sachiko's petite seour for the reason that it made her miss Sachiko more.

It certainly did not help that Hideyo began complaining again about her work being more and more sinister. "Death, depression, and separation. Sei-chan, are you in some form of drugs?", that was her usual quip nowadays.

Sei simply looked down and stared at the pile of papers in front of her. "To write something happy would mean I am lying, Hideyo-sama. What is the point in that?"

"Hope. Optimism. That's the point, unless you don't have those in you anymore."

Sei looked away. God knows why this woman has that effect on her, she simply cannot hide her emotions. "Sei-chan? I don't normally go this far in probing, but is there something wrong between you and Sachiko-san? Or am I simply being too dense and pointing out the obvious?"

"It's now February, I have only seen her for a total of 10 days since January 1st" She said while counting through her fingers, then slumped her shoulders."...and it's only here in school. I can't believe I've allowed myself to be this attached to her...when I have always reminded myself of her situation. Why do I constantly let my guard down with her?"

Hideyo moved closer and placed a hand on Sei's shoulder. "Well, that's quite obvious too. You're in love with her, so of course you've forgotten about putting up your walls"

"Does it really have to be this difficult?"

"Not always"

"I just...want to keep my mind off her"

"Sei-chan! Don't say things like that as if you have lost her completely!" It was the first time Hideyo truly admonished her, causing Sei to turn pale and unable to speak. "Oh Sei-chan", Hideyo muttered while embracing her. "It's harder to be the strong one in a relationship...but you must not break, or else she will break too"

"Why is everyone so concerned of her feelings as if it's alright if I'm the one who gets hurt, just as long as it's not her?" Sei retorted with much spite, having been reminded of Youko's own reasoning in Hideyo's words.

Hideyo cupped Sei's face. "What makes you think I'm particularly concerned of her feelings? I'm concerned about _you_, Sei-chan. I know very much that if Sachiko-san gets hurt, you'll get hurt twice over. And that's why I don't want her to break. Am I wrong to assume that?"

Sei shook her head. "No...no you're not"

"Well then...don't complain anymore..either you put up with this, or you don't. What's it gonna be?"

Sei let out a small smile and in between sobs, she managed to answer, "I'm putting up with this..."

"Good. I know you would", Hideyo said with a proud smile. "I have only one request Sei-chan"

"What is it?"

"Find a way to grow and live on your own, and not be dependent on the light she gives...don't let her be another Shiori...don't make one person be your _only_ source of happiness and sorrow. There's a whole world waiting out there for you, Sei-chan, so explore it and don't stop until you've ran out of friendly faces". She stood up and handed a letter from the Dean of the Literature department, leaving Sei to contemplate on what was written.

---

Sachiko sat down quietly while waiting for class to begin fighting off her exhaustion from studying and working at the same time. She wished for Sei to just swoop her away from where she is seated and take her somewhere else where it would be just the two of them. Her thoughts were interrupted when a bunch of her classmates entered the room with so much buzz.

"Where you able to enlist?"

"No! I ran out of slots! It's just for 15 students"

"Argh! Now I won't have the chance to be that close with her!"

Rena and Konomi, the first two girls Sachiko met in Lilian University, sat down next to her, laughing at the other girls' frustration. "What's happening?", Sachiko asked.

Rena looked at her like she was a stranger. "Are you living under a rock, Sachiko?"

Konomi giggled. "You didn't hear? Sei-sama is now offering an after class lecture series on American literature"

Sachiko sat up, seemingly shocked at this news. "Lecture? She's...teaching now? Is that even possible when she's just a sophomore?"

Rena laughed. "Sachiko, you need to spend more time in school to know how our university works. She's not really teaching...it's an extension program of the literature department. They allow certain qualified students to handle a so-called class for students from different courses who have an interest in literature. Call it their charity work to enlighten us with the finer things in life"

"And Sei-sama recently won _another_ award, so that just made her highly qualified", Konomi added.

Sachiko looked more confused than ever. "Another...award?"

"Yeah...she won the Nekusuto Shō, right? Well, she just got cited in another literary award, whose name I forget right now. But anyway, point is, Sei-sama's class has been the talk of the town. Now, I suspect most students who fought tooth and nail to get in aren't really that interested in literature". Rena and Konomi laughed together.

"Are you enlisted?" Sachiko inquired with a sudden surge of envy to those students who would be near Sei.

Konomi shook her head. "I can't make heads or tails with Faulkner, that will be just a complete waste of my time"

"The students who enlist would be required to write and get feedback from Sei-sama. _That's _why they would kill just to be her "student". But it's technically open for everyone to drop by and listen to the discussions", Rena explained and wistfully added. "Me? I plan to sit-in every now and then, just to stare at her face"

They both laughed again and agreed to the idea, even going so far as suggesting to bring a camera and take photos of Sei.

Sachiko's mind was whirling in confusion. How come she didn't know of these things? Another award? An after school lecture series? Moreover, she was slowly feeling angry at Sei for accepting an after school activity that would hinder them from further seeing each other. It's bad enough that barely see each other, and now Sei would make it even less possible. How could she?

Sachiko was in a hurry during lunch but told her they needed to talk, and so Sei sat down and waited patiently under their usual spot in the University despite the still chilly weather. Sei grinned the moment she saw Sachiko's silhouette walk near her, only to be met by a cold expression. "Congratulations. I heard you won another award", she said flatly.

Sei opened and closed her mouth, unable to register why Sachiko was behaving that way. "Guess how I found out?", Sachiko continued.

Sei just simply stared at Sachiko, resisting the urge to match her temper, but her silence only fueled Sachiko's anger. "I had to know, through my classmates. Why? Because I also found out from _them_ that your evening schedule will be extremely full from now on"

Sei attempted to keep her cool and shift the mood. She grinned then spoke. "Yeah...our Dean offered me...and I just couldn't refuse. See, they're going to--"

"You're really happy about this, aren't you? Being surrounded by your fans who are drooling over you, and god knows what else is going through their minds", Sachiko snapped. "I bet you'll really have a wonderful time"

Sei was taken aback by Sachiko's words and tried to reach for her. "Sa-chan..."

"Don't!" Sachiko exclaimed under gritted teeth. "Call me that. Stop being so patronizing"

Sei closed her eyes and breathed in, an exercise she had learned in order to control her emotions. But it was too painful, and so the only thing she could do was walk away, or else she might say something that she will soon regret. She paused for a moment when she heard Sachiko inject her final venom. "Don't expect me to run after you. I'm not Mizuno Youko". Sei shook her head and continued to walk away, leaving Sachiko alone, miserable and heartbroken.

_---_

A/N: Alright, I've had a good weekend so update after this chapter will definitely come up asap :D

R& R please.


	11. Chapter 11

It was only when she was alone in her room, that Sachiko began to look back at the weeks that went by. She had been so caught up with fully taking on the role of the heir to the Ogasawara business. She slowly began enjoying it, despite the constant fly in her soup that goes by the name of Suguru. It was thanks to Sei that she had actually learned to open her mind to this role who kept an upbeat attitude whenever she started to complain. "_Aww Sa-chan. You should see it as something fun. You'll see, when you start seeing it in a good way, it'll stop being a burden to you"_, she would always say. And she never complained, even if during lunch, their time together was constantly interrupted by a call on her cellphone. Sei would grin proudly and remark, "_That's my Sa-chan. The future top executive of this country"_, as soon as the phone call is over.

Sachiko suddenly gasped as something flashed through her mind. A few days ago, Sei called her up in the office and sounded so excited.

_ "Sa-chan! You won't believe what just--"_

_ "Sei-san...can I call you back later? I have uhm..."_

_ "Ohhh...bad time huh? So sorry...alright! Call me later! Bye bye!"_

And she never called back. Sachiko got home and felt so exhausted having to sit in several meetings with her father. The next day, she had totally forgotten about it, but Sei never mentioned it again. Could her award be what she wanted to say? What was it that Sei wanted to tell her why she accepted the lecture job? Sachiko now felt so much regret and would've given everything just to take back what she said earlier. She hesitantly picked up the phone and dialed Sei's number. After a dozen rings or so, Sachiko gave up, knowing either Sei was not home or she is not ready to speak with her. But when will Sei be ready?

---

It had been 3 days since that unfortunate incident, and still Sachiko has yet to hear a word from Sei. She was beginning to feel hopeless about it, and started believing that Sei walking away from her was no longer simply literal. Her days were filled with school and office work, but the moment she is alone at night, panic starts to kick in. She tried every night to call, but still no answer. She mentally cursed Sei's caller ID, allowing Sei to sift through her calls. Sachiko was walking towards the literature building, hoping that there, she would catch Sei and force her to talk. It was eerily quiet in the building, primarily because it was Wednesday, and most students were out. There, she stood in front of the Lit club office and slowly opened the door. She found Sei alone, immersed in a pile of books scattered all over the table. "Sei-san...", Sachiko mumbled.

Sei looked up and had an unreadable expression. "Sachiko"

Sachiko winced at how she was called, but Sei was not to blame. She walked slowly inside and closed the door behind her. "Sei-san...I...how have you been?"

"Just well, thank you", Sei replied, not leaving her focus on the book in front of her.

"Busy with your lectures?". Sachiko tried to keep a pleasant tone, wanting to just strike up a conversation first.

"Yes", Sei answered back curtly.

"Oh...alright...I guess I'll, uh, leave you alone...have a good day, Sei-san"

"Have a good day too, Sachiko"

Sachiko wanted to leave, but her feet just wouldn't let her. Sei noticed as well that she hasn't left, and turned her attention towards Sachiko. "Do you need anything?"

"You...", Sachiko muttered sadly. Her tears began to fall but wiped it away immediately. "I need you...and I'm sorry...so sorry for having hurt you that way"

Sei remained seated though her expression changed to being torn between wanting to comfort Sachiko and protecting herself. In the end, it was Sachiko who walked towards Sei and knelt in front of her, reaching out and holding Sei's hands. "Please...forgive me...I beg of you"

If there is one thing that Sei couldn't take, it's Sachiko being so vulnerable and weak. Sei sat down in front of Sachiko and hugged her. "Eh? Don't kneel down like that, I'm not Maria-sama". This only made Sachiko cry harder. "Shh..Don't cry..."

"Please tell me you've forgiven me...and that it's not over between us". Sei closed her eyes and spoke in a strained voice. "It's not..."

Sachiko sobbed. "I love you...I'm sorry"

Sei said nothing but simply held on to Sachiko. She stayed put till Sachiko stopped crying. She finally smiled and stroked the younger girl's cheek. "You've got anger issues, Sa-chan. Maybe kendo will do you some good...on second thought you might just whack me on the head, so maybe yoga would be better", she chuckled.

Sachiko laughed, albeit forced. _Sa-chan..._It felt like knife cutting through her heart. It was better than being formal, but the way Sei says it now, just didn't evoke the same affection anymore. It's not over, Sei said, yet, she didn't say whether she was forgiven. It will probably take time, though Sachiko had no idea what else to do.

---

Sachiko negotiated with her father free up certain days, and gave a lame excuse of wanting to have co-curricular activities so that she will have a balanced life. Her father readily agreed, for he didn't want Sachiko to burn out immediately--his share of the company is dependent on Sachiko, after all. It was Friday, a few days after she broke down inside the lit club office. Right after that, Sei made it clear that it's no longer a problem for her and that things will go back to normal. Sachiko however, could detect a change in her girlfriend but opted not to push it further. It was her mistake and no one else to blame, and so she was willing to swallow the bitter pill called humility and be the one to pursue Sei this time. It was definitely something new for her, though she found it strangely enjoyable. She sat on one corner outside a room, and waited for Sei to finish her after school lecture.

Sei looked visibly surprised seeing Sachiko at the hallway. She left the other students and their discussion on medieval literature with a swift, "uh, just try and read Aristotle's discussion on virtue, that should give you a guide on Dante's Inferno. See you next week". She jogged towards Sachiko and asked, "Sa-chan, is something wrong? Why are you still here?"

"Nothing...is waiting for you considered wrong now?", she said with a flirtatious smile.

"What's that behind your back?"

Sachiko pulled out from behind her back a very expensive journal. Sei took the journal and mumbled a thanks to Sachiko.

"I don't think I need a reason to give something to the person I love", Sachiko replied when Sei asked why she gave a gift. She smiled and held Sei's wrist. "I won't go to work today...I thought we could spend time alone in your apartment...it's been a while since...you know". Sachiko blushed at her own suggestion.

Sei smiled and nodded. "Yeah...I know...my Wii's getting rusty already. I actually have a couple of new games that I picked out just for you"

"Right...Wii"

She stared at Sei blankly as the blonde girl gathered their bags and placed it on the backseat. Sighing, she thought to herself, _This is going to be a long apology. _

_---_

The following Monday was agonizing for Sachiko as it was Valentine's Day. She sneered at every red heart posted on establishments she passed by everyday going to school. Sei seemed to have been very oblivious of the occasion, and not a single piece of chocolate was given to her. The whole week was about chasing Sei, though to be fair to the blonde girl, she was almost always easily found, as if simply testing Sachiko's patience. Friday arrived slowly and Sachiko decided to just give up on the idea of celebrating Valentine's Day, no matter how late it was, with Sei. Still, she freed up her friday, but instead of just waiting for Sei outside, Sachiko quietly slipped inside the auditorium. Sei was giving her lecture on Edna St. Vincent Millay, one of the most important female authors of modern times Sei's class had to be moved to a bigger venue to accommodate other students, who simply wished to listen or, "stare" as Sei sat on the table. She had a content smile and her eyes were gleaming as she explained the structure and style of the author. Hideyo was sitting at the back most row and waived at Sachiko. "She's amazing", Hideyo whispered the moment Sachiko sat down. "I'm surprised this is the first time I've seen you seat-in". Sachiko smiled sheepishly and mumbled, "down time with Sei-san".

"Ah", Hideyo replied with an amused smile. "Everything alright now?"

"I...well...I don't think we're fully alright...but I'm working on it", Sachiko said, looking every inch like the guilty party.

"You're looking at a potential tenured faculty, Sachiko-san. I think Sei-chan has found her calling", Hideyo said, changing the topic to make Sachiko feel more comfortable.

Sachiko smiled proudly. Sei was really good in teaching, that even she began to understand modern literature in just a few minutes of hearing her talk, she thought to herself. After calling it a day, Hideyo stood up and tugged Sachiko's hand. "Come on, let's go down and talk to her. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know you didn't fall asleep in her lecture"

"Sa-chan...Hideyo-sama...I didn't notice you two were here". Sei looked embarrassed at the thought of them watching her lecture. "That face is the reason why I never said I'd be observing. I'm pretty sure you would've stammered all through out", Hideyo retorted. "You were pretty good, Sei-chan. I couldn't have given a better lecture" Then she whispered to Sachiko, "I hate having to explain myself dozens of times to the...mmm...novice. I'm elitist that way"

"You've never done something like this, Hideyo-sama?"

She shook her head emphatically. "It takes a special person to appreciate the value of teaching and be good at it. I'm just a writer"

Sachiko felt prouder for Sei after Hideyo's revelation. She wistfully looked on at Sei who was busily gathering her things. "Sei-chan", Hideyo spoke again. "Do you have the time for your old mentor? It's my birthday and I feel like celebrating it again after 3 years"

Sei looked horrified that she almost dropped the pile of papers in her arms. "Birthday?"

"Yes, well. All human beings have one", Hideyo responded with a smirk.

"Yes...I have the time...of course I have the time". Sei went crimson red. This was utterly humiliating for her to not know, nor never asked for her mentor's birthday. Hideyo was somewhat like an omnipotent demi-god for her and it never occurred to her that she's actually human with a birth date and place.

"Sachiko-san, how about you? Do you have the time?"

Sachiko was taken aback. She didn't expect an invitation, but nonetheless appreciated it. She had been trying to make it up with Sei, and perhaps, being open to Hideyo's friendship would be a good start. "I would love to...Happy Birthday, Hideyo-sama", she said, hugging the older girl as a greeting. Sei observed Sachiko's behavior and found it rather heartwarming, considering she harbored vile feelings over her mentor.

Hideyo chose an old fashioned American diner and sat on a booth. "Is this a Catholic school girl thing?", she asked the two girls in front of her.

"Eh? What do you mean, Hideyo-sama?"

"Like there's a big gap in between the two of you. I suppose to give space for the Holy Spirit?", Hideyo said with a devious smirk.

Sachiko blushed and Sei looked away. Hideyo, on the other hand, sighed and stood up. "I'll order for us", she said, then walked towards the bar, leaving the two confused lovers alone. Sei, since Sachiko apologized, had been lukewarm, leaving the younger girl grappling for words and actions in order to reel back the old Sei. If the emotional intimacy is in shambles, more so for the physical, thus, the awkward space in between them. No one dared make a move, Sei found the table napkin design very interesting, and Sachiko began playing chess with the salt and pepper shaker until Hideyo returned who looked flabbergasted at the two of them. "Look, you two, I'm not going to waste ti--Quick, hide me!" Hideyo turned pale and sneaked under the table.

Sei and Sachiko looked at each other in utter confusion. "Uh, Hideyo-sama?", Sachiko whispered. "Who are you hiding from?"

Sachiko saw a jaw-dropping gorgeous woman, about a few years older than Hideyo, walking towards their booth. She stopped at the middle, stooped down, grinned and waved at Hideyo. "Hey you, how's the view down there?"

Sei's mentor groaned. Defeated, she slowly returned to her seat and begrudgingly introduced the woman to Sachiko. "Sachiko-san...this is Ayako". Sei and Ayoko had apparently met before, and Sei only gave a short nod of acknowledgment. Sachiko became extremely curious, Sei's mentor was certainly out of character, and it seems to be directly caused by this Ayako person. The woman sat down beside Hideyo and scooted closer. "It's funny, isn't it, Hideyo-chan? It's your birthday, if I remember correctly, and I had to bump into here."

Hideyo's face turned crimson, which made Sachiko even more astonished. Ayako playfully pinched Hideyo's nose and stroked her cheek. "My Hideyo-chan is still the same. Still don't like public displays of affection?"

"Ergh, stop that", Hideyo grimaced while the other girl continued to coo at her.

Sei knocked her knuckles on the table and mumbled. "Hideyo-sama told you to stop it, so you better"

Ayoko merely grinned at Sei. "Hideyo-chan, you sure have a feisty little girl under your wing. Is she as feisty in--"

"Oh shut your mouth, Ayako", Hideyo snapped, who seemed to have stunned the older girl. "What do you want from me?"

"Why, just to catch up. I saw you from the window, and I just couldn't resist to see my old mentee again", Ayako replied, placing her fingers on Hideyo's chin.

Hideyo swatted Ayako's hand away from her. "Fine, let's go to another booth. I don't want them to hear anything that will come out of your mouth" She waited for Ayako to move and find another booth, before she smiled at Sei and muttered, "Thanks Sei-chan, I'll be alright. Drag me away if you must, if I don't come back in 15 minutes"

Sei was still seething when Hideyo left. Her irritation was transferred to the hapless table napkin that was crumpled into a ball. Sei was rarely seen this mad, except when Suguru was around aggravating Sachiko, but there was always Youko to calm her down. "That...bitch", Sei mumbled.

"Sei-san...", Sachiko said, admonishing the other girl with her choice of word.

"Ayako...she was her old mentor"

"They...looked like more than that to me"

Sei finally chuckled, her anger subsiding slowly. "Yeah...well...they used to be...well they were lovers. An extremely passionate couple if I made add"

Sachiko turned her head towards the two older women who chose to sit in another booth two places beside them.

"Passive-aggressive much, those two, but Hideyo-sama was like putty in her Ayako's hands. Then she got dumped unceremoniously,. She still loves pushing Hideyo-sama's buttons every now and then...I wonder though...Hideyo-sama seems to be able to resist her charms now". Sei thought about it for a few seconds and gave up, shrugging then focused her attention on her vanilla milkshake that had just been served.

Sachiko couldn't find the right words to say. Hideyo seemed so calm and collected, someone who would come across as a person who wouldn't take any sort of rubbish from anyone. "I never imagined her to be that way"

Sei gulped down her drink and replied while craning her neck to get a glimpse of her mentor and see whether she's doing fine. Ayako seems to have turned pale and meek, while Hideyo looked like she had the upper hand. "She's strong though...I don't think anyone could bounce back after that...but she's still very willing and open to trust people again...I don't think if that happened to me, I'll be able to do the same"

Sachiko bit her lip out of guilt, thinking that Sei's words were meant to hit her. "Are... you still mad at me?"

Sei almost snorted out her drink, not knowing where the question came from. "Would I be here with you, if I were?", Sei asked with her brows arched.

"I...I don't know...you've been very...distant"

Sei sighed and held Sachiko's hand underneath the table. "I'm not mad...I was never _really _mad at you...well...maybe just a tiny bit", she explained. "And I just wanted to give myself sometime to let go of those annoyingly negative feelings...but I'm okay now"

Sachiko nodded. Sei grinned at her, "You're a lot nicer to me when you're guilty like that though, so I'm gonna drag it out just a little longer, okay?"

Sachiko slapped Sei's shoulder and chuckled. "Oh so that's what it's all about?" She blushed afterwards and mumbled. " It's been nice though...pursuing you...being the one who spoils you, not the other way around"

"I might get used to it, careful"

"I don't mind...I really don't mind at all"

"Having so much fun?", Hideyo interrupted.

"That's less than 15 minutes", Sei said, looking at her wrist watch.

"Yeah, well, I don't have much to say to her anymore", she said nonchalantly. "where's our food? Service is so slow these days". Hideyo waved at the waiter and seductively smiled at him, motioning to follow up their orders. The cool, calm and collected girl is back to how she was and that made Sei smile. Things are looking up again. She squeezed Sachiko's hand that was placed on her lap and rubbed the younger girl's leg with her thumb. This caused Sachiko to blush profusely in return, and felt warm all over.

Hideyo chuckled after observing the two, who seemed to have finally fixed their problems while she was away. "Less than fifteen minutes", she said, while winking at the two of them.

---

Sei walked with Sachiko on their way back to her apartment without speaking, though the silence was more comfortable now than before. Passing by a flower stand, Sei told Sachiko to wait while she rummaged her pocket for some bills. She bought a white and red rose and gave them to Sachiko in a subtle manner, but whispered sweetly, "A very belated Happy Valentine's Day".

Sachiko took the flowers and intertwined the stems together, wrapping and tying them with the ribbons that went along with the purchase. "They look good together this way, don't they?". She placed the rose inside her coat pocket then held Sei's hand and leaned on her as they continued walking. "Sa-chan, we're in a public area", Sei reminded her.

"We'll be cautious again tomorrow, Sei-san...and maybe for the rest of our lives...", she replied, pressing her head deeper on Sei's shoulder. She let go of Sei's hand and wrapped her arm around the blonde girl''s waist. The distance that spanned between them during the last few weeks was more than what Sachiko could bear, and the feel of Sei's body next to hers was something she could not let go at whatever cost. "...just tonight...can we not care about the rest of the world?"

Sei smiled, placed her arm around Sachiko's shoulder and began walking with her once more. There's a lot to deal in their relationship and things to talk about and clarify, but Sachiko is right, Sei thought. Let this night simply be without worries.


	12. Chapter 12

Sachiko quietly slipped away from Sei's side and put on Sei's robe, heading towards the kitchen to make tea. She passed by Sei's foyer where a small shrine of photos were placed. Sachiko paused and smiled at the picture of her, her Onee-sama, Yumi, and Sei which was taken the day both her Onee-sama and Sei graduated. There was also a photo of Sei and Shimako, a glaring polar opposite of expressions.

Her eyes lingered towards a collage of photos that leaned on the ground, intended to be placed either on a later date or somewhere else. She picked it up and saw a collection of Youko and Sei's photos all taken during the tail-end of their first year in college, obvious from the way Sei's hair was growing back to shoulder length. Sachiko felt jealousy, envy, and guilt all at the same time. She closed her eyes and returned the frame in its original position, choosing to move ahead and make her tea. She stepped towards the balcony and there her thoughts lingered to her Onee-sama and their conversation before her departure for England.

---

_Sachiko...there's something I have to tell you before I leave. This will be cowardly of me, waiting for the last day so that I won't have to deal with much of your reaction towards what I will have say..._

You're being too cryptic Onee-sama...you'll only be gone for a year.

_I am hoping that a year would be enough for me..._

Onee-sama...

_Do you think, that your love for Sei is strong enough to not doubt her intentions? _

...Yes...I believe so...

_You must understand something before I fully tell you what I intended to say...Sei...is the type of person who will sacrifice her own happiness, in order to give happiness to the people she cares for deeply. _

I know that, Onee-sama...

_I have...I have loved Sei for the longest time in silence...until I could no longer bear keeping a facade in front of her...and so I became honest with her for the first time...You don't know how liberating that felt...It's like a whole world was lifted off my shoulders, and my heart began to heal after years of having it slowly pierced everyday just with her presence..._

Onee-sama...

_I confessed to her, not because I thought she felt the same way...on the contrary...I knew she would never be capable of loving me that way. I never asked why, nor did I hope that it will change. I was just simply sick and tired of keeping my feelings away from my best friend, while she, on the other hand, had been open to me about everything. Sei...being who she is...did not run away from me...instead...without any discussion, she took it upon herself to see if she's even capable of progressing a "relationship" with me...until it was me who stopped her from continuing it. It was too painful to see her struggle, I could see very much how she enjoyed time with me, but not in a romantic sense. It is ironic that I had to be the one to put down the law, to tell her enough already with trying to love me that way._

Onee-sama...I had no idea...I...you should've told me this earlier...

_And then what? You'd sacrifice your own feelings for me when a romantic relationship with Sei is a lost cause? Don't be stupid, Sachiko. I won't allow your and Sei's feelings to be wasted. I love both of you, and I want you two to be happy. I'm concerned, however, that you will take this against Sei...for not leveling with you about me...we have promised each other not to speak about my feelings towards her to anyone else. She has nothing to be guilty of, and so please don't make her. _

I understand, Onee-sama...

_Thank you, Sachiko..._

Is she the reason why you're leaving?

_Not entirely, but a big part of it...but never tell her that or she won't ever forgive herself...I need time to think of just myself...to know how it is not to be around her. _

I promise I won't tell her. And I hope, Onee-sama...that you'd...

_I hope so too, Sachiko. _

---

Sachiko felt warm hands envelope her waist, cutting of her reverie. "Can't sleep?"

She purred as Sei's breath touched her neck very lightly, making her knees weak. She turned around and wrapped her arms around Sei's neck and kissed her intensely, leaving the blonde girl visibly pleased. "I was thinking of Onee-sama..."

"Should that make me utterly grossed out that you kissed me that way, and yet you had Youko in mind?", Sei teased.

"No", Sachiko chuckled. "I was _not_ thinking of her while I was kissing you...I meant before you stepped out"

"Ah. She hasn't called you yet?"

"She has...a lot of times...I've just been feeling guilty...about dragging her name when I got--mmph"

Sei cut of Sachiko by kissing her. "Let's not talk about that anymore"

"Why couldn't you love her back?"

Sei was taken aback, and sighed. "Do you want me to?"

"No, no, no" Sachiko blushed and kissed Sei's neck. "I want you to love me...only me...I just..."

Sei smiled at Sachiko affectionately. "If I had the answer to that, I could solve the world's problems as well"

"Do you think it would have been easier if I didn't come into the picture?"

Sei thought about it for a few seconds, then shook her head. "If it weren't you...it would have probably been someone else...I think in Youko's twisted little mind...she's happy that it was you...it's easier for her to meddle that way, instead of a total stranger"

She held Sei tightly and spoke, "She loves you though, more than I could ever love you"

"Yeah...she does...but...it's not my business to decipher who can love me more and go with that...that's a foolhardy way of making decisions" Sei chuckled afterward. "That's what Youko told me anyway, when I kept insisting on giving it a try, because I thought she deserved that, given how much she loved me...Youko's a saint"

"Yes, she is", Sachiko agreed. "And we're the sinners she tries so hard to save"

"Speaking of sins" Sei planted butterfly kisses all over Sachiko's face and then moved on to her neck. Sachiko breathed in, taking every sensation along with her. "Sei-san...", Sachiko mumbled and sighed, as Sei's hands found itself untying her robe.

Sei withdrew and grinned at a frustrated Sachiko. "I don't want our neighbors to have a free live show", she said, pulling Sachiko inside her apartment. "My eyes should be the only ones that can ogle at this wonderful lithe body of yours"

"You really are a dirty old man", Sachiko chuckled.

---

"Sei-chan"

Sei groaned at hearing her mother's voice, first thing in the morning. _7 a.m. Great. _"Yes, mom?"

"There's a letter for you that just arrived, the return address is from a convent. Please pick it up within the week, your father and I will be gone after that"

"C-convent?" Sei suddenly felt her whole body jolt up. "Okay, thanks". Her heart started to feel heavy after putting down the phone. _Why do I have a bad feeling about this?_

---

Sei immediately drove to her parents' home, and left her usual note to Sachiko not to worry. She arrived just in the nick of time as her parents were on the way to work on their usual errands before leaving the country again. "Thanks, mom,dad. I'll see you before you leave". That was all Sei could tell her parents and immediately headed back home, picking up breakfast along the way. She refused to open the envelope, and instead pocketed it in her jacket. The weather was dark, and it matched her mood. She eventually decided to park at the curbside and tear open the envelope. She had a hunch, and it was correct. It was a letter from Shiori, asking to meet up with her at a particular time and place this coming spring. The reason was left unsaid, and it made Sei all the more uncomfortable and confused whether to tell Sachiko about this or not. Surely she had no feelings left for Shiori, hasn't she? Sachiko is the one whom she is in love with now. There should be nothing wrong with meeting up with an old friend. Sei practiced her breathing exercise and drove back to Sachiko.

Her hands trembled while trying to open her own door. _Relax, Sei. Sachiko will not cut your head off for this. _She was welcomed by a kiss and an "I love you"by a very cheerful Ogasawara Sachiko. Her smile radiated and brightened up the whole room, and the last thing Sei wanted was to wipe that smile off her face. "So what's for breakfast?"

"Bagels and cream cheese, coffee, and me", Sei said, attempting to match Sachiko's enthusiasm.

"Hmm...best breakfast I'll ever have then"

"You seem to have a good morning"

Sachiko showered Sei with kisses as her first response. "Why not? I have every reason to be happy"

"Is that so?" Sei pulled her closer and raised her eyebrows.

"Yes...we're alright now, aren't we?"

Sei grinned and nodded. "Yeah...definitely okay"

"Then that's my every reason"

She cast aside all self-doubt and followed Sachiko's movements across the kitchen preparing the food and turned around, kissing Sei's forehead and held her hands. "You know I feel the same way?" She stroked Sei's cheeks as the blonde girl looked up and nodded. "You made me realize that I can be physically trapped in a predicament that I can't get out of, but what matters is this...". Sachiko took Sei's hand and placed it on her chest. "...can choose where it wants to go...and when we fought...I've never felt so cornered...that's because I denied my heart to go where it wanted to go...to you...you're the one who makes me feel so alive and free"

"Sa-chan..." Sachiko's eyes gleamed with so much optimism that Sei couldn't find it in her heart to even mention Shiori's name. She made a decision to withhold the information after all, whatever it was that Shiori would tell her would never affect how she feels about Sachiko. _That's all in the past, Sei, _she thought to herself. _She's just part of your past. I will just listen to what she has to say and then walk away. There's no need to make a dramatic production out of this Satou Sei. _And with that, Sei brushed off her anxieties, confident that she can handle seeing the one person who almost crushed her faith in love.

---

**A/N: Hmm, the brevity of this chapter was intentional in order for me to make the necessary pivotal moment in this story. I hope no one will be so disappointed :)**

**And to address the comment/review of an anonymous reader, yes it's difficult to imagine the two together, but that's really the point of me writing this. I like challenging myself. I appreciate your, and everyone's comments/reviews :)**


	13. Chapter 13

"You're a liar! I don't ever want to see your face again! I hate you!" Sachiko stormed off the room after slapping Sei and for all intents and purposes ended their relationship. Sei ran after her and tried to explain. "Sa-chan! Please! You have to understand..." Sachiko hurriedly rode of her limousine, ignoring Sei's pleading, who was left standing, helpless as the car became smaller and smaller in her eyes.

---

"Yearrrgh!" Sei jolted up from her horrible dream and buried her face on her hands. Groaning after gathering back her senses, she collapsed face down and covered her head with a pillow, whilst kicking like a petulant child. The nightmares had been coming since she received the letter from Shiori, and it all ended with Sachiko leaving her. She reached for her phone and decided to call Youko, only to put it down after its first ring. "No", she mumbled to herself. "I can't always rely on her...I shouldn't" She glanced at her alarm clock. "Great, 1 a.m" After a few tosses and turns, she decided that she couldn't go back to sleep anymore and forcing it won't help her. She stood up and picked up a few of her lagged assignments from Hideyo and began scribbling some notes.

By 11 a.m, Sei was done with a few weeks worth of tasks and handed them all to Hideyo, who looked utterly shocked. "No cracks about my eyes, Hideyo-sama", Sei muttered, anticipating Hideyo's comments about the dark circles around her eyes that meant no sleep.

"My mind can't even begin to describe how you look, Sei-chan. What happened?"

Sei shrugged and scratched her head. "I was in the zone, I couldn't put them down until I finished all of them"

Hideyo frowned but decided not to push her further. "Well, okay, can you go straight home after class? You need to rest"

"Yeah, okay, I will. Thank you, Hideyo-sama", Sei said before she bowed her head and left the office.

Sei walked towards the School of Business Administration building and found Sachiko sitting down on the corridor, reading, while the rest of her classmates chatted with each other. Sachiko looked up upon realizing that there was a stunned silence that enveloped the air, and then chuckled after seeing that Sei has entered the building. Some girls eventually giggled, while the rest waved shyly at the blonde looker. "Sa-chan, got time for me?" Sei called out with a grin while walking a few meters towards Sachiko, and two cans of iced coffee on hand.

Sachiko grinned back, secretly triumphant that Sei practically ignored everyone else. "Of course, Sei--" Sachiko frowned as Sei got nearer. "Are you aiming to look like a panda or a raccoon? I can't figure out which has darker circles around their eyes"

"Har har. We're jokers now, aren't we?" Sei took Sachiko's wrist and dragged her away from the building. Upon reaching their usual spot, Sei slumped over and opened the two cans of coffee, gulping one after the other. "Nice of you to ask if I wanted one", Sachiko teased. After the whole ordeal and making up, Sachiko seemed to have lightened up and became more and more comfortable and familiar with Sei, sometimes even dropping the honorific when they are conversing in private, or doing more intimate acts. Sei never bothered commenting about it fearing that if she began teasing Sachiko, the girl would revert to being her conscious self. She never liked the honorifics anyway, as far as she was concerned, Sachiko and her should be equal, as in how romantic relationships should be.

Sei took out something from her bag and handed Sachiko a small box and a can of milk tea. "You think I'll forget about you?", she asked with smug smile. Sachiko rolled her eyes and opened the box, immediately blushing at what she saw--three cupcakes with icings that had an "I", a heart, and a "U" written on them respectively. "Love you too", Sachiko mumbled.

"Don't eat that now though, it'll ruin your appetite for lunch", Sei said, when Sachiko picked up one cupcake.

"You can be so motherly, sometimes", Sachiko replied. "So...are you going to tell me why you look like a drugged up rock star right now?"

Sei sighed heavily and took out Shiori's letter. "I have received this two weeks ago, but I decided not to tell you because we just made up and I didn't want anything to ruin your good mood...This is...a letter from...Shiori"

Sachiko cleared her throat and tried not to sound too worried . "What...does it say?"

Sei handed over the letter, surprising Sachiko a bit, but took it anyway and slowly opened the letter, occasionally glancing at Sei. "She wants to see you?"

"Yeah..." Sei responded, trying to gauge Sachiko's reactions.

"Do you want to?"

Sei gazed at Sachiko's eyes before answering. "I don't know" That was in fact her most honest answer. When she received the letter, her conviction to see Shiori was strong, because she had so many questions she thought she needed to ask, and for Shiori to hopefully answer. But as the days progressed, she began doubting herself more and more, and her dreams simply aggravated her feelings, until she reached the point today when she can no longer keep it from Sachiko. She was looking for Sachiko's disapproval, and that would simply make it easier for her to turn down Shiori's request, and it will lift the burden off her. A cowardly act, yes, but in Sei's mind, better be a coward and be on the safe side.

Sachiko however, read it differently and controlled her urge to be selfish. "You should go see her..."

Sei frowned. That wasn't the answer she had hoped for. "Is...that what you want me to do?"

"I think..." Sachiko smiled apprehensively. "It'll be good for you...to put a closure to that...part of your life" Though Sachiko never doubted Sei's love for her, the fear that she has not fully recovered from Shiori remained a nagging worry. A part of her felt like dying after reading the letter, but another part of her wanted to finally put her mind at ease, for Sei to prove that she has in fact moved on.

Sei said nothing in response, still processing her thoughts over Sachiko's reaction.

Sachiko, on the other hand, remained resolute in standing by her girlfriend. "Sei-san...I trust you"

She didn't trust herself, and to be given that much faith from Sachiko made her feel even worse, but she opted not to say anything about it anymore. Sei smiled. "Thank you, Sa-chan...now come, let's have lunch now"

"Just like that?" Sachiko looked bemused.

Sei nodded and grinned. "Yeah, just like that. I'll worry about it again when the date draws nearer. You've put my mind at ease, as far as I'm concerned. Right now, I'm thinking of cutting all my classes after lunch and sleep", After Sachiko tried hard to keep cerebral about it, Sei felt that it was only right to start acting nonchalant about her impending reunion with Shiori. Sei has no idea how she will react to seeing Shiori after 3 years, she needed Sachiko to be there when that happens, and so the last thing she wanted was to make this a cause of friction between the two of them.

The same thing was running through Sachiko's mind. To act immaturely might simply drive a wedge between them, and she would of course rather suffer in silence temporarily than lose Sei permanently. She bit her lip suggestively and asked in a rather hoarse voice, "Want some company while you sleep?"

"I thought you'd never ask", Sei chuckled.

---

Sachiko was never big on giving expensive gifts, lest she is seen as someone who touts her wealth on other people. But these were not ordinary times, and desperate times call for desperate measures. And Sachiko was definitely desperate to mark her territory. Her resolution was too strong, no nun-to-be can simply take Sei away from her that easily. The day after Sei told her Shiori sent her a letter, Sachiko gave Sei an expensive pen with her name engraved on it, much to Sei's protest. Then, she made a deal with Suguru to cover for most of her work so that she can spend as much time with Sei as possible. In exchange, she will join Suguru for a summer out-of-town break, in order for him to spend time with his boyfriend without the watchful eye of their families. She made a mental note to ask Sei to join them, but that would have to come at later time. Right now, she was on her way to Sei's apartment. Carrying the set of spare keys that Sei gave her, she entered with the intent of surprising Sei to a romantic dinner. She began setting it up, with the end goal in mind, and that is, to keep Sei to herself for the whole weekend with no interruptions.

Sei was absolutely stunned upon returning from school. She begrudgingly accepted Sachiko's excuse that she will have to be at her father's company dinner tonight and prepared herself for a lonely friday night again, only to be welcomed by her apartment that suddenly transformed into a love shack, with scented candles scattered all over the living room. Her eyes scanned the area, the lights were dimmed and all the windows and glass sliding door covered with curtains. She finally found Sachiko seated on the floor underneath a blanket spread all over in between her love seat and television. There was food and wine as well, but Sei ignored it and focused on Sachiko. Without saying a word, she walked towards Sachiko, knelt down and kissed her with abandon. "Sa-chan...", she finally mumbled, without breaking her hold on Sachiko's head and waist. Sei, even in the midst of their heated passion, had always been careful with how she treated Sachiko, always fearing that she would be hurt or offended. The kiss that just occurred was however close to primal, and it left Sachiko so flushed and wanting more. "You're amazing", Sei continued. This is exactly what she needed, a confirmation that Sachiko is all she'd ever want now, and no one else.

"I'm sorry that I had to lie", Sachiko said, her face still red all over, with her hand constantly brushing Sei's hair. "I wanted to surprise you"

Sei grinned and nodded. "It's okay...I love this...I love you"

"Do you want to eat dinner now, or would you rather start off already with the dessert?", Sachiko teased upon noticing Sei's hand subtly and slowly removing the buttons on her blouse. "Mmm...tough choice...I am famished...but my hands seem to have a mind of its own. Why don't you decide for me"

"Well, then, I think we should eat first, or else your stamina will be terribly low" Sachiko quipped with her eyebrows raised smugly.

After dinner, Sachiko began massaging Sei's back that felt so stiff from so much tension and anxiety. "Why don't you remove your shirt so I can massage it properly?" Sachiko stood up to get oil inside Sei's bathroom, while Sei began unbuttoning her shirt, wondering what in the world possessed Sachiko to think of all of these, though she was far from complaining. Sachiko returned and began applying oil on Sei's back. Sei failed to realize she already had her eyes closed, genuinely being relaxed by Sachiko's warm hands, until she felt a cold metal on her chest. She looked down and found a necklace with a ring as pendant. She gulped, then held the ring up. Upon closer examination, Sei realized how expensive the ring was, it being a gold band with diamonds encrusted on it. "Sa-chan...this is..."

Sachiko embraced Sei tightly from the back. "If I could only ask you to marry me, I would...As it is...I can only ask you...will you promise that you'd always be mine, Sei?"

"Yes" Sei replied, then she turned around and kissed Sachiko. "I'm not too happy about the price tag of this ring though. And the engraved fountain pen, and--"

"And, and, and, don't be a mood killer", Sachiko interjected, before kissing Sei once more. "I've earned that money from being my father's slave in the company. I have the right to spend it in whatever way I want to...so can you stop fretting about it and just thank me?", Sachiko teasingly said.

Sei scratched her head and grinned sheepishly "Thank you, Sa-chan", she mumbled. "I'll never take this off", she swore.

---

Sei received a phone call a week after, and her knees began to falter at hearing the voice on the other line. "Good morning, is this the residence of Satou Sei?"

"Shiori..." Sei gripped her other hand to regain some sense of control.

"Sei? You left your number when you called to confirm. I'm sorry I was not available that time, and it's only now that I had the opportunity to call back", Shiori said. "I called to inform you that I might get there earlier than scheduled...would you be available this Friday?"

"_This_ Friday?!" Sei exclaimed, then calmed herself down immediately. "I'm sorry...yes...I'll see you...uhm, same place as you indicated in the letter?"

"No, I realized you might now be too familiar with the area. How about Lillian?"

Sei suppressed a gasp. "Okay...Lillian's fine"

"Thank you, Sei. Thank you for agreeing to see me"

"It's no problem", Sei responded attempting to sound distant. "See you, then"

Sei put down the phone and felt dazed. Shiori's voice sounded the same as before, calm and soothing. She instinctively held on to Sachiko's ring and thumbed it. _This Friday...at Lillian...Shiori... _

_---_

"Sei-san...it'll be okay" Sachiko walked side by side with Sei along the path that connects Lillian University with its high school counterpart. Sei grinned and nodded, "I know" They continued to walk without speaking to one another, the anxiety of this meeting was obviously tearing them apart.

Sei slowly opened the door of the Yamayurikai office and found the scene quite overwhelming. Shimako was sitting opposite Shiori who had her back facing the door. On the opposite ends were Yumi, who looked stunned at Shiori's presence, and Yoshino looking devilishly curious as ever. "Onee-sama...Sachiko-sama", Shimako stood up and welcomed the two former roses. Sei forced a grin and flashed her trademark peace sign to Shimako. Yumi stood up and Yoshino stood up as well, with the former hugging Sachiko, and whispered with a worrisome tone, "Onee-sama..." Sachiko stroked Yumi's hair and smiled, hoping that it would calm down Yumi's anxiety.

Shiori slowly stood up and faced Sei. She smiled and bowed her head to both Sei and Sachiko. "Sei...Sachiko-san...good afternoon"

"Good afternoon" replied Sachiko. Sei however did not respond immediately.

"I hope we didn't make you wait for too long...Shiori". There was a harshness in Sei's voice that even Sachiko barely recognized.

If Shiori understood the underlying context behind Sei's words, she did not show it,, and instead shook her head and apologized. "No...I understand that you have classes and activities in school...I'm sorry that you have to rearrange your schedule for this...Shimako-san had been with me since I arrived, your petite seour is a good company. I understand she also aims to be a nun"

Sei glanced at Shimako, who for the first time, fully understood why Sei was drawn to her but hesitated to take her in as a petite seour. Her face to face encounter with Shiori felt like looking at a mirror. Sei immediately felt a pang of guilt, knowing what Shimako was thinking, and she could only hope that her petite seour had also understood that she loves her for who she is, and not for her resemblance with Shiori.

Shiori ignored the awkward silence and greeted her former classmate. "How have you been, Sachiko-san?"

Sachiko smiled warmly at Shiori, braving the turmoil inside her. "Well...and you?"

"Also well, thank you...I am getting nearer to receiving my vows...which is why I have been asked to leave the convent"

"What?! That doesn't make sense" Yumi interjected, and then gasped at her own uncouth behavior.

Shiori chuckled. "It's the system, Yumi-san. We are asked to leave and be part of the outside world once more...and hopefully come back, truly wanting to keep our vows...we don't want halfhearted nuns now, do we?"

"No...we don't", Yumi said, after contemplating on Shiori's explanation.

"So...what does it have to do with me?", Sei asked.

Shiori smiled at Sei, which only made the blonde girl's knees weak and heart pounding like a jackhammer. "I was hoping we could speak in private?"

Sei glanced at Sachiko, who nodded for encouragement. "Yeah, sure, let's step outside"

Sei and Shiori left the Yamayurikai building silently, while the rest ran towards the window and observe the two, except for Sachiko, who sat down. Yumi gazed at her onee-sama, who seem to have reacquired that pensive look she sported for the longest time before Sei came into her life. "Onee-sama...will everything be alright?'

"I hope so Yumi..."

"Why are you allowing her to do this?" Yoshino asked, seething at what could happen.

Shimako placed her hand on Yoshino's shoulder. "Please trust my Onee-sama"

"It's not her that I don't trust, Shimako-chan", Yoshino quipped, as she continued to observe Sei and Shiori speaking to one another under the sakura trees. "After all, she's not _yet_ a nun"


	14. Chapter 14

Sei and Shiori stood face to face, with a good distance in between them. Sei was obviously tensed and perhaps even miffed at Shiori's presence, though understandably so, at least from Shiori's point of view. "What do you want, Shiori?" Sei was acting tough and cold, the reality however, was her whole body was trembling at the slightest gaze coming from Shiori.

Shiori's smile finally gave way to a more concerned look. "I need closure...I know this is selfish on my part but--"

"Damn right you are, Shiori. You left me alone without saying a word, and now you come back telling me _you_ need closure?'

"Sei, you do understand why I had to do it, don't you?"

"No, actually, I don't"

"We were very young, Sei. We still are...but back then, what could've happened to us? Two teenagers, barely out of childhood, running away from whom we don't know, and to God knows where"

"..."

"Sei, what was it in me that attracted you the most?"

"...you were...mature...unlike most people around here"

"If I had run away with you...that one attribute that drew you close to me...would've been lost...I did exactly what made you come near me...it's that maturity you saw and expected in me"

"You...you could've given me...a good bye...I...I deserved that..."

"I wanted to...but I didn't have the strength to be near you and let go of you...Sei...you have no idea how much I wanted to hold you close for all my life...I couldn't...I couldn't tell you in person...or else I wouldn't have been able to at all...we would have ended up running away, because I would have just simply let you take me wherever you wanted to"

"...so why are you here?"

"I don't want to fulfill my vows with a heavy burden in my heart, knowing how much this has hurt you"

"..."

"Please come with me to the greenhouse" Shiori said, after noticing a few students walking and staring at them curiously, which made Sei terribly conscious.

"...okay"

---

Yoshino craned her neck from the window and exclaimed. "Hey! They're off to somewhere else! Let's go follow them!"

Shimako sighed as she looked outside. "I don't think that's the right thing to do"

"Yumi-chan?" Yoshino asked.

"Err...maybe...we should..." She looked at Sachiko whose eyes burned in pain. "Just to see if Sei-sama is alright"

Yumi took Sachiko's hand and walked away from the office, together with Yoshino. Shimako closed her eyes and decided afterward to follow the three.

"I think they're heading to the greenhouse" Yoshino declared. "Let's go"

---

Shiori and Sei entered the greenhouse and sat next to each other. She took out something from her jacket and placed it on Sei's palm. "I made that for you...you can choose not to wear it...but I will have to ask you...if you can keep it?"

"I will..." Sei said, placing the red rosary bracelet on her left wrist. "Thank you"

"Sei...I came here to say good bye..."

"After three years, huh?" Sei mumbled, finally smiling for the first time that day.

"Yes...after three years", Shiori said with a soft laugh. "I know you deserved that...I'm just sorry it took a while"

"Shiori...thank you..." Sei said, as tears began to fall from her eyes. "I'm sorry too...that I have been so self-absorbed...for being too blinded by what I felt for you...I've hurt you..."

Shiori held Sei close and pressed her forehead on the blonde girl's. "That's not true...you're not self-absorbed...you care for people too much, actually" She stroked her hair and said, "I'll think of you, when I take my vows...you're the one person who had truly made me understand what love and friendship meant"

Sei smiled despite herself, both from the irony and sincerity of Shiori's promise. Oddly, the physical closeness she was having with Shiori did not have the same effect years ago, nor with how she felt when Sachiko was near. She looked up and felt an epiphany overcome her. She had just let go of Shiori and her painful past. "The rain has finally let up", Sei mumbled.

Shiori turned to look at the sky and saw no hint of darkness nor mist. She saw Sei's eyes and realized what she meant by her words and nodded. "Yes...it's about time we step out of here"

"I love you Sei...I always will" Sei stopped short of opening the door and smiled at Shiori, both knowing what that love meant now. "Same here"

Upon opening it, Sei saw Shimako, looking disappointed. "Onee-sama..."

Sei frowned and saw Sachiko's silhouette running away from the greenhouse, with Yumi following close behind. "Shimako, what are you doing here?"

"Why did you kiss her?" Yoshino asked.

"What?!" Sei exclaimed, flabbergasted at the question. "I didn't kiss Shiori! Nor did she kiss me!"

"Sei", Shiori uttered, attempting to calm her who looked like she was about to slap Yoshino's face. Sei ran and tried to follow Sachiko, leaving Yoshino, Shiori, and Shimako in the greenhouse area.

---

Nobody spoke for some good minutes, until Shiori could not take Yoshino''s death glares any longer. "Yoshino-san, I don't know exactly what you saw from where you were standing, but Sei and I did _not_ kiss, nor did any of us intended to in the first place"

"You said you love each other"

"Yes, but that's not--"

"Don't bother explaining to them, Shiori", Sei interjected while she glared at Shimako. Returning from trying to catch Sachiko, Sei looked defeated and exhausted. "It's getting late. I'll drive you back to the convent"

Shimako gasped. Shiori was going back to the convent to finally take her vows. There was no intention on her part to get back with her Onee-sama. So what they have seen was not..."Onee-sama!" Shimako shouted and ran towards her. Sei turned around and stared at Shimako blankly, causing the younger girl to back off, allowing Sei to leave the grounds with Shiori.

---

Sachiko could still hear Sei's voice in her head, pleading for her to stop running and let her explain. But she had none of it. Because what was more dominant in her mind is Sei telling Shiori that she loves her too. _And God, that kiss. They kissed. _She immediately rode in her car and demanded her driver to speed off. From the rear view mirror that Sei eventually stopped running and turned around. Did she look scared? No, Sachiko thought. Sei looked furious. What right did she have to be mad at Sachiko? It should be the other way around, and the reality was, Sachiko was fuming mad as well. She had been understanding, patient, and loving. She thought that was enough to keep Sei from running back to Shiori. But apparently, she will never be good enough for Sei. Today was just a confirmation to all her fears.

---

Sei drove Shiori to the convent silently. There were no words left to say. Any attempt on conversation meant another opening to know about each other's lives. There was simply no time for that anymore. Before Shiori stepped out, she took one last look at Sei and said, "You'll always be in my prayers"

Sei smiled and watched Shiori enter the convent gates. She is to take her vows as a contemplative monastic nun, where they would be closed from the outside world until their death. "Good bye...Shiori", Sei mumbled to herself with her eyes closed. Upon opening them, she was left with nothing but a wide open dark road ahead of her.

---

The butler informed Sachiko of Sei's presence in their mansion, and asked him to bring her inside her room. Sei walked silently and closed the door behind her. Sachiko spared no time in telling how she felt. "How could you?"

Sei still had a blank expression on her face. "You never let me explain anything, Sa-chan"

"There's nothing to explain"

"Please stop doubting me. You are mistaken, Sa-chan. Why can't you trust me?"

"Because I can't and I don't want to!" Sachiko stopped herself from talking further. She seemed shocked at her own words, but nonetheless refrained from taking them back. " I know I can never give you my whole life. But what I could, I did. But that was not enough for you. I thought I could be the one you'd love"

"And you are!!!" Sei could no longer hide her anger and frustration.

"Don't yell at me!" Sachiko exclaimed.

"You won't listen to me!"

"Because I don't want to listen to your lies anymore!"

Sei backed down and began pulling her hair. "I..." She breathed deeply and exhaled. "So it has come down to that? You think I've done nothing but lie to you?"

Sachiko held her tongue but anger got the better of her and blurted out, "Yes"

Stunned, Sei could not think of anything else to say. She began to feel lightheaded, and her chest heavy. She closed her eyes, removed her necklace, and walked towards Sachiko. She handed over the necklace and pendant. "Good riddance" She said between gritted teeth and glared at Sachiko.

Sachiko gasped. The realization came a bit too soon, but she stood frozen, unable to stop Sei from leaving.

Sei stormed out of the mansion, and literally bumped into Suguru. He had a sullen expression, as if, he already had a feeling of what had happened. "Take care of her, Suguru", Sei mumbled.

"Uh, Sei-san!" Suguru exclaimed, but Sei was already a few meters away, running as fast as she could.

---

Sei arrived in her apartment and locked the doors. Never bothering to turn on the lights, she began pacing inside the living room. Her breathing was erratic, and her body felt numb. She finally curled up on the sofa, broke down and screamed.

Sachiko on the other hand wept silently until a phone call disrupted her. "Onee-sama....?"

"Y-yumi..."

"Onee-sama...am I too late to tell you we were mistaken with what we thought we witnessed and heard?"

Sachiko stopped herself from crying. "I don't want to hear anything about that anymore, Yumi"

"But Onee-sama..."

"Do I have to repeat myself, Yumi?"

"N-no...I'm sorry, Onee-sama..."

Sachiko put down the phone and grimaced at her own rudeness to Yumi. She began weeping again and held on to the necklace she gave Sei.

---

Sei woke up the next morning, with her clothes from the night before still on her. She could barely open her eyes from all the crying. Her stomach complained from hunger but the rest of her body seemed to have shut down. She curled herself up once more, closed her eyes and fell asleep once again. A few hours later, and the same thing happened. The hours became days, with Sei occasionally standing up to take some water or milk, shower, and then curl up again, until Hideyo came knocking on her door. "Sei-chan! I know you're in there! What in the world has happened to you?" She frowned and knocked again after there was no answer. "Satou Sei! Damn it! Open this door!" Another minute of no response, and Hideyo knocked again with more force and several kicks on the door. "Shit! Don't you think I won't come back here!", Hideyo said before leaving. _There has to be a way to..._She stopped walking and raised her eyebrows, with a smirk plastered on her face.

---

Youko groaned and covered her face with a pillow, after being woken up by a persistent caller on her cellphone. After about 25 rings or more, she finally decided to pick it up and curse whoever was calling. She fumed further after seeing that she did not recognize the number. _This better be important. _"Hello?"

"Had enough of soul searching?'

"Who the heck is this?"

Youko heard a familiar voice chuckling in response. "H-hideyo? How did you--"

"Like I don't have networks from other universities? I think you underestimate me, Youko"

Despite her initial annoyance, she found herself smiling. "So what made you call?"

Hideyo's voice suddenly turned serious. "There's only one reason why I would make an effort to find your number and call you at an ungodly hour"

Youko lost the smile on her face and began worrying. "Sei..."

"You better do something, or she'll end up being a hikikomori"

Youko, without knowing the details, already was one hundred percent sure what would move Sei to this behavior. "I'm booking a flight first thing in the morning"

---


	15. Chapter 15

Hideyo slightly grimaced at a flock of girls walking across the garden where a statue of the Virgin Mary stood. She had imagined her own experience on an all-girls high school and hated every minute of it. If there is one thing she had in common with her now incommunicado mentee is that they never felt they belonged in a school such as this. The university is a different setting, despite it still being gender specific. There was more freedom and less expectations of how girls should behave. In high school, God forbid one crosses that line created by an illogical code of conduct, you'd be scarred for life by the herd mentality dominant among teenage girls. She frowned even more at the sight of the Rose Mansion. _What in the devil's name is this system really for? _Casting aside her own curiosity, she walked inside to reach her goal as quickly as possible.

Barging in, Hideyo wasted no time scaring the wits out of the current Roses. "Alright, I want to know exactly what went on here". Hideyo still had no idea what occurred a week ago. All she knew is that Sei asked permission to leave early because she and Sachiko needed to see someone in this place, and after that, things went downhill. "You young ladies better tell me everything you know before Youko hangs you all by your thumbs. And in case she doesn't, bear in mind I'm just a few yards away"

Yumi whimpered, while Yoshino audibly gulped. Shimako stood up and faced her bravely, despite her own guilt that had been eating her up. She respectfully asked Hideyo to sit down first and have tea, but the older girl however refused. "No time for afternoon pleasantries. I _need_ to know what happened". Shimako nodded, and the three roses began explaining. "Hmm, interesting", Hideyo muttered while processing the information given to her.

Before she could say anything, the door opened and Sachiko entered. "Yumi, I came by to ask if you would want to--". Sachiko almost gasped in surprise seeing Hideyo at the Rose Mansion. The mentor smiled, "I'm glad you're here, I need to--"

"If it's about Sei, Hideyo-sama...you'd be wasting your time...", Sachiko interrupted.

If there was any anger or annoyance on Hideyo's part, she had kept it well-hidden and maintained a diplomatic stance. "It's not my business to meddle in your affairs, Sachiko-san, only Sei's. I'm here to simply retrieve her spare keys in her apartment from you. You have smuggled us before for her birthday, so I am hoping you still have them"

Sachiko frowned in confusion, but handed back the keys without protest. She could not however stop herself from asking, "Did she ask you...to get it from me?"

Hideyo took the keys and ignored Sachiko's question. She thanked Sachiko, hurriedly left the school and drove for the airport.

Youko could already see Hideyo despite the heavy human traffic at the airport's waiting area. For a brief period, she had forgotten why she had returned and actually felt warm just to even imagine that by the time she finished her one year program, Hideyo might actually be the person who will pick her up again under happier circumstances. She stood out, not just because of her striking beauty, but because her gaze passed through every person that blocked Youko's path and aimed unwaveringly at her alone, as if she is the only person in that area. "Hideyo", Youko said, smiling back at the older girl. "I hope I didn't make you wait too long"

"I was expecting a year, remember? What's an hour?", Hideyo teased.

Youko found herself blushing again, and for the first time, she let all her sense of self-control and inhibitions go, hugged Hideyo and briefly planted a kiss on the lips. She was at that point of no return, displaying affection, not to mention giving her first kiss, to someone whom she barely knew but made her feel like the world revolved around her. She had never longed for such attention, but it felt surprisingly good, until an image of a devastated Sei rained on her parade. She let go of Hideyo slowly and asked, "Uhm, so, has she..."

Hideyo shook her head and sighed. "I had to scare three little chickens in your old high school to know what happened". She took some of Youko's bags and guided her away from the hordes of human beings eager to go home as well, as if the kiss didn't even happen. Youko felt guilty, she kissed Hideyo and the first thing she asked afterward was Sei, and yet, the woman showed no offense from her behavior, as if it was only right of her to ask. She felt even more guilty when Hideyo suggested to first drop her off in Sei's apartment, and then drop off her things in her home. Either Hideyo is really that secure, or she's merely playing with her, Youko thought to herself. As if on cue, Hideyo took her hand and told her, "That kiss was really nice...thank you. I'd love to have returned it, but if I did, I might not be able to take you where I'm suppose to, and that will defeat the purpose of asking you to be here in the first place".

Youko smiled sheepishly, "She still has a hold on me apparently...I've not done enough soul searching"

"If you have forgotten the person you love the most that easily, I'd be very disappointed and rethink why I'm attracted to you in the first place", Hideyo replied with such easiness. _How is it that they can be this frank and earnest to each other?_ Youko asked to herself.

"I'm not...offending you?"

"You didn't kiss me to spite Sei, did you? Because if you did, that's a very futile strategy on your part since she's not even here"

Youko chuckled then thought about it. "No, no I didn't do that for anyone else", she said with so much conviction and sincerity.

"Well, then, we don't have a problem here" Hideyo grinned then paused for a bit and faced Youko. "If we wanted to use each other, we could've done that long before you left. Being open to life, and the possibility of love, doesn't make you a horrible person, Youko. What would be offensive if there was no transparency between us, that I didn't know of your situation. That will make me look like a fool. But tell me that isn't the case, or else you'll have to take a cab on the way home"

Youko broke into a smile and hugged Hideyo again. "I think I'd be sitting comfortably in your car, thank you very much". She hugged Hideyo tighter, until the latter spoke.

"We've got plenty of time for this, later on. I've got to bring you to Sei as soon as possible" Hideyo said, as she broke off Youko's hug and moved forward. She snickered and asked, "You're not offended that I thought of Sei, are you?"

Youko rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're making fun of me"

"Yes I am", Hideyo confessed which made Youko even laugh harder.

Hideyo echoed everything the girls said inside the Rose Mansion while she drove back to the city with Youko. "I asked you to come home, because I thought you can use your meddling skills but...after finding out what really happened...that might not be the best thing to do"

"You're right...given that...I don't think I will even dare try to patch things up between the two of them...it's just too...raw as of the moment...but what should I do?"

"I think...the right thing...is to just let Sei know that there's someone in her life, who instead of leaving, had actually come back to her"

"How do you know that Sei...I mean...that she hasn't done anything to...hurt herself...I mean...you've been quite calm about this...I'd probably would have asked the police to barge in already"

"That girl...she keeps emailing me the work I've asked her to do...during odd hours, can you believe that?"

Youko could not help but laugh bitterly. Sei may be on the road to self destruction, but she probably could not stand knowing Hideyo's research might be delayed because of her.

---

Hideyo left Youko in Sei's apartment building, hoping she could do a little bit of magic. Youko was less optimistic. Sei rejected all her efforts before regarding Shiori, what would make her do things differently now? Using the set of keys Hideyo retrieved from Sachiko, Youko slowly opened the door, anxious of what she'll see. The first things that greeted her were empty bottles of wine on the floor and stocks of books scattered all over. Sei was curled up in the sofa, with her eyes puffy and dark. "Sei", Youko whispered, "wake up".

Sei stirred and half opened her eyes. She did not say anything but grunted to acknowledge Youko. She, however, afterward turned away from Youko and covered her face with a blanket. Youko stood up and scanned the room once again, and began picking up the bottles. _No food_, she thought. Reaching for the pantry, Youko found some instant noodles in a cup and chose one. She began heating up some water and prepared the noodles and some tea. "Sei...please get up and eat something"

Either really sleeping or pretending to be, Youko did not press the matter further. "Sei", she whispered again. "I'll go home first and freshen up...I'll come back later...I'll leave your food here, okay?"

After a few hours, Youko decided she had given Sei enough space and returned, only to find one more bottle of wine open, while the food she prepared was left untouched. She controlled herself from showing any sign of frustration, that would only aggravate matters if she failed to. There was still no reaction from Sei, and no intention of giving one. Youko began picking up all the books and attempted to make Sei's apartment look less like a pigsty. _There has to be a way for her to..._Youko jerked up and smirked. "I'll be right back, Sei"

Upon returning, Youko felt more confident. She had thought of a sure way to get her emotionally-driven friend to at least get out of her vegetative state. _Has she ever given you her darth vader look? _She remembered Hideyo's question. Youko slid the glass door open and stepped out of the balcony. She was still smirking to herself as she brought out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. She stopped herself from choking from the smoke and bravely took it all in. _In five...four...three...two..._

"What the heck are you doing?!" Sei shouted. Youko heard Sei's footsteps hurried up towards her. "Since when did you learn to smoke?! Give me that!" Sei violently grabbed the pack and lighter away from Youko and threw it in her trash can. "Put that off! That's not good for you!", she roared. Youko sniggered and gave in to Sei's orders right away. "Well, now that you have resurrected, Satou Sei, why don't we have lunch?"

Realizing that she had been tricked, Sei glared at her and growled. She began walking back to the sofa but Youko grabbed on to her waist and said, "Oh no, you won't". Sei made an annoyed sound, but that did not deter Youko. She doesn't have a lot of time in her hands. She walked around Sei and stood face to face. "Look at you", she said, brushing Sei's hair like a how a mother would do to a child after playtime and she's all dirtied up. "I would bet everything I own that you have not eaten for days"

"A week actually", Sei said. "Pay up"

Youko chuckled in response.

"Why are you here? Did _she_ call you up and cried you a river? Alright, I admit, it's my fault. _I _kissed Shiori. _I _declared my undying love for Shiori. _I _used _her_--"

"Hideyo called me up", Youko said.

"Hideyo-sama?" Sei mumbled. "How did she know how to contact you?"

Youko shrugged. "I asked the same thing and she just gave a very cryptic answer. Is she really like that?"

"Yeah..." Sei said thoughtfully. It never occurred to her that Hideyo would go through lengths just to make sure she's okay.

"I see", Youko said with a giggle.

"What? What's that giggle for?"

"Nothing", Youko answered. "Come on, I'll make us some lunch. What else do you have here that's not carcinogenic?"

"None. All I have is instant noodles"

Youko sighed. "Let's call in for delivery, okay? Scrub yourself clean while I try to do the same with your apartment"

Sei nodded, but before she reached her room, she glanced at Youko several times until the latter took notice of it. "Yes?"

"You seem...different. Britain's got a good effect on you"

Youko smiled. "What's different?"

Sei shrugged and scratched her head. "Dunno...it's like...you've lightened up...that's good", Sei added, with a genuine grin. At least one of them looks generally happen, Sei said to herself, and between the two of them, Sei felt Youko deserved it more.

---

"...And I tried to put up with all her issues and temper tantrums. And then _this_ is what I get?!" Sei began ranting while they ate. She put her hand up, crumpled an imaginary Sachiko and let out frustrated grunt. She huffed then scratched her head exaggeratedly. "So anyway, I'm not planning to become a hikikomori. I just wanted to let my anger subside. Heartbreaks, I can face the world with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. But I don't want to vent my anger out on other people", Sei explained, while Youko quietly listened.

"This is all your fault, Youko" Sei added as she lazily munched on the small piece of food she took.

"My fault?!", Youko defensively asked.

"Yeah, you should've just seduced me, then I wouldn't have seen _her_ that way"

"Hmm...but who would be beside you when we two have our own fights?"

Sei thought about it for a moment and frowned. "Yeah...I guess you're right"

"I think...where we are in each other's lives right now, is exactly where we should be"

Sei gazed at Youko and moved her head closer. Youko on the other hand, sat still, her face without reacting, and simply waited for what Sei had in mind to do. Sei kissed Youko for a brief period until she withdrew herself.

Youko smiled and asked, "Feel better? Or did that just make you miss her even more?"

Sei's expression was a mixture of guilt, annoyance, and defeat. She did not answer Youko's question directly, but explained. "If she's going to accuse me...might as well justify it"

"That's just really pathetic, Satou Sei"

"Yeah...", Sei mumbled and shook her head. "Sorry...I hope that wasn't your first"

"No, I had mine several hours ago", Youko said, after finally having the opportunity to open up. It was only then that Sei understood it. She looked bemused, and stunned. "You have got to be kidding me? You? And...and...holy shit"

Youko chuckled and shook her head. "Yeah"

"I can't bel--no, wait, I _can _believe this. Damn it, why didn't I see this coming?". Sei burst into a laugh. "But since when? I mean, you've been awa--my birthday, hah! So that's why you two were holed up on my balcony!" It was a Eureka moment for Sei, and for a short moment, she had forgotten her own problems and felt genuinely happy for Youko.

"Hold your horses, Sei. It's not like we've really defined anything...I'll be going away within the next few days...so..."

"Define, schmine", Sei scoffed. ""Where else will it lead to? Besides, you'll be back in no time. You can't really stay anywhere else, Youko You know that"

"Yeah, you're right. I hope she really does have that much patience to wait"

"She took me in as a her mentee, and she has yet to strangle me to death. You think she doesn't have that much patience?"

Youko smiled and leaned her head on Sei's shoulder. "I'm worried Sei...when I leave again..."

Sei sighed and rested her head on Youko's. "I'll be fine...if not for myself...for you and Hideyo-sama"

"You...don't see any reconciliation?"

"I already broke my promise, Youko. I left her"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you won't be steadfastly waiting for that moment when you can return"

---


	16. Chapter 16

"Sa-chan? Why are you still here? It's late. Don't you have classes tomorrow?". Suguru was about to step out of work but noticed the light on Sachiko's office was still on.

Sachiko looked up and away from the pile of annual reports she had been studying. "No, I don't. Tomorrow's wednesday, it's..." Sachiko's mind lingered for a bit to a place she didn't want to go. "University break", a day she spent much of her time with Sei, a day she didn't really want to remember.

"I see", Suguru responded. "It's not going to go away that easily, Sa-chan"

Sachiko frowned and looked away. "I didn't imagine it to be this painful...I thought it would be just like with you"

Suguru sat down on the chair in front of Sachiko's table and sighed heavily. "You feel numb all over, don't you?"

"...Yes...my brain can't even begin to process what happened"

"Like it has been bogged down, right?"

Sachiko nodded and leaned on the table. "Tell me I can get over it"

"I can't...not yet anyway...Sa-chan, let me tell you this. Our minds...are functioned to remember things even when we don't want to. There will always be something, whether it be a place, or fragrance, or even other people we know and meet. There will always be something that will trigger our brains to remember that one person you hold dearest. And then our heart starts beating mad. It's painful and it weakens your resolve. It'll take a while...and you will eventually get over her...but only if you really want to"

Sachiko averted Suguru's eyes and said nothing.

"Do you want to?" Suguru asked.

"She's...she's the one who said goodbye, Suguru...I mean...I've said some very horrible things...but I didn't think she would..."

"What made you think that way?"

Sachiko sighed heavily. Her insecurities had always gotten the better of her. She remembered how, her own insecurities with Yumi led to her misinterpreting Yumi's actions during Valentine's season. How she had treated Sei throughout their relationship was hauntingly similar. It's not her temper that's the real problem here, it's her insecurities, combined with her inability to be candid about that weakness of her, that had led to so many misunderstandings with Sei. So many things, yet Yumi had forgiven her, but Sei, Sei left her.

"I thought she loved me", Sachiko said with bitterness.

Suguru shook his head. "I think...you might have pushed Sei-san to her limits...you've been together for a short amount of time, Sa-chan...she can only take so much...love is...less romantic than what we have been made to believe"

Suguru had been on Sachiko's side since she and Sei had broken up, primarily because he perhaps is the only one who had experienced the same level of heartbreak she has been dealing with lately. "There's so much pressure in the type of relationship we're in, Sa-chan...just the fact that we have to hide it...and we can't be with the people we love all the time, especially at times when we want to...it's something that some if not most, people who are in a so-called normal relationship take for granted. That alone, can and had torn couples apart...and well...lack of communication...lack of trust...it's a fatal combination"

"You're basically pinning this on me"

"Well, to be very honest? Yes. I'm pretty sure Sei has her own faults, but nonetheless, you're the one who jumped into conclusions, not her"

Sachiko remained silent. Suguru spoke again. "You haven't answered my question, Sa-chan"

"...Which?"

"Do you really want to get over her?"

"I...I don't know..."

Suguru raised his eyebrows and waited for Sachiko's honest answer.

"No...I don't...I love her, Suguru-san...I miss her...God, I miss her so much". Sachiko buried her face on her hands and softly sobbed.

"It's not yet too late, Sa-chan"

Sachiko shook her head. "No...you didn't see her when...you didn't see how she looked at me...She had hatred and disgust written all over her face...tell me how that can't be too late?"

Suguru said nothing and simply reached out for Sachiko's arm. "You're tired...I'll bring you home" Sachiko needs to learn to trust Sei without anyone convincing her to. In other words, Sachiko has to figure things out on her own, and not be dependent on other people's idea of who Sei is and how much she is loved by that girl. It is only then that all this doubting and insecurities will cease to exist. He felt pity for Sachiko, it is not her fault she looks at people this way, and he himself is part of that problem.

---

Sachiko could not sleep. She had been lacking sleep for sometime now, and the very little hours her body allows her to rest, it's been marred by dreams revolving around Sei. She hugged her pillow but immediately let go of it, as her body only made her remember how good it felt to hug Sei at night. Sachiko wanted to cry, but it seemed like all her tears have dried out. Suguru was right, everywhere she went, something reminded her of Sei, and it felt horrible. School was worse. She had both been scared and looking forward to spotting Sei somewhere in the school grounds, but for some unknown reason, the blonde girl seemed to have disappeared. Her after school classes had been suspended, and Hideyo took over eventually, and surprisingly, her class was equally popular. Everyday, Sachiko subtly passed by the classroom, especially, during dismissal, but there was still no sign of Sei. She began worrying, remembering that Hideyo asked for Sei's apartment keys. _What happened to her? Is she sick? Did...she hurt herself? No, not that. _That last thought horrified Sachiko, though she attempted to convince herself that Sei was above doing something like that. Nevertheless, she could not shake off that worried feeling as she passed by again the classroom while students noisily stepped out.

"Sachiko-san?"

Sachiko froze, she recognized the voice to be Hideyo's. "Sachiko-san, I haven't seen you in a while". Sachiko turned around and saw Hideyo smiling and walking towards her. "How are you?"

Sachiko forced a smile and spoke. "I'm alright, Hideyo-sama"

"Good...that's good..." Hideyo responded. She was interrupted by a student who submitted a paper, and Sachiko turned pale. From a certain angle, that student looked eerily like Sei, though under closer inspection, was taller, fairer, and thinner than her. "Thank you, Kimberley", Hideyo said.

Hideyo smiled at Sachiko. "She's British, though she had always been fascinated by our culture, that's why she's here. Looks a lot like Sei, doesn't she? I was petrified the first time she walked in the lit club's office. I thought I was hallucinating, when Sei was right beside me that time..."

Sachiko nodded, "yes...she does look like Sei...uhm...how...how has she been?"

"Hard to say, to be honest...she goes to school, and leaves right away. She spends most of her time away from everyone else"

"I see..."

Hideyo smiled at Sachiko with tenderness in her eyes. "I would have to go now, Sachiko-san...have a good day"

"Yes, have a good day too".

Sachiko left the building and waited for her driver to pick her up. He was unusually late and called through cellphone to inform her that a road accident has caused a traffic jam. A few students stood by near her, also waiting for their ride, and she could not help but listen to their conversation that involved Sei.

"Is it true that Satou Sei dropped her after class lectures on American lit?"

"Yeah. I don't mind though. Her mentor took over, and really, she's equally amazing"

"I'm just wondering why she'd give that up. I mean, I heard the pay's quite good, like, half of what the tenured professors are getting"

"Maybe it wasn't about the money why she took the job in the first place"

"Nah, it's definitely about the money. I heard from Takanashi-sama from the lit club, that Sei took the job because she planned to go to Europe a few years after graduating, so she needed the starter money"

"Ah well, maybe she changed her mind. I really don't know"

"Too bad, she's really cute, you know. I would have taken her class for next year"

"Oh no wonder you know so much about her"

"Hell, I have no qualms in admitting I have a huge crush on her"

The girls laughed and then left after their ride arrived a few seconds later.

_Europe._ That was her dream, not Sei's, but little by little, the latter tried to make it a reality, through something that Sachiko detested before. She never even gave Sei the chance to explain. Sachiko's tears began to fall without her even realizing it. It apparently happens a lot for the past few weeks already, and she didn't mind stopping it now.

Because of the traffic caused by the accident, Sachiko's driver took another route which she dreaded, the one that passes by Sei's apartment.

Sei walked with slumped shoulders slowly. There was no need to rush going home, she hated going home in the first place. Everything in her apartment reminded her of Sachiko. She's angry at Sachiko, but more than that, Sei had been angry at herself. She was so immersed in her own thinking that she didn't notice that a classmate was already calling her name, until she overran Sei near her apartment building.

"Rena-san", Sei said. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you"

"That's alright, I thought I saw you and it was perfect timing. You have my copy of The Bell Jar, don't you? Is it alright if I take it back? I need to reread certain chapters for our report"

"Of course. I'm sorry it took me awhile. Wanna go up for a while? I've got other books you might be interested in reading"

"Sure! Are you done with your report?"

"Nah, not really. I'll probably just wing it. I'm not too happy reading that book"

"Sei-san. It's a documentation of one person's journey to insanity. What did you expect?"

Perfect timing indeed, as Sachiko passed by Sei's apartment building, and saw her with another girl on the way up. From Sachiko's point of view, it looked like Sei was laughing with the other girl.

_She has moved on_. Sachiko thought, as again, tears fell instantly. _I guess I should, too._

---

"Sei-chan...she asked about you", Hideyo said, informing Sei of her encounter with Sachiko. "I think...she's been looking for you" It's been a couple of weeks since Youko went back to Britain,and a month and a half before summer begins, and Sei has yet to open herself up with the slightest possibility of wanting to see Sachiko. And so with this bit of information Hideyo gave, Sei simply remained silent. It seems for Hideyo, that the longer this cold war persists, the further Sei is slipping away.

"Sei-chan...why are you being so stubborn about this?"

"If she wanted to see me, Hideyo-sama, she knows where I live", Sei responded flatly.

"She doesn't know whether you _want_ to see her or not, Sei-chan. You can't possibly expect her to just show up and--"

"That's the risk we all take when we want to achieve something. If she doesn't want to risk it, then I'm not going to be the one to wait and leave the door open until she decides it's okay to do so" Sei stood up and headed toward the door. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Hideyo-sama. But I'm not going to even be remotely apologetic for walking out on her"

"Do you really have that much hatred in Sachiko, that you can speak about her this way? She made a mistake, Sei-chan. We all make mistakes"

"Yes we do! I did! I shouldn't have seen Shiori here! I shouldn't have followed her to the greenhouse!" Sei finally snapped, exactly what Hideyo wanted. Youko told her that she didn't do much progress, that Sei simply gave her a heavily censored version of how she felt about things.

Hideyo sat still, and allowed Sei to finally let go of everything she had been keeping to herself.

"I shouldn't have gone to her place that night! I shouldn't..." Sei began to tremble, her breath almost erratic. "She said...I lied...that I never loved her...she had seen how much Shiori's departure killed a huge part of me...to see her was difficult enough...and to be accused of...of...I gave everything I could to put my heart in someone's hands again...and then...just like that..."

Hideyo stood up and held Sei tightly.

"For that brief moment...I wanted to hurt her so bad...I wanted to slap her...I wanted her to feel how much she had hurt me...but I couldn't...and the only thing I could do was leave"

"And you still want to hurt her, do you? That's why you're doing this" Hideyo said, still holding Sei and rubbing her back attempting to calm Sei down.

Sei nodded slowly, holding Hideyo tightly as well. "I'm pathetic"

"No, no you're not", Hideyo said in an almost scolding manner. "Sei-chan...you're angry...I understand that...I've been there...but I don't want you to go down the road of self-loathing because of your desire right now to make her feel what she made you feel...because I know deep in your heart...you are so in love with her and eventually, your guilt will eat you up...and the last thing I want is for you to realize certain things when it's already too late"

Sei looked up and listened to Hideyo attentively, while sobbing like a baby. "What...do you...want me...to do?", she asked in between sniffs.

---


	17. Chapter 17

"Did I ever tell you how good you make me feel?" Sachko whimpered as a girl kissed her neck.

"No...tell me..." the girl's hands touched Sachiko in all her sensitive areas followed by her lips.

"No one...no one's ever touched me this way"

"Not even Sei?"

Sachiko smirked then pinned the nameless girl on the bed. "She's _nothing_ compared to you"

"No!" Sachiko screamed in her sleep, which eventually woke her up. "Oh god..." She felt her forehead covered in sweat, her heart pounded wildly. _A nightmare...that's all it was..._She covered her face with her hands and shook her head. "No...I don't want to move on...not when I've hurt you so much...I'll make it up to you...", she said talking to the ring she had given Sei.

She stood up and walked towards the balcony for fresh air, only to be welcomed by a full moon. _Tomorrow used to mean another day with you...that moon...Sei...does it still mean something to you? _

The following morning, Sachiko decided it's time to throw out and wave the white flag. It had been almost two grueling months, and all physical manifestations of a bad break up had become already too obvious for. She had been eating less, just enough for her not to fall sick, but the weight loss did not escape everyone around her. This naturally had been a cause of worry for her parents, but Sachiko tried to assure them that she had just been very busy since it's finals season.

It didn't need any convincing though with Yumi. She knew everything, but had been quietly supporting Sachiko, never mentioning Sei and what happened.

Noticeably absent in this equation was Youko. Sachiko did not want her to get involved, and it seemed to her that Youko had taken sides, after Rei slipped in one of their conversations, informing Sachiko that she saw her onee-sama walking to buy some groceries near Sei's apartment. She couldn't take it against Youko though if she had indeed chosen to cease being objective about this. She had finally admitted to herself that this was all her fault.

Sachiko has had enough of lack of sleep, the nightmares, the crying, and the constant longing to be with Sei. Something's got to give, and if Sei asks her to dig a hole from here to China, she would do it, if it meant forgiveness. She gripped a letter she wrote last night, with the intention of making Sei read it. She knew very well that what she wanted to tell Sei might not come out correctly, given her anxiety. She had reached the point where as much as she desires to resume their relationship, what has become the most important thing is for Sei not to be angry at her anymore.

She reached the Literature department and was welcomed by the same group of upperclassmen who used to tease Sei. "Sachiko-san, what brings you here? Please tell me you're shifting to our department"

Sachiko smiled but shook her head. "No, I'm here to see--"

"Sachiko-san, please come in" Hideyo said with a sense of urgency. "I heard them greet you, I don't want any reaction from you to give you and Sei away. After all, you have a name to protect", she said in a hushed tone after closing the door.

"What...reaction...why?" Sachiko's heart jumped. Instinctively, she knew what she was about to hear was something she didn't want to.

"Sei'-chan's not here"

"Oh...I see..." Sachiko's eyes looked down to stare at the letter she was holding. "What time will she be back?"

Hideyo sat down in front of Sachiko. "She's not coming back any time soon, Sachiko-san"

"What...what do you mean?" A cold shiver ran down her spine. It was something she had been dreading. The weeks that passed by without any glimpse of Sei had made her worry already.

"She's in Europe right now. She's--"

Sachiko gasped, she had lost the opportunity because of her stupid pride. "No", she mumbled. She stood up and started to run but was deterred by Hideyo. "Sachiko-san, see, this is where trouble began between you and Sei. Both of you tend to run away from reality, instead of facing them. That will never do if you want to make this work"

Sachiko looked stunned and confused. Hideyo gently pulled her back and pointed at a chair. "Be a nice little girl and listen. Now, sit"

Sachiko obediently followed Hideyo's orders and sat quietly like a dejected child.

Hideyo sighed and remained standing, as if berating Sachiko. "She's in Europe right now because I made her go there for two reasons. First, I still need some information for my thesis. And second, she needs to be far away from you as possible, temporarily"

"But I though you said--"

"Shush, let me finish. Kids these days, you have no respect for the elders", Hideyo quipped.

"I'm sorry..." Sachiko replied.

"Can I level with you, Sachiko-san?"

"Yes...please..."

"I'm not in love with Sei, nor am I remotely attracted to her"

Sachiko blinked several times and turned red.

"Sei-chan never mentioned anything to me, but I have sensed it since the day we first met. You've been insecure with my relationship with her. Sachiko-san...you were not here during Sei's freshman year...she was lost...she had no friends...though many people flocked to her right away...she had to deal with predatory upperclassmen given her unusual beauty...I took note of her, because I was...exactly like her when I was at her age...and I didn't want anyone to go through what I went through..."

Sachiko began to cry silently. It had never occurred to her that Sei had difficulty adjusting to a bigger setting like her. With the exception of Shiori, Sachiko always felt that everything came easy for Sei. It's just, all the while, Sei simply struggled to make things easy, though deep down, a constant turmoil was present.

"Do you understand now, Sachiko-san?"

"Yes...I'm sorry..."

"There's no need to apologize to me. Because having said that, I understand where your insecurity is coming from. Sei...does have a magnetic personality...and if I were in your shoes...I'd probably be on my toes all the time too...but there's another way to look at things, Sachiko-san. Have you ever thought of Sei being jealous?"

"I never...I didn't know"

Hideyo grinned. "She always complained to me. You're too beautiful for your own good...that all her latent violent tendencies want to break free whenever you two are out, and boys gawk at you. Heaven forbid, Sachiko-san, that a foolish male tries to hit on you in front of Sei, she might end up in jail", Hideyo chuckled while Sachiko blushed.

"Yet, she never told you that, correct?"

"No...she's never..."

"Because she never thought you're to blame...so she never understood why you made it seem like it's her fault"

"She's a flirt, Hideyo-sama" Sachiko frowned.

"You fell in love with that flirt, in a lot of ways because of that, not despite of. Need I remind you?", Hideyo retorted.

Sachiko moved her mouth to something that resembled a smile.

"Under that flirtatious mask...is a scared little girl who uses that in order to cope with all the attention, and pressure...don't think I'm justifying it...I think she needs to curb her enthusiasm for wide-eyed cute girls a bit, but you also need to admit, she knows when to draw the line"

Sachiko nodded in agreement.

"I don't know your life history, Sachiko-san...and if you're not comfortable telling me, that's fine...I merely wish to make you see that Sei is someone you can trust fully...she deserves that trust because she had shown she is worthy of that trust...I don't know why you're having difficulty in trusting her...but she had been breast-beating about her lapse of judgment by going to the greenhouse with Shiori...she thinks this is all her fault...she's hurting badly, Sachiko-san, just like you"

"She hates me, Hideyo-sama..."

"She's angry at...everything right now...so yes, she's still ticked off at you...but that's only because she loves you"

Sachiko's eyes brightened a bit upon hearing the last statement.

"You understand now why she had to leave?"

"I...I think so..."

Hideyo nodded. "She'll bounce back in no time, Sachiko-san...but you'll have to do your part"

"What if she doesn't? What if she's not willing to give me another chance"

"I can't really answer that...you...would have to wait and see...I can't promise you it would be that easy after that...I can't even say she'll still want to be with you...but at least I know she's working on her anger..."

Sachiko groaned, while Hideyo chuckled. "Your impatience is disturbing, Sachiko-san. Are you really capable of trusting her?"

Sachiko didn't answer it immediately, and thought about the question carefully. "I am"

"Good", Hideyo said with a wide grin. "Now, forget about that crumpled letter you've been holding on and _talk _to her when she returns. And do force her to talk as well, that's something you two have to work on. Eye contact between the two of you can only go so far"

---

Sei walked inside an old dilapidated chapel in Firenze and took photos of it.

"Casa di Dante", an old man said, following Sei inside. Professor Lombardi was a burly Italian scholar who had been Hideyo's main contact for her thesis on Dante's La Divina Comedia. "This is where Beatrice was baptized...I would somehow imagine Dante wanting to have gotten married here with her"

"She died..." Sei muttered as her hand gently ran through the old baptismal area. "They were never really lovers, where they?"

"No", Professor Lambardi said. "She in fact got married to a banker, but was murdered at the age of 24. And Dante himself got married and had children of his own"

"How can he write an epic poem, when he had very little to work with?"

The Italian man smiled. "Ah but it's not the longevity, no?"

"I guess not..."

"Dante, saw Beatrice as a pure and holy person...to the point, and you can see this in the cantos found in Paradiso, that he saw her as godlike. In Dante's world filled with love for money, and that bankers and merchants took over the society, Beatrice was the beacon of light that led him to what is good and true"

"That's why he portrayed her to be someone who had gone up to heaven and has beatific vision"

"Beatrice...the one who has beatific vision...the one who can see God. Yes. La Divina Comedia, is simply a love story. A man's journey from the depths of hell to paradise. That's what love is, isn't it?"

Sei remained silent. Professor Lombardi sensed a discomfort in her by raising the topic of love, and understood why his favorite young Japanese scholar had asked him to take Sei here, when Hideyo herself had gone through the chapel several times already.

"Love...you can see it as two points enjoined by a line. Here in the left would be vice...and the right...virtue. Too much passion and it will drive you here", Professor Lombardi said, moving his hand to the left of the imaginary line. "Passion can very dangerous...as it can push you towards all kinds of misery. So it should be tempered by this", his hand moved to the right. "Wanting requires patience...attraction has to be tempered by prudence...needs have to be controlled by consideration for others. You see?"

"Passion is not bad in itself. But when you allow it to take over your reason", he added, pressing his temple with his pointer finger several times. "Tsk. That is man's biggest folly. And you young ones are the easiest to fall into that", he said with a chuckle.

Sei laughed for a bit, and then turned pensive. "What if you think you've done all of that and still failed?"

"You think?"

"Yeah...I think so...can you stop yourself from getting really mad?"

"No, no. I don't think so. After all, we are not God, eh? And this is why, the fictional Dante had to travel from Hell in order to understand and appreciate what salvation meant. It is only when we see and feel what it is to be in the dark, can we long for the light. It is when you get angry, that you begin to see the yourself and the other as flawed, rightfully so, as to avoid putting people upon a pedestal . It is alright to get mad, but just like any vice, it can get addicting. So one has to struggle in order to temper it with understanding...and forgiveness"

"Love is ultimately, forgiveness" Sei mumbled to herself.

Professor Lombardi smiled and nodded in satisfaction. "That's what salvation means, isn't it? It is the freedom you give to yourself and others when you have cut yourself out of the chains of anger. Dante would be very proud of you, Satou Sei"

---

"Are you sure, you don't want to stay a little bit longer? My wife and I would've wanted to take you to our villa", Professor Lombardi asked, as she helped Sei carry her luggage in the airport terminal"

"I would love to...some other time...I would definitely take the offer, Professor Lombardi...but...there's a graduation I need to attend to" Sei said. Professor Lombardi took note of the glaring difference in the young woman's expression since they first met a month ago. It had disturbed him to see such a bright, intelligent, and beautiful girl carry so much burden in her heart, but now, he is more than pleased to see such optimism in one's eyes "Thank you for your hospitality. Please don't hesitate to come to Japan. It would be an honor to return the favor"

"I will. Your fish market is something I've longed to see", he said with a laugh. Sei waved at him and hurriedly set to embark on her journey back home.

---

Lillian was flocked by students, parents, and outsiders that day. It was after all, graduation day for the 3rd years. While everyone is wearing their celebratory garb, Shimako looked sullen. She glanced at Yumi and Yoshino, whose respective older sisters stood proudly beside them. No one has dared mention anything about Sei's absence for the sake of her and Sachiko. Youko brought along Hideyo in order for her to have a bit more understanding of her much maligned Seour system. Shimako's thoughts were interrupted when Yumi's eyes widened. "Sei-sama!", she shouted, while pointing at the direction behind Shimako.

Yoshino swooned. "Oooh, Sei-sama's looking more beautiful than ever", she said, receiving an icy glare from Rei. "What? She is!"

Sei stood a few meters away, her hair much longer than the last time, though still unkempt. Her skin was a bit sun-kissed caused by the warmer Italian weather, of which she was exposed to courtesy of Professor Lombardi's insistence to at least bring her to their beaches before she headed back. It matched the color of her hair perfectly, and under the sun, she appeared glowing. She started walking towards Shimako, and the latter met her half way, while the others hesitantly followed behind.

"It was an amazing speech you gave, Shimako", Sei said with a grin.

"Y-you were there in the audience, Onee-sama?" Shimako asked.

"Course I was there. Would I skip this important day of my petite seour?" Sei gave a peace sign and grinned again, a signal that things are alright between her and Shimako.

Shimako hugged Sei tightly and cried. "Onee-sama...I'm so sorry..."

"Shh..." Sei hushed. "It's alright now"

"Arrival came a month early", Hideyo interrupted. "What happened?"

"I've gathered everything you already asked of me to get, Hideyo-sama. You'll be ready for your thesis defense", Sei replied, letting go of Shimako and faced everyone. "Also...I've had enough being called...bella donna" Sei said, in an exaggerated Italian accent, imitating the stereotypical Italian gesture when they appreciate something.

Sei noticed the nervous laughter of everyone else except Hideyo and Youko. Behind the latter was Sachiko, quietly gazing at her. Sei glanced at everyone else and found them fidgeting in their spots. "Sachiko-san", she said with a grin.

Sachiko smiled and muttered, "Sei-sama, I'm glad you're back"

"So much for a love-filled reunion", Yoshino complained. "Ow!". Rei ribbed her and effectively kept her quiet, while everyone, including Sachiko and Sei looked at her awkwardly.

"Shimako, how about coffee with me? My treat", Sei said, in order to break the uncomfortable silence. Shimako nodded and smiled. "I'd love that"

"Alright, please excuse us", Sei said to everyone gathered around, and walked away with Shimako.

"Uh, Sei-sama!" Everyone looked stunned as Sachiko ran towards Sei. "I...I'm hosting a celebratory dinner...at my family's house for Yumi, Yoshino, and Shimako...I...I would appreciate it...if you'd be there...for them", Sachiko said, glancing at Shimako, who smiled in return.

"That sounds fun. Thank you. Please expect me to be there with Shimako", Sei replied amiably.

Sei and Shimako headed towards a coffee shop without speaking to one another, though the silence was comfortable, until Sei spoke. "Shimako"

"Yes, Onee-sama?"

"I missed you"

"I missed you, too". Shimako held Sei's arm and leaned against it. "Thank you for coming back"

---

**A/N: We're nearing the end, and I emphasize the nearing. We gots to find closure, and it ain't that simple, we all know. Though I'm already feeling the separation blues over this story. **

**To the reviewer "Grr!" (love your chosen name btw lol): Thank you for pointing out a weakness in the development of the story (re: rushing and forcing the getting together part). I have been rather feeling uncomfortable over something, but I couldn't figure it out, and it was exactly your observation apparently. I will definitely take note of that for my next story (though I still don't have any idea what it would be and when. I still have one story lagging behind for Bleach. Anyone of you interested in Soifon and Yoruichi, everyone please feel free to jump over the other stories and review, even if the first one's already finished. There's always room for much needed improvement). **

**Finally. I'm compelled to defend Sachiko from some of your violent reactions (they scared me a bit LMAO). It's not my intention to place her in a really bad light. As it is very obvious by now, this is a more Sei-centric plot, thus she is fairly well represented here. But, let's not forget Sachiko is a victim of so many unwanted circumstances as well. And, if we are to see more of Sachiko's point of view, I'm sure Sei's far from being an angel. So anyone who wants to write and look at it from Sachiko's pov, you are most welcomed to do so, for the sake of fairness :D**


	18. Chapter 18

"I must say, you're quite the meddler yourself", Youko teased Hideyo after finding out how she managed to push Sei in the right direction. "So...you basically already had everything you needed for your thesis...but you still sent her away?"

"Yes...though I'm feeling a little guilty...because that's the school's money...and Sei had to ask for special permission to take the final exams earlier than the rest.."Hideyo shrugged while driving. "Oh what the heck. It's not like they're not milking the value out of me by always pressuring me to come up with literary works, even when I don't want to"

"Hmm...where exactly are you taking me?" Youko interrupted upon noticing a different course they were taking.

"Ah, I just need to drop some art supplies at my father's gallery. God forbid I don't deliver this, he'll probably portray me as the she-devil in his next painting"

"Your father's an artist too?" Youko felt so small all of a sudden. In fact, if she could just shrink and disappear, it would have been a better option. She had flirted, and kissed this girl, who incidentally has been her part-time driver since she arrived, and yet, had no inkling about her background.

"Yes...please allow me to brag for one moment...Ishimura Kazuo...he's the country's foremost watercolor master...but more than that, he's known in the art world as the traveling painter", Hideyo explained with a certain gleaming in her eyes.

"Traveling painter?"

"He travels around the country...teaching less fortunate children how to paint...he stays in one area for as long as six months sometimes"

Youko was left astonished. "That's...that's amazing"

"His father", Hideyo continued. "I suppose you can call him my grandfather...although that implies a relationship beyond biological...always hated his art...said he will die hungry as a painter...However, my father...well...you can say my stubbornness stems from somewhere...did not pursue his father's wish for him to become a doctor...and so, one day...he packed his bags and left..."

Youko felt nervous all of a sudden. Ever since Hideyo made it known that she had an interest on her,their conversations revolved around the former's life. They have been brutally honest about their feelings of the present, but Youko has never gone past knowing Hideyo's life prior to being Sei's mentor , as if, anything before that was a vacuum, not needed to be filled. She never asked, for she felt oddly comfortable trusting whatever the older girl presented as herself. Now, Hideyo is somewhat filling in the void without prompt, and Youko wasn't sure what this all meant.

"His art brought him to different places when he was a lot younger...you know, where the demand is...he's there...like painting in tourist areas for those foreigners to buy...his traveling made him see so much poverty and injustice...he thought that maybe, being a doctor would be better because he could help out other people that way...but then, one day, a teenage boy came up to him and asked my father if he could teach him how to paint...He had no idea who that boy was, but decided to take him up as a student anyway. You would never guess who that boy was and what he became"

"Please tell me", Youko was now more immersed than ever.

"The Dean of your law school", Hideyo said with a snicker.

Youko's mouth was left agape, now everything made sense. "He's a genius...He's the youngest Dean in the history of our school...He used to tell us, that he was an abused child...and that's why his expertise is on child abuse laws...and that art saved him...because instead of being angry at the world...he channeled it on art...making it more productive...and if it hadn't been for that...he couldn't been...I always thought it was just one of those inspirational things you tell your students...I didn't really...oh my..."

"By the way, if you're still curious...I was able to contact you in Britain through him", Hideyo laughed.

Hideyo parked the car in front of an art gallery, the only time Youko realized that she was in the other side of the city already. "See that? That's my father's", Hideyo grinned. "He teaches any kid who wants to learn painting, free for the less fortunate, and with a fee for the more privileged in order to subsidize the art supplies of the other group...he still travels in order to teach other children from different areas...but now...his former students are taking over his task...you can say it's a viral thing"

A man about his early 50's looked up and noticed the car in front. He grinned and waved at Hideyo before stepping out. "Hideyo-chaaaaaaan!", he exclaimed. Hideyo stepped out of the car laughing, and ran towards her father. Her father gave her a bear hug and lifted her a bit. "Eat, my daughter. I swear, your weight has not changed since you were 15"

"Seriously, I eat. A lot. I just don't gain weight"

"Liar" Both laughed jovially until her father took notice of Youko, and walked towards her.

Her father shook Youko's hand and introduced himself. "I'm Hideyo's father, that seems to be the introduction these days since she's more famous than me now. You are?"

"Mizuno Youko, pleased to meet you sir"

"Likewise. You must be Hideyo's new muse. She's been writing mushy things lately"

"Dad" Hideyo said flatly. "New implies there was an old one. I _never_ had one before. And I _don't_ write mushy things. He's lying", Hideyo said, directing her defensive retort to Youko.

"Oh please", Her father scoffed. "You had an old one, what's the name of that hag you never introduced to me?"

Hideyo rolled her eyes. "Please don't speak evil"; Her father guffawed, but eventually became distracted by a group of young boys and girls running towards him.

Hideyo moved near Youko and whispered, "We'll talk about her, later", after Youko gave Hideyo a suspicious look.

"He...knows about your...uh...preference?"

"Yeah well, not by choice. He caught me...I mean...well...again...we'll talk about that later"

"And he's alright with it?"

"Not initially...but it's not like he has a choice in the matter", Hideyo snickered. "Anyway Dad, I'll leave these supplies here". Her father absentmindedly waved at her, while he entertained the younger ones before heading back to his gallery with them.

While in the car, Youko was overwhelmed and remained silent, absorbing the colorful history of Hideyo's father . The latter was the first to break the silence. "He's crazy, don't you think?"

Youko smiled and nodded. "You have such a wonderful open relationship with your father"

"It wasn't always like that...especially since my mother left him when we weren't still financially stable...but you know, there's only two of us in this world...so we stuck it out...and now it's like this between us"

"Your mother...left you?"

"Yes...though...I can't _really_ blame her. He wasn't much of a husband, because like I mentioned, he traveled a lot", Hideyo chuckled.

"But...who were you left with when he goes around the country?"

"Well...when I was a lot younger...he'd ask our neighbors to take care of me...It was a pretty bohemian neighborhood...full of eccentrics and artists...they go hand in hand...It wasn't a pretty experience...They..." Hideyo stopped herself, deciding that there are certain things meant to be said in another time. "but once I turned twelve and pretty much can take care of myself...I stayed at home alone...to be fair...during that period...he won't be away for more than 3 months at a time"

"Yet, you're in good terms with him...you didn't feel..abandoned?" Youko was careful with her choice of words. She was treading on what could be dangerous ground, probing deeper into Hideyo's life.

"I did...I resented it a lot..I was an angry child, let me tell you", Hideyo laughed ".My first short story was exactly that...the life of an abandoned child...but...as I grew older...while I still resented those days...I can justify it now...because I have more capacity for understanding...I can see so much joy in him when he sees a student learn, even if that meant hunger for him"

"But you're financially stable now..."

"My father sold out", Hideyo laughed. "You know, rich men who think they know their arts, buy my father's work, so...this car's a fruit of that hypocrisy and pretension"

Youko was never the type who will gush about someone, but she found herself filled with admiration. "How can you be so..."

"Positive? Sei always complained about that. Said that sun shines right out of my behind...", she snickered before turning serious and hesitant. "like I said, I was an angry kid...and that turned into self-inflicted violence ...When you're thirteen, you feel that the world is against you", she said with a hint of regret. "Cutting became my form of control, especially since I couldn't control my father from leaving me all the time...I had no other way to channel it"

"But you write...didn't that help? Sei always tells me it helps her..."

"I only took it up after I almost died...I didn't go near any canvass either...that was my silent protest against my father...my grandfather would've been proud of me"

Youko was overcome by so many different emotions all at once, she took Hideyo's hand that was free from the steering wheel, and gripped it tightly.

Hideyo smiled in return to comfort her, a smile that told Youko that she's simply the narrator of that story now, and that everything is already a distant past. "I took up writing...and that's when things changed...in a world where ninety percent of what happens is beyond my control, I have something I had total mastery over, my own thoughts and words placed in writing...eventually I've learned to place things in order, know how to handle my emotions better, make it more productive, but good lord, if my father didn't find me in the nick of time...", she shook her head emphatically.

"Are you still angry?"

"Yes...now and then...I think we'd be foolish to say we can totally let go of our pasts and the feelings that go along with it...but...like I said, I'm a lot wiser now...I hope", Hideyo said in jest. "I'm telling you this, Youko...because if we plan to take things further when you return...you need to know what you're getting yourself into...I don't want you to place me in a box with one impression of me...and then opening it afterward only to find something different...and be disappointed"

"I'm not the least bit disappointed...I'm not Sei...I don't see you as almost perfect"

Hideyo looked relieved. "That's good to know...my life...I've met bad people, some are worse than the others...but I've also met good people along the way", she said, glancing at Youko. "I think that balances things out"

"I'm glad you still know how to trust people...", Youko said.

"Oh, well, exactly the reason why I always try to trust people. I can't simply believe the world is full of evil, and so I always open myself to the possibility of bumping into the other kind. Sei still needs to learn that. Right now she easily gives up after getting disillusioned by reality. But she'll eventually learn to cope with them"

"I hope so" Youko mumbled, then when silent for a few minutes, chewing at everything she had learned so far. She smiled eventually and spoke, "You can be like your father to me, right?"

"Leave you?", Hideyo responded in shock.

"No, no...I meant...teach me...about liberal arts...literature"

"Hmm...your own private tutor?...I like that" Hideyo said a grin.

"Here you are", she added, parking her car in front of Youko's apartment, disappointing Youko that the day will have to end already.

"Yes...here I am" Youko was set to leave again tomorrow afternoon, as she simply went home to watch Yumi graduate. After all these years, Youko still takes her role as grande seour seriously. Unfortunately, even though it is already summer, the apprenticeship Youko applied to required her to return, and so no matter how much she would want to spend it with her friends and Hideyo, she needed to go back to Britain.

Youko sat still for a few seconds, and then removed her seat belt. She leaned closer and kissed Hideyo, this time with more intensity.

"You're really the brave one, aren't you? First, in a sea of humanity known as the airport terminal. Now, right in front of your apartment complex"

Youko snickered "I'm not an Ogasawara...I'm just a Mizuno...And with all these heart aches and separation that surround me...well...to hell with everyone else" She kissed Hideyo once more, but the difference is, the latter kissed her back bringing with her more years of experience, allowing Youko to feel sensations she had never had before.

Youko broke the kiss, shocked at her own desires, but nonetheless surrendered to it. Gasping for air, she muttered, "Would you like to come up?"

Hideyo hesitated. "Won't that complicate matters for us?" Though they have been in constant communication, thanks to technology, jumping to that part scared Hideyo a bit, not so much for herself but for Youko.

The future lawyer shook her head. "You've given me so much of yourself today...it's been a privilege...I don't want to leave without sharing a part of me with you...with an understanding that when I come back...you'll be here...so that I can give more"

"Yes...I'll be here"

"Then...there's nothing complicated about us...so...will you spend the night with me?"

---

**A/N: I really can't believe that Hideyo has received such numerous positive responses from a lot of you (thank you!). To be honest, I initially meant for her to simply be one of Sei's "girls" that would work up Sachiko's jealous nature. **

**p.s what happens in Youko's apartment, I will also leave it up to your imagination. I think it's more exciting that way :D**

**p.p.s I do not wish for people to connect Hideyo's "traumatic" past with her sexual preference, it might be misinterpreted.**


	19. Chapter 19

"The truth is, I've never been more scared of anything and anyone. I could barely breathe just thinking of how my life will be without you, yet at the same time, I don't know how I could live my life with you...I didn't want you to see, nor feel...that who and what you are cause me so much anxiety...but .many times I just want to leave...I still do...I don't want to live my life confined to waiting for you"

Sachiko felt her heart contract. "Are you...saying goodbye?"

"I want to..."

---

Sei grimaced a bit as soon as she entered the Ogasawara Mansion. She had just arrived for the dinner, and it turned out to be quite...festive. Sachiko's father invited some of his colleagues and their family members, much to her frustration. It was her father's way of giving Sachiko's friends a favor in terms of networking for a good head start. Hideyo chuckled at Sei's discomfort, and the latter returned it with a smirk, seeing that her mentor was stuck in between several old men and women, curious and interested in her.

Sachiko sighed wistfully at Sei's presence. It seemed that European fashion had rubbed off on Sei and her casual chic attire that simply made her unbelievably attractive. Suguru moved next to his fiance and handed over a table napkin. "Stop drooling or you'll spoil the wonderful carpet", he murmured with a smirk. Sachiko glared at him, but could not offer any retort. She was figuratively swooning over Sei

and to even defend herself was a futile exercise. She had missed Sei terribly, both physically and emotionally, and all Sachiko ever wanted to do is to lock herself up in a room with Sei and stay there until she can have both back.

"Don't you just love her when she wears a kimono?" Sei was startled by the voice behind her. Yoshino grinned and looked at her knowingly. The older girl got caught repeatedly stealing glances at Sachiko, with her focus shifting from the latter's head to feet. "I bet you my heart, you're thinking of ways to undress her", Yoshino said with a snicker. Sei sneered at her but said nothing about it, instead she asked, "where's Shimako? We were suppose to go together, but she called up and said she'd go earlier"

"I saw her earlier with Yumi", said Rei who glared at Yoshino, knowing by the younger girl's facial expression that she had been teasing Sei. "Yoshino, why don't you go with me and find Shimako?"

"But", Yoshino protested. "Oh fine", she surrendered after Rei continued glaring at her. The two walked away and leaving Sei alone once more. She glanced at Sachiko one more time, coincidentally at the same time the latter glanced as well. Their eyes met and locked in for a few seconds, until Sachiko smiled and bowed at her. She stepped away from the group of people she had been talking to and moved towards Sei. "Sei-sama....thank you for coming"

Sei awkwardly grinned. "Err...I think I'm under dressed for the occasion"

Sachiko shook her head. "No...please don't think that way...it's just my father's idea to bring in some of his colleagues and family members...you look amazing...I mean..."

A pregnant pause ensued after Sachiko spoke. "Thanks", Sei finally murmured. "You look good too"

"Ah there you are!" Ogasawara Touro's voice echoed through out the hall. 'Sei-san!"

A man, about the age of Sachiko's father and a young man appeared together with him and walked towards Sei. "Sei-san, this is Kimura Asato, and his son Umito. Asato-san was my classmate in college, and he is a publisher"

Sachiko bowed and quietly excused herself from the crowd and moved towards the wine section, sipping her bitterness away. Sei, despite her being overwhelmed, took note of where Sachiko headed.

"I have met Hideyo-san, and it's an honor to meet you as well. I see that I'm quite fortunate to be in the company of our country's future artists", the older man jovially said. "You have won awards as well, I've heard"

Sei grinned, embarrassed at the flattery thrown her way. "Err...well..just a couple actually"

Kimura Asato took out a business card and gave it to Sei. "Please consider choosing our company to publish your work"

Sei looked visibly surprised and happy. "Thank you", she bowed her head and took the card.

"Now, you must excuse me, I see another colleague I need to speak with", said the older Kimura. Umito, however, remained standing with Sei. "Would you like to have a drink, Satou-san?"

"Uhm, okay", Sei said, scratching her head absentmindedly, searching for Shimako.

Sachiko sighed heavily and groaned. She was watching the scene from afar, and this isn't how she imagined the night to be. She thought she could be able to talk to Sei privately, but that has to wait. Sachiko thought that Sei was enjoying the company of Umito, and the last thing she wanted was to ruin her ex-girlfriend's night by taking her away from having fun.

"They look good together, don't they?" Suguru sniggered as he took a sip from his glass of wine.

Sachiko sneered at him in return and walked away. Umito glanced at Suguru, and winked at him. Suguru gave a thumbs up and mouthed, "good job". _Time to put that jealousy into good use, Sa-chan._ Suguru chuckled to himself at he took another sip of wine.

Umito continued wooing Sei, deliberately touching Sei's arm whenever Sachiko was at observing distance. She, however, could not do anything. She's no longer Sei's girlfriend and had no right to interfere. When it was obvious that Sachiko was still not ready to spring into action, Umito leaned closer and whispered something in her ear. Sei stepped back subtly, afraid of offending the young man, but trying desperately to avoid any misrepresentation as well. More importantly, she didn't want Sachiko to see her with anyone else. "Uh, Umito-san...I think you're a good man...but..." She turned to look at the only friend near her, and that was Sachiko. Sei grimaced a bit, hoping the other girl would understand the signal.

_That's it _Sachiko thought to herself upon seeing Sei's silent pleading. She relaxed herself, then moved closer to Sei and Umito. "Kimura-san, my apologies, but I would have to excuse Sei-sama for a bit"

Umito smiled and bowed. "It's no problem, Ogasawara-san"

Sachiko guided Sei away from him and everyone else. "Sei-sama...please come with me", she whispered. "Thank you", Sei whispered back.

Suguru stepped closer to Umito and chuckled. "Nice acting skills"

"You owe me one, Suguru", Umito laughed in return. "Especially since it's the first time I've been turned down by anyone. What's the point in asking me to do that anyway?"

"Oh, Sei hates me with a passion. I just wanted to play around with her a bit, but...I've had enough fun, so I asked Sa-chan to excuse her. Besides you might just go overboard, if I didn't stop it"

"Well, don't blame me if that happened, she's really gorgeous. But man, she turned you down too? That must have hurt your ego badly"

Suguru smirked. "Yes...you can look at it that way"

---

"I think I need some air", Sachiko said afterward. "Would...you like to go with me?" Sachiko knew this was perhaps her only opportunity, and if she lets this pass, she may never have the same chance again. Sei nodded and followed Sachiko towards the door.

Sei remained silent, allowing Sachiko to walk ahead of her. Sei felt longing but there was something else too that Sei recognized immediately as anger, as pent up memories and emotions surged all of a sudden just by looking at Sachiko.

Sachiko turned around and said calmly. "I am hoping we could talk"

"I don't want to talk about what happened between us anymore. Can't we just move on?". Sei's eyes were out of focus, looking at everything except Sachiko. The latter however was bent on forcing Sei to get out of her shell and face things. The more they prolong this, the more their negative feelings will be nurtured. This was her promise to Hideyo, and this is what she wanted as well. If this conversation would mean the end of things, so be it, but she won't go down without fighting in knowing how Sei really feels. She held Sei, and forced her to look straight into her eyes, and asked, "We can't...until we've dealt with what happened"

Sei made a frustrated sound and pushed Sachiko away in a forceful manner, causing her to topple down.

"That's not the way to really hurt me", Sachiko mumbled. She stood up and walked back toward Sei "Here", she held Sei's hand and placed it on her cheek. "You hit me here"

"No". Sei's hand began trembling, but Sachiko held her wrist tight and jerked it. Did she really mean to hurt Sachiko? Did she still feel the desire to hurt her? No, she couldn't have meant it, otherwise, why can't she move her hand now?

"My face is wide-open...I'm letting you...you want to hurt me...I can see it in your eyes...I felt it earlier...so please do it" Sachiko breathed in and closed her eyes, waiting for that hand to land a strong contact on her face. Nothing happened after a few seconds, what she immediately saw upon opening her eyes was Sei down on her knees and slumped over. "I thought I've forgiven you...I thought I was not angry anymore...I don't know...what came over me..."

Sachiko carefully sat down in front of Sei and coaxed her lean closer. Sachiko held her close, and fought against Sei's struggling. "Stop it...please...stop trying to break free..."

"I don't want to be angry...I don't want to..."

It was Sachiko's turn to kiss Sei, and repeatedly did this until it calmed the both of them. The raven-haired girl smiled, some things don't change apparently.

Sei slowly broke the kiss. "I know I've been the one who kept convincing you it was okay...all the while I kept convincing _myself_ it was okay..."

"What...what do you mean?"

"The truth is, I've never been more scared of anything and anyone. I could barely breathe just thinking of how my life will be without you, yet at the same time, I don't know how I could live my life with you...I didn't want you to see, nor feel...that who and what you are cause me so much anxiety...but .many times I just want to leave...I still do...I don't want to live my life confined to waiting for you"

Sachiko felt her heart contract. "Are you...saying goodbye?"

"I want to...But that's just plain cowardice, isn't it? I let myself in this situation...you never forced me...you never invited me..I fell in love with you...you never asked me to love you...it was my own decision and no one else's...And so I kept everything to myself...I could not trust my fears to you... because I made you trust my strength...and I didn't have the heart to disappoint you". Sei began trembling, Sachiko attempted to reach out but was startled when Sei spoke again abruptly. "But I never...lied to you...to hurt you...I didn't lie about loving you...and that just makes me so..."

"Angry...I know..." Sachiko muttered sadly. "I didn't realize it...until you left for Europe...and it gave me time to think about everything that happened between us"

"Sachiko...I...earlier..."

"Shh...feel my heart..." Sachiko placed Sei's hand on her chest. "It's beating calmly...it's telling me you didn't mean it..."

Sei nodded. "I'm sorry..."

"I'm sorry too...I know I have insecurities...but ...you're not my father, nor my grandfather...you're not Suguru...who have all left my heart broken...it was wrong of me to have projected them all on you..but I did...and I kept doing it...because oddly, I felt complacent as well...that you'd always run after me no matter what I do or say...that you'd find ways to make me feel safe...but I never returned it...I kept taking...you kept giving..."

"That's because I love you", Sei mumbled, unable to control herself any longer. . "Sometimes...you have a weird way of showing it...but I don't agree when you say all you did was take and not give"

"I'm sorry for calling you a liar...for not trusting you...for never giving you the chance to explain...I know just apologizing would not be enough...I'm willing to do anything so I can make it up to you"

"Anything?"

Sachiko nodded in all seriousness. "Anything..."

"Okay...let's call it even"

"E-even?"

"I've hurt you...you've hurt me...I can't stand it anymore" Sei said. "Come here"

Sachiko scooted closer. Sei placed her arm around Sachiko and pulled her against her body. "No, I don't want anything else for you to do...what you said is enough"

"But..."

"How many people in the world would be able to say, Ogasawara Sachiko has apologized and admitted her mistakes to them? Not plenty in this lifetime, I'm sure"

"Why are you making this easy for me?", Sachiko protested.

"Am I? I seem to recall manhandling you earlier"

Sachiko frowned. "You won't be letting go of that, will you? I already said it's fine...I know you didn't mean it"

Sei smiled and nodded. "Why are _you_ making this easy for me?"

"We've been making this difficult since the start...that's why we're in this situation in the first place...if I make this more hard for us...what's the good in that? And...I love you too..."

Sei stroked Sachiko's cheek. "I've been so angry because I felt I've done everything I could for you....I haven't been open...just kept things to myself away from you all the time...I thought by doing that, I was protecting you...I didn't realize that meant pushing you to the sidelines...I thought if I demanded anything from you, I will add up to the pressure your family and society have already been giving...In a lot of ways, I failed to trust you...I didn't stop to think how it made you feel...so yeah, I didn't add on to the pressure, but I made you more insecure than ever by not really treating you as a partner"

"So where do think we should go from here?", Sachiko asked.

"Where we started...somewhere along the way, we lost our friendship... can we get that back first? Then after that, let's try once more..."

Sachiko looked so relieved and nodded. "Alright...that's a good plan" They both stood up so that they can head back to the party.

"Sa-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Can I take it back?"

"Take what back?"

"When I said good riddance"

Sachiko smirked. "I never believed that anyway"

Sei rolled her eyes and groaned. "Oooh, so you think I could _never_ really leave you, huh?"

"_You_ can't even take your eyes off my kimono, Satou Sei..you think you can really walk away from this?" Sachiko teased.

"Like how you've been drooling over my tan since I got back?" Sei chuckled and scratched her head. "Well...So how are we going to manage just being friends for now?"

Sachiko stopped walking for a bit and thought about it. "Whose suggestion is it, anyway?"

"Mine?"

"Well, then _you_ answer that", Sachiko smiled seductively and flipped her hair as she walked away from Sei.

"We're off to a good start", Sei mumbled to herself. She returned to the party grinning like a mad dog, that it made the everyone who was aware of what happened before wonder, what occurred outside the mansion.

"You can always check their necks and see if there are love marks", Yoshino suggested."


	20. Chapter 20

Sei pondered at Hideyo's former office that's now empty, with only one thing left on it-- a metal nameplate that informs people this is where the president of the literature club takes space. Sei sighed before she heaved a box on top of it and began placing some of her things there. She was interrupted by a few peers about to leave the office. One of them knocked on Sei's new office. "Sei, have you already picked a research assistant/mentee?"

"Uhm, no, not really...I haven't been exactly scouting around"

"Hmm...you should get started, we've got fewer enrollees this year, you might run out of potential candidates"

Sei smiled and nodded. "Alright, I'll try to hang around the freshmen sometime soon". She shook her head and contemplated on the subject matter after the other girls have left. It feels like deja vu in a way; here she is, being pressured to once again, get an academic version of a petite seour. She knows she would have to get one soon, given her work load. She knows it's just so typical of her to delay the inevitable. As it is, her transfer to Hideyo's former desk took months to make, preferring to continue working on the research assistants' work area, until she was evicted by the other officers of the club. It's the end of November and winter is serious about making herself be felt this year. Sei sighed heavily again, and resumed fixing her things and failed to notice that someone opened the door. "Finally surrendering to fate?"

Sei looked up and grinned. "I'm a bit tired of the melodramatic life, give me another month and I'll square off with her again, Sa-chan", she said before turning around.

Sachiko smiled brightly and walked towards Sei, with two cups of coffee on hand. "I still don't understand your aversion towards this table"

"It's not the table", Sei responded as she took one of the cups. "Thank you...it's the location. It's an office inside an office...I'm too far away from everyone...it makes me feel so isolated and detached"

"Did Hideyo-sama feel that way when she occupied this place?"

"No...I don't think so"

"Then, it must not be the location...it must be you" Sachiko teased.

"Har har"

"It suits you, actually"

Sei groaned. "Thanks, just when I'm trying to _not_ embody the room, you just had to reinforce it"

"It has its benefits"

"Like?"

Sachiko grinned and handed over a letter. It was met by a confused frown from Sei as she began opening it. "A letter of...." Sei stopped reading and looked stunned in a pleased manner.

"intent to apply for research assistant, addressed to Ms. Satou Sei, from Ogasawara Sachiko", Sachiko finished for Sei.

"Hold on", Sei interjected. "You're not shifting courses...are you?"

The young heiress giggled. "No, I'm not shifting...but told my father I want to expand our company...I want to enter into...publishing...and if I plan to do that...I need to understand how the industry works...and be on the look out for up and coming writers...of course...you'd be the first I'd try to lure in later on"

"You...would be entering the publishing business? But...why?"

Sachiko, all of a sudden felt scared, unsure of how to take Sei's question. "I want every reason to keep you near me...too selfish?"

A grin slowly crept on Sei's face. "Yeah...too selfish...but I like it" The answer brought the glow back in Sachiko. "That means you're going to compete with your father's friend", Sei remarked.

"Oh, that's fine. Father hates his guts...he was invited over that party because father thought of helping you out...but since I brought up the idea...he's actually quite excited of starting the business...he...likes you...and wants you to really make it as well...are you fine with that idea? I mean...I know you'd want to make it on your own...but I just--"

"It's fine, Sa-chan...I appreciate it...for all your reasons", Sei smiled and hugged Sachiko. "Of course I'd let you publish my work...after all...you were the first to give that opportunity to me" She stepped away and brought out the bound book of her work that Sachiko gave almost a year ago. They were still in the process of establishing a stronger bond as friends. It's been difficult, but rewarding as well. And while things are still status quo, Sei knew where Sachiko wanted this to go, because that's also the direction she plans to take it.

"So...would you accept me as your research assistant?" Sachiko asked in a hopeful manner.

Sei pursed her lips and frowned. "I don't know, Sa-chan...There's no rule that says we can accept non-lit majors as mentees"

"There's also no rule that says you _cannot_ accept non-lit majors as mentees", Sachiko retorted smugly.

Sei chuckled. "That's correct. I suppose you can argue about it that way..."

"So would you? I know you're not too keen on getting one at all...but I--"

"I want you near me, too", Sei finished, while gazing at Sachiko. "I'm selfish too"

Sachiko sighed and threw herself at Sei. The latter held her tightly and began kissing Sachiko. "God, I missed this", she said afterward, not letting go of the younger girl in her arms.

"And that's the benefit of this isolated and detached office", Sachiko whispered while she rested her head on Sei's shoulder.

"You're not scared of going back to this?"

Sachiko held on to Sei tighter and shook her head. "I would be scared if it were another person...but if it's with you...I'd take that plunge a million times over...are you?"

Sei slid her hand on Sachiko's arm till it reached her hand. She felt the engagement ring that fit snugly on the raven-haired girl. There are a million reasons to be scared, starting with the fact that Sachiko will never be fully hers in given the world's reality thrown at them. But for some strange reason, all of those fears didn't matter much to Sei anymore. The problems will always be there, and perhaps for a dozen times, they would feel like walking away from each other. But there was also no denying that they've beaten the odds before, and the only thing that kept them apart was something of their own doing. Not Sachiko's family, not Suguru's, not Shiori's, and definitely not the rest of the world's fault. Nothing in this world can ever be secure, but it doesn't mean people should just simply give up.

"I once thought...the ball was in my hands...and so I tried to take it across the court on my own...I tripped and almost lost it...and worse...you were so far behind to recover it for me" She held Sachiko's hand and gripped it tightly. "It's yours and mine...I'd be very preoccupied with passing it back and forth to you...I certainly won't have time to be scared"

---FIN---

**A/N: As I mentioned in the earlier parts of this story, thank you for keeping an open mind.I'm new to fanfiction (only 3 stories so far), and in a way, that insulated me from the existing structures and categories such as "crack", which allowed me to just in fact freely let my imagination fly. And when you guys started showing support, well, let's just say, I didn't have time to be scared and worry about other people's purist stand on these things. So a big THANK YOU! :D**

**Thanks for all your comments, criticisms, etc. You have been very helpful, and I hope that I'll be able to keep improving :)**

**I really meant this to be short, so please don't throw tomatoes at me. I wish for *you* to continue their story in however way you want it. **

**Cheers!**


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